Chapter Twenty-Three

Annalise hands me a tissue to blow my runny nose. The softness of the tissue does nothing to sooth the redness around my nose. I might as well use sandpaper at this rate, it's doing the same thing. Not only am I heartbroken, I'm a germy, infected bundle of sappy sickness. If I thought my life couldn't possibly get any worse, it has.

To keep myself from going completely bonkers, I decided to go for a late night run. I ended up running through the rain and catching a cold. Colds don't usually bother me, except for the fact, Svana has decided to send me on a practice tour to get into the swing of things.

I'm supposed to network, practice, and somewhat get a hold of traveling on the road concept. It's a great start and I appreciate the chance to practice before my big debut. I know that you can't achieve greatness without practice and hard work. Luck is a rather fickle thing, which is why I don't invest too much on luck.

Except, I can't sing with this cold plaguing my senses. My throat is scratchy and I keep needing to blow my nose. I can't particularly imagine those additions would make for a stunning performance to dazzle the crowd into wanting more. I want to make the right kind of impact – the one where people come back. Scaring people off is the worst thing I could do, especially if that involves boring them to death.

"You'll be fine, Lola," she says. Annalise throws a box of tissues into my bag and smiles at me.

"Okay, I think I can do this." I nod my head. I don't have a choice anyways. Everything is booked and I can't go back.

"You'll have a blast and I'll hold down the fort." Annalise looks around the apartment and nods her head. There isn't much Annalise can ruin. I've only got a few pot plants dotted around the place, easy enough to replace.

"Can you grab my toiletry bag?" I ask.

"Sure, no worries." Annalise twirls on her toes and wanders towards the bathroom. I continue hunting through the washing basket for clothes to pack. As I shift through, I find Kol's shirt tangled with a singlet.

My eyes wander towards the bin but I can't bring myself to doing it. I thought writing Kol a song would be my chance to set the record straight. I imagined Kol running through the doors to scoop me into his arms and confess his feelings. However, the door never opened and Kol never came running into the apartment.

I suppose it'll be nice to have a piece of Kol on tour and the shirt is comfortable to wear at night. I quickly fold the top and shove the bundle of material into my bag before Annalise returns with my toiletry bag.

I pack a few more things into my bag before I zip it close. I organise a carry on backpack and my handbag before placing it all by the front door with my bedding. Annalise and I have done a mini food shop with included boxed and microwavable food because we're going to be on the road for a while.

With my remaining time, I wiz around the apartment cleaning. They say a clean house / work space leads to a clean mind. If I'm going to have Annalise trekking through the apartment, I'd at least like to know it's a clean place. Sure, she wouldn't judge me otherwise, but I'd feel better.

"You don't have to do this," she repeats.

"I want to," I remind her.

"Let's drink." With a smile, Annalise walks to the kitchen to take out two cups.

"Ugh, I just did the dishes." I groan.

"Stop worrying about the mess," says Annalise. "I'll clean it later. Don't you have more important things to do?"

"Sure." I grab some of my belongings and walk out of the apartment. I leave Annalise inside to make a mess. Screw it. If she dirties it, she's cleaning it. Taking the steps by two, I walk outside the apartment and to her parked car.

I open the boot and shove my things inside. Since her car is small, it takes some adjusting until I've squished the two enormous bags inside. The boot clicks shut and I step back to walk upstairs.

As I go to enter the apartment, a young brunette girl approaches me on the sidewalk. I go to step out of her way until I realise she's looking directly at me. Strangers and new people make me feel awkward.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask.

"Hi, I'm -"

"Wait a second." I press my hand against my forehead. "You're Kol's sister, right?" I remember seeing them together. She's the mysterious girl I thought Kol was seeing. Ugh, that was an awkward and embarrassing situation. I wonder if he ever told her . . . Gosh, I hope not.

"Yeah." She nods her head.

"What's wrong?"

"You need to stay away from Kol." She shoves her hands in her pockets, then slumps her shoulders forwards.

"Or what?" I snap. "If Kol has something to say, he can do it himself."

"You don't get it," she replies. "Kol is finally getting the chance to mend things with our parents. He doesn't need someone like you ruining his chance again." I see the look of sadness swirling within her angry hazel eyes.

"What are you talking about? Again?" I don't know much about Kol, so how am I supposed to know I'm bad news?

"You don't know about her?" she questions, confusion plastered across her face.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Kol dropped out of school because his last girlfriend went psychotic and left him." I frown at what she's telling me. There has to be more to the story than what she's telling me. Things might have ended with Jason and I badly . . . wait, I'm a horrible example. Still, Kol doesn't seem like the type.

"What aren't you telling me?" I inquire.

Please don't think I'm some kind of fool. I'm not going to back down with some shallow explanation that doesn't tell me a thing. Natalie is completely right - Kol is worth fighting for. He needs to know I'm nothing like whatever happened in the past. I wouldn't ruin his life, I just wanted to make it better.

"She was brutally attacked one night by a stranger and had a huge meltdown from it. Terrible nightmares, therapy, investigations that lead to nothing. Kol blamed himself because he felt responsible for letting her walk to her dorm room. She was insistent, and this is what happened."

"But -" I'm cut off.

"She wasn't a nice person. She played with his emotions and led him to a world of hurt. I don't want to see Kol go through that again."

My heart drops with guilt. I understand what she was saying and I feel terribly awful now. I'd put Kol through even more hell because I didn't send a simple text message. I'd learnt that lesson enough now.

"I never intended to hurt Kol."

"Kol had me worried but now that he's home and returning to his studies, he can move on with his life."

"But?" I wanted to question a lot of things, but she doesn't give me the chance.

"If you love my brother, you'll let him go," she explains. "Let him live the life he deserves."

"Okay." I nod my head. I know Natalie said I should fight for the people I love, but when do I let that fight go, especially when it's better for them? Would I be selfish to keep going?

Kol's sister steps around me and walks down the sidewalk. Her unruly brown hair wafts in the wind as she rounds the street corner. I'm beginning to hate sidewalks, nothing good ever happens here.

The door beside me cracks open. I jump to the side and watch Annalise step outside. She wraps her jumper around her body, then screws her eyebrows up with confusion.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," she comments.

"Hm." I laugh. "I might have."

"Come on then." She prompts. "Let's grab the rest of your things. It's almost time to leave."

Annalise and I walk back up the stairs and retrieve the rest of my belongings. I lock the door before returning downstairs. We shovel the rest of the stuff into the back seat and climb inside.

We drive to the record label and find a small white bus parked outside the building. It's nothing too glamorous, but it'll make for an exciting road trip filled with amazing memories. Annalise parks across the street and helps me load my belongings onto the bus, which is fairly easy.

Since I'm first to arrive, I take the first pick of bunks. I chose the right one which is attached to a small seating area. I dump my stuff on the bed, then turn to hug Annalise.

"I'll see you soon." I grin.

"Make sure you have fun!" She smiles while poking me in the stomach.

"I'll try my best." I giggle.

Annalise waves as she gets off the bus and returns to her car. I sit down and watch Annalise drive away. Despite her car leaving, I sit by the window and watch the people passing along the street.

I could let Kol go, but I could never forget the time we spent together.