Lisa's POV

"Thank you, Manila!"

"You guys are amazing!"

"See you soon. We'll definitely be back!"

"We hope you guys had fun. We love you!"

My hands reach for my chest, the fast beating of my heart almost drowning me over my own ecstasy. This feeling, I will never stop to be amazed every time. The adrenaline rush, the happiness like I was floating on a cloud nine, the smiles I see from the crowd, their voices when I hear them sing along and cheer for the four of us.

This feeling, this is my outlet, my haven. It keeps me off from all my troubles.

The smile on my face never left even after the lift slowly went down with me and the rest of the girls getting giddy hugging each other.

"Oh my God, the best feeling ever!" Jennie unnie exclaimed as she still bounces from her feet, obviously filled with adrenaline too.

Even Jisoo unnie and Chaeng are swaying back and forth with their arms still wrapped around each other.

In no time, we were skipping our way back to the dressing room. The night is still young but it's not like we can go and roam around the place.

"Unnie, I'm hungry. Are we still gping to swim later?" Chaeyoung asked but Jisoo unnie pouted.

"I don't think I still have the energy to swim later. I was too excited, I barely slept last night," she answered. Even Jennie unnie is starting to slow down as we walk.

We all turned when we heard our manager called for us.

"You guys have five minutes before you can meet your blinks for a send-off," he informed us and it wasn't as if Jennie unnie was almost out of energy earlier because just hearing about the send-off boosted her confidence a lot.

Chaeyoung and I laughed our asses off.

"Lemme just go and do my business on the rest room," I stated before heading to the dressing room. After entering the room, my manager oppa quickly gave me my phone and I started teasing him.

"Oooh, manager oppa, your cheeks were blushing. Did you finally confessed to our make up artist?" I started wiggling my eyebrows and his eyes widened.

"Yah! Keep quiet," he whispered as he checks our surroundings in case someone heard us. "Your mom called earlier. Try calling her back," he stated.

"Who's in love?" I giddily dance in front of him and he just marched his way out of the room still pouting but a smile tucked at the corner of his lips. He was mumbling about me being too much.

Shaking my head in amusement, I headed to the rest room to do my business. My manager oppa is really adorable. He has this huge crush over one of our make up artist and he's just so shy about it.

Fumbling with my phone, I started scanning the messages on it.

One message from Momo congratulating us. Another from Wendy who wanted to know when we will be back. Then, there is Bambam who sent a sad emoji because I didn't respond back to his last message.

After the incident, I didn't talk to him for days. I was upset by what he did but more importantly, I was also ashamed that he saw me on my lowest state. Sure I share my troubles with him but him seeing me like that like I was broken and at my most down, I didn't know how to feel.

I was both upset and sorry. He had apologized for what he did and I said it's fine. In all honesty, I just really want things to be done and over with.

My heart skipped a beat after I saw Jungkook's name on my phone. It was originally saved as "My Bunny cupcake" but I changed it back to his name after I removed it from being blocked.

The same night after I heard his voice, I spent the whole night thinking what went wrong and what I could have done differently. I wanted to assess the situation and see everything in a different sight and perspective.  I thought about the what-ifs and what if it wasn't.

The moment I lifted the block over his number, my phone started ringing. And though I was contemplating at first if I should answer, I still did.

That time, I knew wanted to listen. I knew I wanted the chance. So I did.

I answered the call and I heard him gasped, perhaps he was startled that his call got through moreover that I actually even answered.

"Lisa..." I heard him whisper.

I didn't speak. But I was sure he knew I was listening. The sound of my breathing gave it away.

"Thank you..." he whispered. A tear fell on my cheeks. I can't help but cry. I miss him.

"I know you don't want to hear me keep saying sorry but I want to tell everything. I want it all clean so please listen. I didn't block her number. When she broke up with me, I was hurt. And deep inside, I was still hoping I can still have her back. And then you came. Day by day, I stopped thinking about her. Instead, I'd wake up each morning and all I remember was your voice,  how the sound of your laughter filled my ears from the conversation we had the previous night. I found myself smiling like some fool while practising because I keep imagining you smiling and cheering for me. Each day, her memories were slowly being replaced by your own,"

I gulped. My heart started feeling warm at his words, words that he never dares to speak to me. He never told me about these things.

"So when you started avoiding me after I went back from Japan, I knew I had to do something. And we happened. I fell asleep that night feeling so ecstatic. Until things started falling apart and I got confused. I was afraid I'd hurt you. I was afraid I haven't fully moved on from her. So when she messaged me and I foundnout she was sick, I responded and even met her. I was confused and I wanted to confirm my feelings. I was a jerk because I didn't tell you. It was all on me, Lisa. I will forever hate myself for causing so much pain towards you. Please don't ever think that you're not worth it. I know no matter how much I say sorry, nothing will change. But Lisa, you know what I realized after all that's happened?"

I shifted from my position as I listen to him speak.

"I realized how much I love you and how much it will hurt more if I don'y have you. If I need to beg on my knees or say sorry forever, I will. I will because I know you're worth it. I will do my best and I won't give us up. I will patiently wait until you can take me back, cupcake..."

Those were his exact words that night. I appreciate him being honest. I appreciate the fact that he admitted everything, even his confusion on his feelings.

I didn't want him to think that I didn't listen so before ending the call, I whispered him goodnight.

And that's how it started. He stopped sending me flowers and chocolates. Plus, I'm mostly out of the country anyways.

Instead, he'd send me poems or sweet messages via sms,  sometimes letters whenever I am in Korea. I don't respond but at least he knew I was reading them. I won't admit to him but I like them.

I was washing my hands before I head back for the send-off when my phone beeped.

A smile instantly shows on my face.

Drying my hands, I tapped on my phone and read his message. He usually sends me one after our concert.

"I ran out of words tonight and my hair's about to fall out because I keep on grabbin them. Taehyung hyung even threw his shoes on me because I'm being noisy." I laughed a little at his message.

"So, I'll just congratulate you because I know you did a good job. Have fun and enjoy the rest of your stay in Manila and I wish I can see you soon. Missing you - Kook"

A smile escaped my lips before keeping my phone in my back pocket. This time, I headed to my unnies with an even happier feeling.

Slowly Kookie, we'll take it slow this time...