10: Summoning Courage
It was two days later and he could still see her blood splashed across the white pages of paper when he closed his eyes, and he had no idea why. Why had this of all things stuck with him? He had seen blood before, he was no stranger to it. Hell, he had seen her blood before.
He remembered her writhing on the floor of the drawing room. He froze, he was in that very same room now. He drew in a shaky breath. That must've been what set her off, him talking about the cruciatus curse. He remembered the fear in her eyes. He had been trying to push her, he had continued when she had asked him to stop, he had been trying to break her, and he had succeeded.
Immediately after that tense moment in the library Granger had pulled her wand out, wordlessly repaired the quill, and then mended her hand. She threw all of her belongings into her bag and left without saying anything.
He was quite sure she would have told Potter and Weasley but since no one had attempted to kill him yet he assumed she hadn't. He wondered why for a moment before remembering that this was Hermione Granger. He doubted she'd ask for help even if she was dying, she was too proud for that. He snorted. She wouldn't tell them anything, she'd try to handle him on her own.
****
Ginny watched her friend as she paced back and forth in front of her. She had been at practice and Hermione had shown up, her face had been ashen and there were bloodstains on her sleeve. Ginny had immediately called a timeout and told the team to stay out of the locker room. That's where they were now, Ginny sat in the middle of one of the long benches, and Hermione was pacing the length of it. Ginny took the time to really take in Hermione's appearance, her face was pale but her eyes were red and wide.
Twice Hermione had opened her mouth to speak and twice she had decided against it. Ginny finally prompted her, "Hermione..."
Hermione looked momentarily surprised when Ginny said her name but then looked at her friend, her gaze filled with something Ginny couldn't quite place. "I was scared, Gin. Really scared."
"Scared of what?" Ginny asked sharply, sitting up straighter.
"When Harry and Ron suggested working with Malfoy, I was scared, I was scared of him."
Ginny relaxed a little, there didn't seem to be an urgent threat, "And?" Ginny prompted again.
"And I thought that I was doing the right thing, facing my fears and all that but I don't think I can anymore Ginny. I don't think I can." Hermione said weakly, her voice breaking.
"What do you mean? What happened? Did something happen?" Ginny asked the three questions sharply. She had been about to comment on the blood on Hermione's sleeve but it was very little and probably nothing of consequence.
"I asked him to stop. I asked him to stop, Ginny," She took a slow shuddering breath, Ginny's eyes were wide. "And he didn't."
Ginny stood up immediately, she was just a few inches shorter than Hermione but the brunette witch was hunched over making Ginny significantly taller than her, "What did he do?" Ginny asked her voice hard, her words biting.
"I-," Hermione paused, her voice shaking again, "He could see what it was doing to me, and I asked him to stop," She said almost pleadingly this time.
"Hermione," Ginny said softly.
"It was an older case," Hermione said, "a teenaged child torturing and murdering his parents. The report described the wounds and torture in gruesome detail. It was similar-similar to, well, you know," Hermione offered as an explanation. "I asked him to stop and he didn't."
"Oh, Hermione," Ginny said soothingly to her friend, sitting back down on the bench and pulling Hermione with her. She rubbed soothing circles on Hermione's back as Hermione leaned into the embrace.
"He's the same as he was in school," Hermione said in between tearless sobs, "he's a cruel bully."
"Yes," Ginny agreed angrily. "I'll tell Harry, he'll-"
"No!" Hermione interrupted, "Don't tell Harry and Ron, I-they can't-just don't, I don't want them to know."
"Hermione, it's alright, I'd tell them, you wouldn't have to repeat it all over again," Ginny said kindly.
"No," Hermione was standing again, "Don't tell them-they- I don't want them to know, I can't-they can't know that it still- that I still-"
Ginny cut in, "It doesn't make you weak, Hermione, and they won't think any less of you, you know they won't,"
"I-I know," Hermione stuttered, "I just- I don't want them to know just yet, alright? I'll tell them, I swear, just not yet. I need to be able to handle this on my own."
Ginny hesitated and then agreed though she did remind Hermione that if she didn't tell Harry or Ron anything she would have to go on meeting with Malfoy as they had originally planned. Hermione smiled at her friend, if anyone would understand her need to handle Malfoy on her own it was Ginny. Even if she just told the boys that she didn't want to do that anymore they would certainly have questions, and she wouldn't give them answers.
****
Three days later, Hermione slipped into the chair opposite Malfoy who had already settled down with his files.
"Didn't think you'd show, mudblood." He said snarkily.
Hermione looked up at him, even though he wouldn't meet her eyes and said, "I don't back out when things get hard." her eyes flashing dangerously.
Her voice had come out cooler and more controlled than she felt, with another deep breath she slid into the pile of work in front of her. Only this time when she had to share something with him she would mark it clearly and drop it onto the expanse of table in between them. He copied her, making today much quieter than the other day. He only broke their pattern to tell her that the Ministry had assigned a public defender to his father's case since he could no longer pay for representation.
They both knew that a public defender wouldn't help much, given that most public defenders were assigned upwards of 60 cases a month. It was unlikely that anyone would put any effort, beyond the bare minimum, into defending Lucius Malfoy.
It was dark outside now, they had been here for hours and all they didn't have anything that either of them felt confident with. Hermione groaned in frustration, leaning back in her chair, the noise made Malfoy look up, his eyebrows raised. Hermione blushed slightly, she knew she had interrupted him but honestly she had come here without eating lunch and it was quite late now. She stood up to stretch her back, "I'm going to go look for something to eat," she said as she moved to put her papers into her bag.
"Will you be coming back?" Malfoy asked, his face and tone indifferent.
"Y-yeah," Hermione answered, seemingly caught off guard by the question.
"Well then, it would seem the reasonable thing to do would be to leave your things here." He said slowly as though he were talking to a very stupid child.
"I-" His question had startled her into dropping the careful manner that she had adopted, "what?"
"I said," He said snidely, "that it seems stupid of you to pack everything up and take it with you if you plan on coming back. That is if you really do plan on coming back."
"I am coming back!" Hermione said defensively, "I just don't trust you around my stuff is all,"
"Ah yes, because in the minuscule amount of time that you are gone I will make it my mission to root through your mudblood tainted things," He said sarcastically, still in that infuriating tone of voice. "Honestly Granger, I don't know why they call you bright, you seem a bit slow."
Hermione was utterly flummoxed, just days ago he wouldn't look at her and now he was actively seeking out a conversation with her?
It took her a moment but she figured he was taunting her, trying to get a rise out of her, trying to make her react. She settled on being cordial but not overly polite, she didn't want to accidentally stray into friendship with this man, but to treat him with the disrespect his actions warranted would only make this harder on herself. As soon as this sordid business was over he could go back to being out of her life.
****
Malfoy could see the gears turning in her head, her mouth hung slightly open. In all honesty her new silent treatment while they were working was infuriating. Her announcement that she was going to get food was the first thing he had heard in the last hours that wasn't the rustling of pages. And while Granger seemed content to work in complete silence he was not. So the moment he saw the opportunity for a conversation he took it. Delighting in how flustered and confused his behavior made her. Enjoying how his mocking was slowly turning her face red.
She finally responded, "Trust is earned, Malfoy," she said back simply, "and while you might not be going through my things I cannot say that I trust you not to."
He wasn't sure what to say to that, so instead he just said, "Fine." and swiveled back to his work, bending his head low. He heard her walk a few paces away, stop and walk back. He smirked, she had come back to argue. He kept his face pointed down at the table.
"Would you like me to get you anything?" She asked, she said in a defeated sort of way, like she was asking against her better judgment.
Now it was Draco's turn to be surprised, he knew she didn't want to work with him like this. He had heard nearly everything that had gone on behind the kitchen door the other day at Grimmauld Place. He knew that Weasel had thought it a good idea and that was why she was here. Honestly he didn't even know why she had agreed to help in the first place, he had chalked that up to the stupid hero-complex that came from hanging around with Potter.
But for her to offer to get him food, now, that was different, there was a sort of intimacy there that bordered on friendship. Amicable acquaintances might get food together but one wouldn't offer to go out of their way to get the other something. And he and Granger were enemies, very decidedly enemies.
It took him a while to respond as these thoughts rushed through his head, Granger was tapping her foot impatiently beside him, "I don't need your charity," he said mustering as much contempt as he could into his voice.
"I-you-I-" Granger spluttered, her face going red, "I was only trying to help, I-how-," she was irritated now, Draco could tell, her fingers fidgeted with the strap of her beaded bag, "fine Malfoy." She said, before shaking her head and stalking off.
He had only gotten through one more case when she returned, without food, and slid sulkily into a chair. "The Ministry dining hall is closed," she offered as a way of explanation. She had just started pulling out her case files when her stomach rumbled loudly, her face flushed crimson and she pulled her arms closer to herself in an attempt to 'hide' the sound.
Malfoy smirked to himself, he had just been about to comment on how unrefined that noise was and then say he was unsurprised considering her blood status, but when he looked up to speak he realized that Granger was armpit deep inside her beaded bag. He frowned, and then realized she had cast an undetectable extension charm on it. That was a notoriously difficult bit of magic and he couldn't help but be just a tad bit impressed.
She pulled out a handful of cauldron cakes and started unwrapping one ravenously. This time it was his own stomach that growled, her display with the cauldron cake had made him realize how hungry he was.
Hermione smirked at him from behind her cauldron cake as if to say he could've had one if he had only been more polite.
Draco stood suddenly, realizing he had no idea how much longer they would be here and deciding he really couldn't wait for food. Hermione looked at him warily, her hand straying towards her wand.
Merlin he thought to himself she really thinks that I'm going to hurt her. And then he reminded himself that he had no qualms about her pain or suffering, but to see her move to protect herself was strange, he would have to think about it later.
"I can't focus when I'm hungry," he said, trying to keep his sentences short and curt, "I'm going out for food, I'll be back."
"I told you," She said, adopting that same mocking tone he had used earlier, "everything's closed."
"I never said I'd stay in the Ministry," He responded a little smugly.
Hermione looked up at him, her mouth forming a small 'o'. He nodded once at her and walked away. He had only just made it to the first stack of books when he remembered that she had offered to get him food when she left. He was tempted to turn around and make her the same offer, he did have manners after all, when he forcefully reminded himself who she was. Granger, who didn't deserve to be treated with respect, Granger whom he had spent years tormenting, Granger whom he loathed even as she sat here helping him. He remembered the pitiful Cauldron Cakes.
If you asked him the next day Draco would blame the late hour or the exhaustive amount of work he had just done or the feeling of hopelessness that accompanied this kind of work, for what happened next. Because what Draco did next surprised both of them. He had already determined that bringing food back for her would be too friendly, but eating with her, that was something acquaintances did. And while they were enemies they were most definitely acquainted enemies.
So he turned around and asked her to come to dinner with him. She looked up from her half-finished Cauldron Cake, surprise etched in every line of her face, and said, "No."
He certainly hadn't been expecting that. He had expected her to cautiously say yes. But her response had floored him more than it should have. He stood there, his mouth hanging open slightly.
She got up from her chair saying, "Honestly we're both quite hungry, there's really no point in coming back later, it is quite late. I'll just go home now, see you here tomorrow, I should be out of work by five or so." She had said it all very quickly, he had barely had time to process it, and then she was gone.
And he still stood there, mouth hanging slightly open, facing the chair where she had sat.
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