The rest of the morning Tyler spent putting together everything he knew about rabid wolves.  He had started on a single page, but soon decided to grab hold of some of the A1 sized sheets and marker pens his dad kept around for when he was training the newer wolves.  He was busy in their conference room when Rudi came to look him up.

At first Rudi just stood in the doorway observing Tyler.  He spent a good five minutes looking at the young man move up and down, constantly adding something on one of the sheets of paper.  While Tyler waited for him to speak he started reading some of the bits and pieces he had jotted down.  On some pages he saw small alphabetical references that he could not figure out.

“What’s up with the ‘A3ii’ annotation?”

Tyler frowned at him as he stood up from his half crouch where he was writing.  “What?”

Rudi pointed at the side note he was wondering about.

“Oh, that.  That is a reference to the notes in group A, row three, page ii.”

“Group A?”

Looking up at his mornings work, Tyler realized that none of it would make much sense.  He came to stand next to Rudi as he quickly explained, using his hand to indicate.  “This is group A, B and C.  They all have rows, one two three and so on.  Then the rows all have their separate pages, i, ii, iii, iv and so on.”

It was silent as Tyler carried on writing on the wall as Rudi continued looking at him; not really paying much attention to what was being written; he paid closer attention to Tyler; and when Tyler stood back to glance at something he had written, he spoke.

“Why now?”

For a brief moment Tyler thought about playing dumb, but as soon as he considered it, he rejected that thought.  If Rudi was perceptive enough to realize what he thought he suspected, he would be smart enough to know if he was evading Rudi’s question.  Tyler turned to stare at Rudi, and their eyes remained locked for a long time before Tyler said anything.

“Have you ever looked up at the sky at night?”

Rudi thought carefully before answering, and even though he took his time, he could not come up with any reason for why Tyler would ask that.  “Yes; I used to do that quite often with Dinah when we were younger.”

Tyler nodded as he sent a token of a smile at Rudi.  “I don’t think my mate’s father would approve if I kept his daughter up late at nights.”

Rudi scowled at him playfully.  “Not just yet if you don’t mind.”

The silence stretched a while before Tyler started explaining to Rudi.  “The way I ‘hear’ the other wolves out there, the ones that do not belong to our pack; their … ‘alive’ sounds are like the stars in my mind.  Only, they are floating in water.  So try to imagine a bunch of stars in a huge fish tank.  Most of the times the stars are happy and content, and they burn brightly.  When something bad happens, it is like a drop of ink that clouds out their bright lights.  The bad thing about this is that it isn’t just one or two stars that are affected; it is a whole cluster of stars.”  Tyler sighed unhappily as he shoved his hair out of his face.  “Do you have any idea what it is like to suddenly have your beautiful fish tank full of ink spots?  Full of the saddest and scariest ‘alive’ sounds?”

Tyler’s one hand touched one of the sheets stuck on the wall as he talked as if he was talking to himself.  “I sometimes imagine that it must be what hell would sound like; only worse I suppose.”

Rudi listened to Tyler speak and he couldn’t stop a shiver running down his spine; and when Tyler turned to face him, he shivered again at the haunted look in Tyler’s eyes.

“I can not keep sane and not do anything about it anymore Rudi.  I have kept myself from changing because I knew that if I did, the rest of the pack would start expecting me to prepare to take over from my dad.  And they were preparing to not like it one bit.  They are terrified of me and for the life of me I do not know what I did to make them act that way.  I know that me hearing things and sensing their emotional states must have been a trifle upsetting; but an alpha knowing the emotional state of his pack should not be a bad thing?”

“No,” Rudi moved to place his hand on the young man’s shoulder.  “It should not.  Except for the fact that they might feel that you were much too young for that.  They had never seen something like that before, and it scared the living daylight out of them.”

Tyler winced as the though back at the incident that had for all intent and purpose exposed his ‘talent’ to the rest of the pack.  It had been during the aftermath of the young shifter female running through their territory shortly after Mandy was born that they had caught on and ever since then things had not been the same.

“But they are werewolves for crying out loud!  They should not be scared of anything!”

“They are still human too.  And even shifters are afraid of things that might hurt the people we love.  How did you feel about the rabid wolf when he was fighting your dad?  How do you feel when you think of Mandy running through the woods one day all by herself?”  Rudi shook his head at Tyler.  “As long as we have people we care about, we are always going to be afraid.  You should just accept that fact as a part of life right now and save yourself a bunch of trouble and worries in the future.”

Throwing his hands in the air Tyler huffed.  “But that is exactly what I am talking about!  If they really cared so much, they should be more than willing to accept who I am.  I will be in a much better position to protect them than anybody else!”

“They know!  Believe me, they know.”

“Then why are they acting like a bunch of idiots?”

“Because they are human too.”  When Rudi could see from Tyler’s face that he did not understand, he explained.  “They might know that you are the best choice to lead them on one level.  But you have to understand that we are a bit more complicated than that.  Our human natures value privacy as one of its most sacred rights, and your ‘hearing’ them has them all antsy.”

Grimacing at Rudi Tyler added a quick note to one of the many pages stuck to the wall.  “Well, I am going to try and see what I can do about this,” he tapped against the page; “my dad and Sean will have to worry about the pack now.  I have bigger problems to solve now.”

Rudi did not leave after their conversation ended and after a while Tyler noticed he was still there.  “Is there something else on your mind?”

Tyler’s eyes met Rudi’s and the two men tried to read the other for a while.

“Are you going to tell her?”  Rudi broke the silence, but not the eye contact.

“About …?”

“About you leaving and being her mate?”

His shoulders slumped as his mind turned towards the young girl that already captured so much of his heart.  How was he going to handle it when he actually started falling in love with her?  “Yes.  And no.”  Tyler went to sit down in one of the many chairs.  “We will be meeting later at our tree.  She has to tell me how her assignment went down.  I will be telling her then, before she hears it at the meeting.  I owe her that much.”  Tyler turned his gaze to Rudi.  “And I thought you did not want her to know that she is ‘mine’ yet?”

“I used to think so too.  But if you think that telling her she is ‘yours’, may lessen the blow; you have my permission to tell her.”

“Thanks?”  There was no way Tyler could hide the surprise he felt.  This was the very last thing he had expected from Rudi.  On the other hand; if it did help Mandy accept the fact that he was leaving, it could be better for her.  Or it may make things worse.

“I really don’t know when to tell her.  If I tell her too soon, it may make things weird; on the other hand, if I take too long to tell her, she might end up so cross with me that she never wants to talk to me again.  I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

‘You seem to be doing just fine at the moment.”

‘That is because she is so easy to be with.  She doesn’t want me to be something else; she is happy with who I am.  Plain and simple.  No strings and no expectations.”  With a goofy grin on his face he leant back into the chair.  “I can relax when I am with her; be myself.”

Rudi nodded as he shifted his weight, preparing to leave.  “Whatever you decide on this, I will be OK with it.”

“Thanks.  I appreciate that.”

‘Just don’t hurt her; that is all I ask.”

“There is no chance of that ever happening, I promise.”

“Be careful with what you say; things have a way of getting out of hand and sometimes we end up hurting the ones we love without intention.”

“Then I will do my best to avoid situations like that.”

“You are already in such a situation!”  Rudi growled out his words in frustration.  Thinking about his little girl hurting upset him.

“Then I will do my best not to cause her too much pain if there is no other alternative.”

Defeated, Rudi merely nodded his head as he left; a worried Tyler staying behind to struggle through his own internal battles.  After staring at the wall for what felt like hours without getting any further, he sighed and went back home to see if he could scrounge some picnic fare.  He was going to give Mandy a treat today.

Lengthening his stride, he hurried to the kitchen and ransacked the fridge for all her favorite goodies; then he raided the pantry.  Lastly he grabbed a blanket and a book of word puzzles that she loved so much.  With everything crammed into a basket, he set of to ‘their’ tree.

It did not take that long considering that the darn tree was just out of sight of the small village, but when they had started spending time together, Dinah had been stressed, so he had shown her and Rudi where the tree was that he would take Mandy to so that they would always know where they were.

Tyler shook out the blanket and lay down on it as he watched specks of clouds drift by the gaps in the tree tops.  As soon as he heard the van entering their small village, he got up to fetch Mandy.

Her small body barreled into him when she saw him.  Taking her bag he swung it over his shoulders.  “Hey there squirt.  Let’s drop this off at your place and let your mom know we are going to be at the tree.  Do you have a lot of homework?”

“Nah.  Only the kids who didn’t have their English assignments ready for today have to write an essay on why it is important to do homework.  The rest of us got off easy.”

They dropped of her schoolbag and told Dinah that they would be at their tree for most of the afternoon.  When Dinah wanted to feed them first, Tyler shook his head at her and she smiled at him in understanding; then burst out laughing when the little girl practically dragged Tyler out of the house.

Tyler fed her first and was amazed all over that she could put away that much food.  As he had expected she gave him a running commentary of her day at school.  Mandy almost repeated word for word what the other kids had to say during their turns to ‘show and tell’.  Happy to simply sit and listen to her, he gave her his undivided attention as she chatted away.

“… and that was just soooo boring.  I mean, honestly; why talk about worms when there are so many cooler insects and stuff to talk about?”

“I dunno; maybe he thought all the girls would be grossed out?”

Mandy laughed; the sound tinkling in his head.  “There were too.  It was so funny.  Even Miss Webber made a funny face when he showed her how he puts the worm in his mouth.”  She giggled slyly.  “I was hoping the worm would poop in his mouth; but it didn’t.”

Choking back his laughter he tried to frown at her.  “That is not a nice thing to wish for to happen.”

Mandy did nothing but snort.  “He deserves that; he is such a doofus.”

Remarkably; she quieted down a bit after they started working through the word puzzle book.  It kept them busy for at least half an hour before she looked up at him and frowned.  “What is it?”

‘What’s what?”  He asked her back.

“You missed three words already.  What’s wrong?”

For the first time Tyler wished that there wasn’t such a huge gap in their ages.  It would have been so much easier to explain it to her then.  And he still didn’t know if he should tell her that she was his mate or not.

“I have something to tell you.”

Mandy put the pencil down and looked up at him with her big eyes, her bright hazel eyes searching his as she sat closer to him.

“I am not going to like it, am I?”  She asked softly as he drew her closer to him.

“I hope that you will understand why, rather than liking or disliking it.”

“Tell me then.”

Tyler automatically reached out and with his finger, smoothed out the frown on her face.

“In about two weeks, I will be leaving for a while.  Not long.  Just little bits at a time.” 

“Why?  Where will you be going?”

“All over.  Did you hear about the strange wolf that came here yesterday?”  He waited for her to nod before he carried on.  “Did you know that the wolf was sick?”

Mandy shook her head, her eyes growing big.  “I thought wolves couldn’t get sick; that is what my daddy said.”

“Most of the times wolves can not get sick.”  Tyler spoke gently, not wanting to break her trust in her father.  “But sometimes; only sometimes, they get very sick and we can do nothing for them.”

Mandy thought about what he said and he watched her carefully.  When it became apparent that she was not too happy, he had to ask.

“What is bothering you?”

“When they get sick, is it bad?”

Her voice trembled and in no more than a heartbeat, he had her on his lap, his arms securely wrapped around her small frame.

“Yes, it is bad.”

“Not just for the sick wolf?”

“No; not just for the sick wolf.  If that wolf bites any body else, even a human; they will get what he has got and they will get very, very sick.”

“But why must you go away?”

He smiled down at her petulant face before answering.  “I will not get sick if one of them bites me; so I am going to try to help the other packs who have problems with sick wolves.”

“No!”  Mandy flung her arms around his neck, in the process nearly cutting off his air supply.  “What if you are wrong and you do get sick?”  She pulled back to look at him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.  “What will I do without you?”

“I will not get sick, the wolf from yesterday bit me, and I am fine; see?  I will be OK, I promise.”  As he spoke, he thought about what Rudi had said about making promises he might not be able to keep.  “At least I will try very hard not to be bitten again; OK?  But squirt honey, I have to try and help them; you do you understand that, don’t you?”

Mandy did not want to accept that Tyler would be leaving and that he might get sick, very sick.  Stubbornly she shook her head.  “Isn’t there anyone else who can do this?  What if you go away so long that you forget about me?”

For a long time Tyler hesitated, the words on the tips of his tongue.  The only thing stopping him from telling her she was his mate and that he would never be able to forget her was his concern that it would change the way she saw him.  That it would make things uncomfortable between them.  Eventually he shook his head.  He could not bear to lose that now; he could not live with himself if he would not be able to come home to her.

“Squirt, I could never forget you.  Never ever never!”

Gently rocking her, he held her while she quietly sobbed.  When she stopped crying, he took one of the serviettes and dried her face.

As was her habit, she demanded he tell her all the important things again, just to make sure she heard right.  As soon as he mentioned that the rabid wolf had bitten him, she looked at him curiously.

“Where did he bite you?”

Tyler wriggled his shoulder that had been wounded, and when she wanted to see, he took off his shirt to show her.

“But there is no mark.”  She teased him with a small smile.  “Are you sure this is the right shoulder?”

“Yes it is.”  Tyler said as he messed up her hair.

Suddenly she sat up straight.  “Tyler, I haven’t seen your wolf yet!”

“Do you want too?”

“Yes!”

Grinning at her he ripped his shoes off and sent his socks flying through the air in separate directions.  It made her laugh and he wished he was a centipede with tons of feet so that she would keep on laughing like that for longer.  Down to his pants, he went to stand behind the tree so that he could strip completely.

Once he was undressed, he shifted and stepped out from behind the tree and walked slowly to where she was standing.

 “Wow!  Ty!  You are humongous!”

Tyler rolled his eyes at her and bumped her gently until she fell over.  Immediately she jumped up and he nudged her again.  He kept on bumping her until she fell over, over and over again.  Until she bumped him.  Playing along, Tyler pitched over and fell onto his side, a giggling Mandy falling on top of him.  For the rest of the afternoon the fooled around and the most serious topic top come up, was to discuss the merits of … bubblegum!