CREDITS TO: UTA NO PRINCE SAMA

CHAPTER 28

Ichinose Izumi.

His existence brought a mysteriously beautiful feeling called a father's love to his son in Ichinose Tokiya's life.

When he learned about how Haruka used to be pregnant with the late Tokiya's child, he could not help but wanting to experience by himself how did it feel to have one.

Even he did hesitate due to his young age, at the end, Tokiya wanted to see his son by himself.

The son who the late Tokiya never learned about.. Tokiya wanted to be a good father for him.

When Izumi was born, a sudden and cryptic happiness hit him. He loves everything about the baby, to the point of sacrificing his life was not a big deal as long as he could provide the best life for the baby.

Just when he dreamed about what should he do to spend his short time with Izumi...

"Tokiya, Izumi is your first child with Haruka which means he is also the child who was dead in her tummy because of the accident. Even for the currect universe, he was born when you were 22, he still will survive until you reach 29 which is when the late Tokiya dead. You and your son will die on the same date, Tokiya."

Cecil confessed to him something that he should be aware from the start.

Compared to him, Izumi had way smaller chance to live his life longer.

It broke his heart. What would Haruka feel if she lost both of them..

Again?

So he made up his mind. He must do something about his family.

Even though that would mean, it would be a 'bit' lost in his side, he did not care.

After all, he was already contented with his life after meeting with Haruka and his friends.

They gave him more reasons to live his life.

"I love you, daddy!" A soft touch from a pair of cute hands on his thighs dragged him back to reality. Tokiya's blue eyes met Izumi's before spontaneously forming a loving smile.

"I love you too, dear," Tokiya stroked Izumi's cheek, sending the child giggled.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat breakfast with daddy?"

"I want! I want!" Izumi jumped ecstaticly with the thought of eating breakfast with his father before he scanned around, searching for another person who loves him more than anything in this world. "Daddy, where is mummy?"

"Mummy have a work to do so daddy will take care of Izumi until afternoon, okay?"

"Yeayyy, at home with daddy!"

"Daddy, look here! Look here!" Izumi took out a big picture frame-sized cardboard from his bedroom after eating breakfast with Tokiya.

"What is it? Did you make it by yourself?" Tokiya could see a few sentences on the cardboard.

What happened next was heart-rending.

1. I want to be a good son for daddy and mommy.

2. I want to take care of daddy and mommy.

3. I want to work for daddy and mommy.

4. I want to sing like daddy. Daddy and mommy must come see me on stage.

5. I want to sing with daddy.

"Ohkura sensei gave us a homework about dream. A dream is what we want to do when we grow up, right, daddy?" the clueless boy ecstaticly explained his homework.

"Yeah, right," it took all for Tokiya to not feel obviously despondent in front of his son. "Have you.. have you done it?"

"No! There are still a lot of things that I want to do with mommy and daddy when I am big like you. There are a lot!" Izumi made a big circle with his short hands, making him looked much more adorable.

But I don't have enough time to see you growing up, dear.

"Let's see.." without having a single idea about how painful his father felt right now, Izumi took out a blue marker from his Doraemon pencil case before writing his sixth dream.

"Number six... I want... to see daddy.. and mommy smile everyday!" Izumi excitedly wrote on the cardboard.

God, how will my son look like if he grows up? I really want to see him, Tokiya clenched his fist, struggling to keep calm and smiling just like what his son dreamed of.

"Number seven... I want to.. make daddy and mommy happy... with 100 marks in exam.."

No. Tokiya absolutely could not take this anymore.

"Izumi," he indirectly stopped his son from blurting out his dreams that Tokiya knows, there is no way it will come true. He scooped the five-years-old boy up into his embrace before placing him on his lap.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" the oblivious little kid touched Tokiya's cheek worriedly.

"Izumi.. Let's.. Let's just stop putting the word 'daddy' in every sentence, okay?"

"Eh, why? I want to do everything with daddy... and mummy too!"

Because daddy cannot make your dreams come true, dear.

"Izumi, actually daddy has something to tell you but please, don't tell mummy. Promise?" He pushed out his pinky, which was immediately accepted by Izumi.

"Promise!" Both the small and much bigger little fingers intertwined, indicating a promise.

"Daddy cannot live here with Izumi and mummy anymore. Daddy.. daddy have to go."

"W..where?" the big eyes who always looked at Tokiya in admiration and love turned in despair and that was the thing that Tokiya wished he would never see from Izumi. "Where do you want to go, daddy?"

"To a very nice place.." he tried to rephrase what he wanted to say into simpler words yet much to his surprise, it managed to make Izumi crying instantly.

"To a very nice place? Do you mean.. heaven?" Apparently, Izumi did not need to be a genius to process Tokiya's words. This child knew more than he was expected. "But daddy... Ohkura sensei used to tell me that if someone goes to heaven, it means.." Izumi continued crying, making him hard to talk properly. "Daddy, please don't leave me. I love you, daddy. Mummy also loves daddy so much. Don't you love us, daddy? Why do you have to go? Why can't you take us together?"

Izumi hugged Tokiya tighter. He was too afraid to have the thought that his daddy would leave him one day.

He wanted his daddy to be there when he grew up like him. His daddy cannot go just like that!

"No! I cannot take you together," Tokiya hugged his precious son back. "Look at here."

He carefully took Izumi's cardboard before showing it to his still crying son. "Number one, you want to be a good son for mommy and me, right?"

The child just nodded while wiping his tears.

"Number three, you want to work for daddy and mommy, right?"

"I want."

"Number four, you want to sing like daddy, right?"

"I want," just when Tokiya thought that Izumi calmed down a bit, the child suddenly burst into tears again. "But... I want daddy to see me sing on stage! Daddy cannot go!"

"I will watch you, dear. I promise I will watch you."

"You promise?" now it was Izumi's turn to ask for Tokiya's pinky, indicating the second promise between both of them.

"I promise," Tokiya smiled in relief. "Another promise."

"What is it, daddy?"

"When I go there, please be a good boy for mommy, okay? Don't make mummy cry. Always make mummy smile. Promise?"

Don't make mummy cry. Don't be bad like daddy.

"Promise!"

"Please don't cry anymore," his thumb ran across those cute cheeks, attempting to stop Izumi from crying. "Now, let's sing together for mummy, okay?"

"Okay!"

Haruka was checking on Izumi who was still sleeping like a log on his bed when she received a visit from other STARISH members.

"Hai, I am coming," she responded to the ringing bell before swinging the door open.

"Nanami/Haru-chan, we are coming!" Otoya, Syo and Natsuki grinned while Ren and Masato smiled chummily at her.

"Come in, come in!" even she was muddled with their sudden visit, she did not really mind. As she closed the door, she could see a certain person who unlike his usual self, looked much more serious.

It was Cecil. He seemed struggling with something while others also looked as bemused as her.

"Where did you guys come from? I mean.. if you guys want to discuss about the song for the concert, Tokiya-kun is not here."

"We know," Cecil's expression remained serious which somehow scared every single soul in the house. "That's why we are here."

"Or rather, that's why you forced the rest of us to come here with you," Syo rolled his eyes. "Except this Kuppuru guy, the rest of us also don't know why the hell we are even at your house, Nanami."

Haruka could feel her heart beat increasing out of the blue. Something has definitely happened. She was positive with her hunch, especially when Cecil did not look playful as always.

"What's wrong, Cecil-san?"

"Haruka.." as he held her shoulders, she could feel his hands was trembling while his expression turned grief-stricken. "It's about Tokiya. I cannot stand to keep you guys from knowing the truth so while he is not here, I want to clarify something important. Something that you guys should know from the start."

Those eyes with different colors widened in puzzlement while they could feel their heart rates increased.

"Cesshi, don't tell me.." Ren stared dubiously at the Agnapolis prince. "Don't tell me you and Icchi have a secret together?"

Cecil nodded reluctantly. "Something that stressed him out."

"That explained why Ichinose looked crestfallen these days.." Masato responded.

"Hijirikawa-san, you noticed that too?" Haruka's question received a small nod from the blue head.

"Ne, Cecil... I don't know what exactly happened but..." the red eyes of Otoya looked gloomier. "Is that something to do with Tokiya's lifespan?"

"Yeah, minna-san. Forgive me but... instead of dying in next two years... the truth is, due to a certain circumstance, Tokiya has less than a month to live."

"Huh!?" some of the group members responded aggresively while the others sized up their eyes in horror.

"Less than a month?" Otoya's red orbs started to glisten with tears while Natsuki just stared blankly at Cecil, unable to mutter even a word.

"Yes.. And just so you know, it is not only me but our president and Haruka's obachan also already knew the fact. Tokiya told them a long time ago.."

"You dumbass! Why did you just tell us now!?" Syo shouted in rage. "We returned to our past so that we can change what we had regretted and Nanami can relish more time together with Tokiya! But what the hell did you do, Cecil!? Why, you.."

"Do you think I also want this frigging thing to happen!? Do you think I also want to see my friend's life turned shitty!? Not in seven hells I would make my friend die without a reason!" For the first time in everyone's life, Cecil snapped furiously. It really showed that he was stressed out with this particular dilemma.

"Cecil-san..." it broke the prince's heart to see how Haruka was struggling to accept the most devastating truth in her life. His expression gradually turned softer.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Haruka grabbed Cecil's arms with her shivered hands. "How's that even possible!? He should have two years left, Cecil-san! How can.."

"Because he gave his life to Izumi," his simple answer sent the others shocked."Haruka, your first child with the late Tokiya was the baby who was dead in your tummy, remember? The baby is Izumi. Izumi's real life span was only three weeks and when Tokiya learned about it, he told me that he would do anything so that you would not suffer again. He also wanted his child to live longer but I tell you what. Even I managed to use magic to transfer his two-years life span to Izumi but we still do not know how long will Izumi live. I can only guarantee that his life span will be longer than 30 years."

"When did he even consider this thing?" Ren asked, struggling to calm down even the whole situation itself was absurd and unacceptable.

"Back then, when we were still at school or to be specific, when he and I were in detention," Cecil looked around and expectedly, his friends still could not accept the truth. "He said, it broke his heart to see Haruka struggled with both her husband and unborn child's death. He wants to give what Haruka cannot achieve on that day."

"Tokiya-kun..." when Haruka felt that her love to the said guy grew stronger, she also felt the urge to resent him. "But why... why didn't he tell me anything? Why he.."

"Is it not obvious, Haruka?" Cecil gave her a soft smile. "You know how stubborn and steadfast he is right? As long as he thinks that what he did is the right thing, he will never let anyone to stop him. Not even you because he loves you so much, Haruka."

Haruka's tears dropped again while the others..

They basically had the same thought in their minds.

The fact that until now, Haruka still chose Tokiya out of them is the best decision ever because...

The guy treasures Haruka more than his own life.

"And Haruka... I am sorry but I am afraid I have to be harsh with you."

"What do you mean, Cecil-san?"

The prince sighed heavily as he put his hands on the composer's shoulders. "Haruka, I understand your feeling. You are traumatized with the though that Tokiya will leave you again but I beg you.." all of them were devastated to see how despondent Cecil looked. "Please let him go, Haruka. Please let Tokiya leave us in peace. We are just human beings. It is impossible for us to stop him from leaving us. Please don't torture him again. Because of us.. Tokiya has suffered all by himself. All this time, we unconsciously burdened him to fulfill our expectation just because we could not move on from the way the late Tokiya left us. Your so-called atonement, Haruka.. Actually made Tokiya believed that no matter what he did, he could never satisfy you. Why? Because you constantly and unconsciously pressured him with your love, saying that you don't want him to leave you."

Haruka was gobsmacked to talk because she was mentally cursing herself to be so oblivious about what Tokiya felt.

All this time, she was too selfish. All she cared was her feeling and her so-called 'start-over with Tokiya' mission.

When in fact, she should accept that she would lose Tokiya again.

Tokiya knelt down, letting his long and slender fingers felt the sensation of the grave. That was his habit when he was depressed with his work as Hayato.

But recently, he would come to Ichinose Akira's grave when he felt heartbroken, just from the thought of he would leave everything and everyone that were irreplaceable in his life.

He needed a comfort from his late father even he could not meet the old man's blue eyes anymore.

"Konbanwa, otosan.." he smiled bitterly as his eyes stared down at the grave. "How do you do? Well, for me, it feels.. it feels like a drama everyday. I am happy but I am sad. I am sad but I am happy. My life has been like a chronic disease patient with zero cure, counting for my death. The closer I get with the day, the more I feel that I don't want to leave my family, my friends... But, at least, I can meet you there.. Soon enough, we will meet, otousan.."

"This morning, I spent time with my Izumi. He is so cute, otousan. He is smart and like everybody said, he admires me the most. He wants to be like me when he grows up, not to mention... he always asked me, 'daddy, when I can be tall like you? When can I be as handsome as you?' which reminded me that.. that were some questions that I used to ask you back then when I was small. I asked you that because I thought you are the most amazing guy that I have ever met. You went all through to support me, to be a good father for me. You were so hardworking to the point of it boosted me to be a good person like you too. And now, you see me, right? These blue eyes.. This blue hair.. I resembled you so much. So much that it might be the reason why oka.. I mean.. Megumi-san hates me. But, it's okay. I don't like her anyway."

"Speaking about Izumi, this morning, he.. He.." Tokiya found himself hard to speak as the list of Izumi's dreams crossed his mind. "His teacher gave a homework which required him to list down his dream and... basically, all his dreams are about me and Haruka. He wants to give a better life for his parents but.. there is no way he can make it because I will leave him soon. He only managed to fulfill his dream with Haruka."

"I really want to continue bringing him up with Haruka. He is our dream together so.. to think that Haruka will raise our son alone is.. unacceptable. I want to be there beside her. I want to smile proudly, together with her.. I want to comfort Izumi together with Haruka if our son have a hard time.."

"Maybe, from the start, I should not start anything with Haruka. You know what, otousan? The woman that I love is so amazing. She has other six guys who used to love her because of her beautiful heart.. She has became the source of light for seven of us. Not only that, she is also a very popular composer. Everyone admires her talent and I guess.. sooner or later, she will meet someone who can easily replace me."

The thought of Haruka eventually met her happiness with another guy made him smiling. He has no longer has this kind of selfish side which made him believing that Haruka is only his.

"Maybe I should not love her to begin with, otousan.." as he muttered the last word, he did not realize there were many foot steps right behind him until...

"What the hell are you on about, Tokiya? Nanami is yours. Nobody can change that," Syo's fake scold bewildered Tokiya, sending the blue head turned his head nervously. Not to mention, the so-called toughest guy in STARISH suddenly started crying.

"You guys.. why are you guys doing here?"

"To see you, Icchi.." Ren put a plastic smile that Tokiya was so accustomed to. The smile did not really show that the ex-playboy was happy.

"Why?"

"Why didn't you tell us about you, sacrificing your life for Izumi-chan, Tokiya-kun?" rather than being answered, Tokiya was bombarded with questions and scolds, starting from Natsuki.

"We are friends, right, Ichinose? Friends are supposed to know your pain and help you through thick and thin. I am so disappointed with you," Masato's voice sounded full of frustration.

"Tokiya, you shitty dumbass! How dare you keep the most important secret from us!?"

Tokiya gasped in horror.

"Otoya, where did you learn to swear like that?" out of those mental and emotional attacks, Tokiya decided to react to Otoya's curse, rather dramatically.

"From you because you always made our blood boiled with your stupid plans," for the first time in everyone's life, Otoya looked insanely angry and no longer putting his usual angelic and genki expression. Finally his fierce color code matched his personality. He grabbed the colar of Tokiya's sweater while for others, instead of stopping the red head, they just let Otoya did whatever he pleased because Tokiya obviously deserved it."Not to mention that you always followed your own pace. You planned with Syo to bring down Satsuki. You planned by yourself to rebel against the president, you helped Natsuki and Tomo-chan made up in your own way and now you.."

"Otoya.." Tokiya felt his heart sinking as his bestfriend cried all of sudden.

"You will leave us soon but we learned about that just now..." the red head suddenly got even angrier. "You selfish bastard!"

"Otoya.."

"I am sorry, Tokiya. I cannot keep becoming your accomplice anymore. They have the rights to know the truth. I told you, it's better if we told them from the start but you were so obstinate that I cannot stand with it anymore. I think it's the time for me to spill the beans," Cecil justified, receiving a single nod from the blue head.

"That's very nice of you, Aijima-san. Thank you so much for your help all this time," instead of scolding Cecil like he always did everytime the A from STARISH picked a fight with him, Tokiya formed a warm smile before diverting his attention to the others. "Minnasan, I am sorry."

Tokiya never thought that his simple apology was like a stab on each of his friend and Haruka who just stood silently without even letting out any single comment to her husband.

Instead, she just looked down to the ground with mixed feelings.

It was not Tokiya who should apologize. It should be us, all of them except Tokiya had this kind of thought before Syo blurting out;

"It should be us, Tokiya. We are the one who should apologize for everything we have done to you," the light blue orbs trembled, indicating that he was going to cry again.

"It's all thanks to you, Tokiya-kun. We've made this far in our life, in our career, in our love life because of you. I would not look at Tomo-chan the same way if it is not because of you," Natsuki convinced.

"I don't think you guys need to apologize. In fact, I could not be thankful enough. I would not get such awesome friends like you guys when I used to believe that I would be forever alone and I would not get such nice family members like Haruka and Izumi. I also could plan everything that I want to achieve as long as I am still alive. I think it's a win-win situation."

His remark just made the guys in STARISH turned speechless.

"Nanami?" Otoya put a puzzled face as out of the blue, Haruka slowly approached Tokiya.

A creepily blank face. That was enough to describe her expression.

Logically, she would get angry with him. But the most important matter was, how would she express her anger? Which part of his secret pushed her buttons the most? Tokiya could not even reckon anymore.

"Come here. I want to see your father," she grabbed his hand before dragging him along to the front side of Akira's grave.

She inhaled nervously while the rest of the souls there stayed in perplexity.

"Konbanwa, otousan. Haruka desu. I believe you have seen everything that your son did, right? What? You also think that Tokiya is triple S? What is triple S? Oh, they are stubborn, selfish and stupid? Yeah, yeah, you are absolutely right. You are amazing, otousan! Haha."

"That's not nice, Haruka," Tokiya's hurt comment gained himself laughter from his friends. Obviously, they all agreed with Haruka.

"You deserved that," Cecil muttered in satisfaction but gained himself a scowl from Tokiya.

"Yeah, Cecil-san is right. I believe, if otousan is still alive, he will smack you with a paper fan for being this stupid."

Tokiya just bit his lips in dissatisfaction but of course, he could not agree more with Haruka.

"Actually, otousan.. apart from saying that this beloved son of yours is extremely triple S..." Haruka squeezed Tokiya's much bigger hand in her grab. "I am here to ask you to be our witness."

"Eh? What witness?" when he received no answers from Haruka, Tokiya turned to his friends but they immediately avoided his eyes and ignored him.

She suddenly faced him with such a loving smile that instantly melted Tokiya's heart.

"Tokiya-kun..." she took a deep breath as her golden eyes never left his. "No matter how short the time that you will spend with me after this, it doesn't matter anymore. Be officially yours and have your surname is one of my life goals..." Tokiya could feel his blue eyes suddenly turned watery as he could guess the direction of this confession.

"I am glad to be yours. I am proud of myself because I chose a very great guy who is not only devoted to me but being a great father to my child. Thank you so much, Tokiya-kun. Thank you for being my source of light. Thank you for everything."

"Haruka.." he really wanted her to stop being melodramatic because apart from he himself was this close to shed tears, he found it cheesy to act such in front of his friends.

But no words come out. It was just stuck in his throat.

"I love you, Tokiya-kun. You have been my inspiration, my first love, my first boyfriend and my husband... So.." she squeezed his cold hand as she stared lovingly into his glistened eyes. "Will you be my last love, Ichinose Tokiya?"

Tokiya could barely hear cheers coming from his friends because to say that he was so happy with the proposal was understatement.

In fact, as he heard the proposal, a few drop of tears rolled down his fair-skinned cheeks. He continued to stare at her, so lost to even form a proper answer that the only line that he could mutter was....

"I am sorry, Haruka.. I am so sorry.." his eyes locked on the ground. He felt ashamed to look straight into the sincere eyes of Haruka.

He was sorry for making her suffered. He was sorry for being selfish.

"Oi, Tokiya! What are you sorry for? Say 'I will' you idiot!" Syo shouted impatiently.

"What? Tokiya is crying?" Otoya wiped his eyes as if his eyesight just deceived him temporarily.

"Ichinose, come on! Since when you become this sissy? Crying is not your thing, you know? Stop embarrassing me as your twin!" Masato completely lost his calmness.

"Come on, Tokiya-kun! Say 'I will'!" Natsuki acted more like a cheerleader for Tokiya.

But their irritating encouragements just fall on deaf ears. Instead, Tokiya kept crying, too ashamed to meet eyes with his wife.

"Tokiya-kun, you are such a crybaby," Haruka wrapped her tiny arms around his much bigger body while chuckling. "You are supposed to say 'I will' when you get a proposal, you silly."

"Whose fault do you think it was?" he slightly protested, realizing that she had fun teasing him."And just so you know, I only cried twice when you are around."

"Yeah, yeah.."

Tokiya continued to bawl his eyes out in her arms.

Congratulations, Tokiya. You've got yourself such an amazing wife. Now, stop crying. Look who's coming.

Tokiya lifted his head up as he somehow could hear his father's voice in his head. He gasped as his eyes served him with the sight of a beautiful woman, with a sad face, approached Akira's grave.

"Megumi-san?"