Chapter Five

The day's trickle away like raindrops on a window in stormy weather. I find myself looking at the silver clocking hanging against the dark blue wall. Each hand ticks past slower than before, just waiting for me to throw it out a window. I think it would enjoy the escape from this sad little place.

"Three more minutes, don't worry," says Natalie.

Jumping with fright, I look over my shoulder and half-smile. The great thing about working on the checkout is that I don't have to clean the coffee machine, I can walk out without much effort other than organising the money we've made for the day. These days breathing feels too hard.

"Three minutes too many," I grumble, rolling my eyes in the process.

I should be happy, I know I should be happy, but I'm not. I've tried writing new songs to suit Jason's expectations, but each song seems to be worse than the last. I'm close to giving up. I know I shouldn't, but it's a sweet temptress.

"What has gotten you into this mood?"

"Nothing," I dismiss. "I'm just tired." 

Talking about anything else would be better. In fact, I don't want to talk, I want to cuddle.

Grabbing my phone, I open the app and look through. I hover my finger over the order button. Doubt trickles through my mind. I can't order him again, I really can't. Before I have the chance to clock the screen, the device is pulled from my hand.

"I'll save you the trouble," says Natalie. "He'll be at your house ASAP." She grins from ear to ear.

"What did you do that for?" I frown.

"Oh girl, you know!" She shakes her head with a laugh.

"Thanks." I take my phone back and pocket it.

I grab my belongings from under the bench and head out. I slip on my jacket and tie my hair up to prevent the wind from blowing it across my face. Instead of racing home, I leisurely walk down the pathway as I tap on my phone.

When I get into the building and onto the floor of my apartment, I catch Kol outside my apartment getting ready to knock.

"Kol?" I all out.

"Hi, Lola." He spins around and smiles.

"Sorry, I sort of just finished work. The girl at the shop stole my phone and yeah..." I stop talking when I notice how irrelevant my words are.

"It's fine. I was in the neighbourhood." Of course, it didn't matter he was in the neighbourhood, but the thought of Kol with an old person brings a shiver to my spine.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" I ask.

"Sure." He nods his head.

I walk inside and lead him to where I keep the movies. I direct Kol to pick something while I run to the shower. I twirl around under the water as I was the soap over my skin. As soon as I step inside, I'm stepping out and re-dressing. By the time he's picked a movie, I'm dressed in my pyjamas and in the living room.

The living room is just big enough to fit a semi-decent couch with a medium sized television on the wall. Not the biggest space, but I make things work.

"What did you pick?" I ask.

"The Roommate?"

"Sure." I nod my head.

Taking the movie from Kol's hand, I walk towards the DVD player and pop the disk inside. I grab the control from the cabinet and take a seat on the couch. Kol sits next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder. I snuggle into his lap and hit play.

The television goes black and then the movie ads load on the screen. I take this moment of free time to approach Kol in a conversation. Keeping my eyes focused on the television screen, I start talking.

"Sorry about the other night," I say. "I shouldn't have said what I did. Your life isn't my business."

Kol's hand slides down my arm, which sends goose bumps crawling over my skin.

"I don't talk to my family," he replies.

"Oh." I shuffle around so I can look up into his eyes. Kol's eyes flicker away from my gaze as I try to search for the emotion pooling inside them.

"It's a tough subject I don't like to talk about."

"That's okay, Kol."

I turn back to the television screen just in time for the opening scene. Kol wraps his arm around my middle and I get comfortable resting on his lap. The movie progresses and I find myself getting sleeping. My eyelids become heavy which ends with my falling asleep on Kol's lap again.

In the morning I wake to a stiff neck and a pair of arms wrapped around me. Sitting up, I notice Kol asleep on the couch with me. Shoot. I seem to make the habit of falling sleep in Kol's arms. I should... Forget that, I rather enjoy being in Kol's arms.

My movement ruffles Kol from his sleep. He jumps away and shakes his head to rid himself of the sleep plaguing his body.

"Sorry, Lola, I don't usually do this."

"Don't worry." I shrug my shoulders. "I just hope I don't get charged for the extra time," I tease.

"You certainly won't." He laughs, relief coursing through his body.

"Breakfast then?" I offer with a smile.

"Thank you, Lola that would be excellent."

Heading into the kitchen, I look through the cupboards for something to feed Kol. I went food shopping the other day, but I didn't get much since I have to carry it back here.

"I could make you a fruit salad, pancakes or there's cereal," I offer.

"Fruit and pancakes?"

"I even have chocolate." I smile evilly.

"Chocolate and pancakes are my favourite," says Kol with relief.

"Same." I smile triumphantly.

Kol takes a seat at the bench while I grab out the ingredients and pass them over. Kol adds in the sugar, eggs, and flour, while I add in the milk to start mixing the batter. When the mixture is done, I set up the stove and start cooking. Before I flip the pancake over, I add in the chocolate and smile.

"They smell so good," moans Kol.

"They are going to be amazing."

When the pancakes are finished cooking, I hand a plate to Kol and we start eating. Kol smiles with satisfaction within the first bite which makes me grin with happiness.

Thankfully Kol helps me clean up the mess. I clean the stove and put away the dishes while Kol washes them without complaint. When we're finished, I give Kol the money for his service and we part ways. I won't deny that I miss Kol already despite the view of his fading back. He'd be back her again soon because he's become an addiction I don't want to kick.

Addictions aren't bad, depends on what it is. I can't see my addiction to Kol being bad... well, bad for my bank account.

Instead of moping around the house, I get to work. I charge through the apartment and get myself ready. I've got to visit the record label to lay down some tracks for Jason. I don't want to see him today but I know it's inevitable. Lesson learned there.

I dress in a pair of jeans along with a long sleeved black top and a white scarf before heading out the door. My bag of books is heavy on my shoulder but I trooper through it. I make my way down the street and towards the record label.

The same tall doors makes my stomach flip and hop crazily. Once upon a time my heart would threaten to leap out of my chest with excitement.

I pass the front office and head into the smaller studios on the ground floor. When I get inside I notice that Jason isn't behind the sound board but someone else is.

"Hi, I'm Lola. I'm supposed to meet Jason here this morning," I say.

"Jason is out for personal reasons so I'm filling in. I helped record his last demo, so I hope you don't mind the change," he says. "I'm Flynn by the way."

"No, thanks, I'm sure you'd be adequate." I smile.

"Great. Head in the booth and we'll get started." Nodding my head, I walk into the booth and set my stuff down. I grab the lyrics from my bag and hurry towards the microphone and stand.

"This is for the fifth track. It's a bit different and I haven't showed Jason yet."

"This intrigues me then," Flynn says over the speaker.

"I suppose that's a good thing."

I put the earphones on and Flynn starts the music. When the music builds up for the first verse, I start singing along to the music.

"I thought you were worth the hand written notes. But letter by letter your tearing me to pieces," I sing.

When I finish that section of the song, my mind goes blank and I stop singing. I feel so ridiculous for stuffing up the song in front of someone so high up.

"Sorry, I don't usually do this," I mumble.

"Don't worry, Lola," says Flynn. "I think the song was beautiful."

The door to the recording studio opens and Jason walks in. I watch him walk towards the sound board and talk with Flynn. The room is silent until my previous record plays over the speaker. Halfway through the song, Jason storms into the booth with an unimpressed expression attached to his face.

"Last chance, Lola. Come back when you have something worth recording."

His words tear my heart into shreds all over again. Those mended pieces now detachable parts hanging on the ground. I can't believe I thought I could make it.

"I'm sorry, Jason," I apologise.

"Go home, Lola." He slams the door shut and storms off.

Slipping the earphones off, I grab my belongings and head out of the booth. Before I can leave the studio, Flynn catches my attention.

"Jason doesn't know what he's missing. I think your music is amazing," he says.

"Thank you, Flynn, I really appreciate it." I half smile.

I leave the studio before I have the misfortune of running into Jason again. I go to order Kol to mend my broken heart, but my eye catches Annalise's contact name instead. I press the call button as I walk down the street.

"Hi Annalise, are you free tonight? I want to have some fun."

If someone told you that what you were doing wasn't good (for example, writing, dancing, horse riding etc), what would you do? Keep going to prove them wrong, or even ignore?