He felt numb.  Throughout most of the day he felt nothing from her.  There was however, nothing to keep him from feeling the worry her parents felt.  And that worried him, because as the day got older, their worried increased proportionally.  It was only late afternoon when she was utterly exhausted that she fell into a fitful sleep and the wall she built round her lowered.

Tyler sucked in his breath through his teeth sharply as he felt the feelings she was experiencing whiplash through him.  Mandy had never been this absolutely furious before, never.  But that was not the worst.  Her anger he could and was prepared to bear and face; but the pain and betrayal she felt tore him to shreds.

His mind struggled to surface through the intensity of her emotions and when he found himself, he was running to her.

Rudi heard the door slam open and left his daughter’s room to stop him.  Knowing he was physically unable to stop Tyler from going to her, he did the only thing he could do.  Not that he wanted to hurt Tyler, he just didn’t want to cause any further pain to his little baby girl.

“Tyler don’t!  She does not want to see you right now.”

Tyler scrubbed at his face with his hands.  “She is hurting Rudi,” he took a labored breath as he tried to calm down.  “I never wanted things to happen like this.”

“I know Tyler, I know.”  Rudi put his hand on Tyler’s shoulder and led him back to the kitchen.  “But right now, the best thing you can do is to give her some time to work through this; OK?”

“But I should …”

“You do not do anything until she is ready and willing to listen to you!”  Rudi said fiercely as he stuck his face so close to Tyler’s that they were almost touching.  Taking a firm reign on his control, he breathed deeply and relaxed back into his chair.  “If you tried seeing her now, you will only make things worse, you know that; right?”

Tyler slumped into his chair.  “But I did this!  I should fix it for her.”

“Well you can’t.  Not yet.  Give her some time to come to grips with things.  Dinah thinks that she might be acting so irrationally because of all the hormones messing with her as well.”

Tyler snorted at that, and that made him smile when he thought of what Mandy would have to say about her mother thinking she was ‘hormonal’.  She had hysterics when her older sisters went through that and they were all ‘way out of control’ as Mandy used to put it.

“Mandy would hate that.”  He said with a slight smile.  The smile on his face faded when he heard Mandy starting to wake up again.

“Can I come over tomorrow morning?”  His eyes nervously flickered to the passage leading to the inside of the house as he got up to leave.

“That would probably be best.”  Rudi agreed as he stood up and walked with Tyler to the door.

Before Tyler reached to door, he felt Mandy waken up properly as a gut wrenching pain shot through her.  Clenching his teeth together he spoke to Rudi.  “Go to her!”

It took everything Tyler had not to rush into her room and take her in his arms and to never let her go again.  But he forced his feet to keep on moving, and by the time he reached his home, Mandy had built up the wall against him all over again and he could feel nothing from her at all.

Tyler decided he would rather feel her pain than not feel anything from her.  It felt too much like she was cutting him out of her life when she did that; hell, he did not even know she could do that.  Or maybe that was something she had been able to do all along but never felt the need to do?

As soon as he walked into the house, Cassy called out to him.  At first he debated ignoring her and just going up to his room; but he knew he would just end up in trouble.  No matter how much reverence he was getting out there; in this house, he was simply one of the kids.  And if he ignored his mother, she would tan his hide, or something like that.

With a sight he turned towards the kitchen.  His dad, mom, Sean, Patricia and Ellie were all sitting around the table waiting for him.

“Well?”  Cassy asked after he sat down.

“She knows she is my mate.”  Tyler said with a soft sigh as he tried to keep the despair from his voice.

Alex winced as he took in his son’s condition and his heart went out to him.

“I take it she is not as pleased as you had hoped she would be?”  Sean asked as he passed his brother the plate with cookies as Patricia got up to make an extra cup of coffee.

Shaking his head Tyler took one of the cookies and nibbled on it before answering.  “She is angry.  Very angry.”  He sighed.  “Very, very angry.  And hurt that I had not told her before now.”

Ellie folded her arms over her chest.  “I told you so.  If I was her I would be pissed.”

“Ellie!  Watch your language girl!”

She shot her mother an apologetic look.  “He still should have told her a long time ago!”

Alex sent a glare to his daughter that would have any normal, sane person running for the hills; but his children never claimed to be sane.

“Well, he should’ve.”  Ellie insisted stubbornly.

Tyler shot up and sent the chair he was sitting on flying through the air.  “I get it!  OK?!”  He shouted just before stomping out of the kitchen.

It was quiet in the kitchen as four pair of eyes turned to Ellie as she dropped her head onto the table and she did not have to see to know that they were all seriously mad at her for giving Tyler such a hard time.  “I’m sorry.”  She mumbled with her face still in the table.

“It is not us you have to apologize to young lady.”  Alex said and she could literally hear the disapproval dripping in his voice.

‘I know.”

With a sigh Ellie got up from her chair and walked up the stairs slowly.  When she reached his door, she raised her hand to knock, but his voice stopped her.

“Come to rub it in some more?”

“No.”  With the arrogant confidence of a younger sister, she opened the door and closed it behind her softly and walked over to where he was sitting on the floor with his head against the bed and joined him.

“I am sorry I was so mean.”  Ellie dropped her head against his shoulder, “I know you must be hurting too and you don’t need anybody else to make it worse for you.  Please forgive me?”

Tyler said nothing as he raised his arm and allowed Ellie to worm herself closer to him.  When she had settled down, he rubbed his chin over her head.

“You were right though, I should have told her.  I should have told her long ago.  But I just didn’t know how and if I had any idea she would feel this way, I …” He shook his head.

“You know you have to go and apologize to her, don’t you?”  Ellie asked after a moment of silence between them.

“She doesn’t want to see me right now.”

Ellie looked up at the bitterness in his tone.  “It doesn’t matter.  It is the right thing to do.”  She hugged his side tightly.  “All you have to do is apologize and leave.  Believe me.  If you don’t do that, it will make things a lot harder later on when she decides to let you explain to her why you did what you did.”

“When did you become so clever?”  Tyler asked her with a small smile.

“Since I started listening to my ever so clever oldest brother.”

Hugging her wit arm Tyler laughed softly.  “Suck-up.”

With her mouth wide open is shock she glared at him.  “I thought he was clever, no I am not so sure anymore.”

“That’s it!”  Tyler growled at her playfully.  “Out!”

Ellie jumped up fast and ran off to the door, but she was not quite fast enough to miss the slap on her rump as she ran away laughing.

Swallowing loudly, Tyler got up off of the floor and left his home to go and see Mandy.  When he reached her house, she and her family were having dinner.  Tyler gave the door a rap with his knuckles and opened the door straight away.  His eyes were drawn to her immediately and he felt his heart break when he saw how tired she looked.  As soon as she looked up and saw him, her face paled.  Ignoring the furious looks on her parents faces, he looked at her as he started speaking.

“Mandy, I am sorry.  You have got no idea how sorry I am that you are hurting, and I am so terribly sorry that I was the one to do that to you.  It was the one thing I promised that I would never do if I could help it at all.  I just didn’t know …”

Tyler stopped speaking, a grimace on his face.  “I am sorry.  I am not going to make any excuses now.  I just wanted you to know that I am sorry and that I hope that you will be able to forgive me.”

His apology was the last words he spoke to her for a long time.  For longer than a year Mandy did not speak to him.  In the beginning, he would make an attempt to see her, but every time she saw him, she would go deathly pale and all but run away from him.  So Tyler did everything he could to stay out of her way.  He tried staying away completely, but he found that the emotional backlash from her when he wasn’t there, was extremely intense and it got so bad that he could hardly sleep any more when he was away because he knew she wasn’t getting any sleep.

That first night after she found out they were mates was pure hell as far as Tyler was concerned.  When Mandy was awake, she always had a wall up to block him; but as soon as she fell asleep, it would come crashing down.  He did not attempt to see her the day after and hoped that she would be able to sleep better that night because of it.  No such luck though, and by the fifth night, he was just as exhausted as she was.  Just after twelve at night, he had crept out of his house and went to sit beneath her window.  He was relieved to hear her settle down to a degree and the longer he stayed there, the better she slept.

From then on, he would spend every night beneath her window so that she could sleep better.  Tyler did not know that anyone was aware of what he did until one night when it poured with rain.  Because he was feeling so dead and cold inside, the cold rain had him shivering in no time.  So when a steaming cup of coffee was stuck in front of his face, he was very surprised to say the least.

Without a word Rudi handed him the coffee and a thick waterproof jacket and he waited until Tyler had the jacket around him and handed him the empty mug.  He did not go inside immediately and when Tyler looked up him inquisitively, he sighed and squeezed his shoulder.

“Thank you Tyler.”

From then on, he only left when he was called on and came back as soon as he had done his bit, which was to bite the rabid wolf and get him or her properly restrained for the pack that was under threat to care for the wolf until they were no longer a danger.  His new plan of action was met with a lot of resistance until he asked for the help of some of his cousins.

Ricky, Brian’s son; Connell, Conrad’s son and Quinn, Dennis’ son were the first to join him.  They accompanied him on his ‘hunt’ and stayed behind to take care of the wolf after he left for home and that helped smooth things over a lot.  It also lessened the amount of time he had to spend with them because as soon as one of the cousins took over, he was free to leave.  Ricky especially was glad to assist, because he happened to meet his mate at one of the packs they were helping out at.

It was when he had just left that Harris, Alex’s old friend from the Blue Rain pack, called to let Tyler know that they had managed to capture a rabid wolf.  When Alex told him that Tyler was away, he asked whether he could bring the rabid wolf over.  Alex was happy to agree and by late afternoon, a rather huge cage with one angry she-wolf inside was waiting for Tyler to come back from his latest ‘hunt’.

Within a short space of time every living being in the pack had gone to stare at the rabid wolf, including Mandy.  After staring at the wolf for a long time, she turned and went back home again hoping that Tyler would be back soon, not only for the poor wolf’s sake, but for hers as well.  Whenever he was gone, she never slept properly.  So she was extremely grateful that he had involved his cousins during these hunting trips of his.

As soon as her thoughts formed, she realized what she had been thinking.  How selfish could one person be?  Shaking her head she stopped to clear her mind.  She should not be thinking like that at all.  In fact, she should not wish that he came back soon just because she needed him while she refused to talk to him.  A large hand squeezed her heart as soon as she visualized herself talking to Tyler and she had to take in deep breaths to calm down enough for her to rush back home.

Mandy went to lie down when she reached her home and unsuccessfully tried to have a short nap.  By the time her father came to tell her that Tyler was back and that almost everybody was going to watch him do his thing.  She declined his offer for her to accompany him, but not even five minutes later, she regretted her decision.  So, not long after that, she found herself a nice hidden spot to watch the action from.  Tyler was not there yet and she gathered from the conversations flying around her that he was having a quick bite to eat.

There was a ripple in the gathered crowd and she knew that he was coming through.  Taking care to make sure she was out of sight, she took a glance at him.  At first she wasn’t sure it was him, he looked so thin compared to what he used to be.  The way he walked made him look like he was a hundred years old the almost twenty three years he was.  When he walked closer to the cage Mandy could see the way he pulled himself together; standing up straighter, pulling his shoulders back and lifting his head higher and then pasting a smile on his face that did not reach his eyes.

The realization that she, she did this to him made her so sad and mad at the same time.  How could he dare to make her feel guilty about something he did?  Luckily she did not have long to fume.  As soon as he was in front of the cage, he started undressing.  As was her habit, she closed her eyes tightly until a soft growl of appreciation sounded up close to her.

Her eyes flashed open and she got the merest flash of his back before he shifted.  Other wolves shifted as well to form a distraction and he slipped into the cage like a flash of lightning.

With anticipation Mandy watched as the other wolf stalked towards Tyler and she felt so proud when he did nothing but wait patiently for the female wolf to make her move.  He did not have to wait long and the whole crowd inhaled as soon as she lunged forward.  Tyler quickly moved to the side and came at her from the back, biting into her side before she could turn around.

Inching closer with the rest of the crowd, Mandy watched as she charged at Tyler time after time.  Eventually Tyler got fed up with dodging her, and when she charged again, he bumped into her and when she fell, he dropped on top of her, effectively pinning her down.  The female wolf put up a terrific fight as she tried to get free from his almost crushing weight.

Eventually she got tired of fighting and gave up.  When she had been motionless for a long time, Tyler shifted his weight a bit so that she would be more comfortable, then he lay his head on his paws and closed his eyes.  The longer nothing else happened, the more and more people left to go home because there was nothing much to see anymore.

A small crowd stayed behind, curious to see what would happen eventually, and it became difficult for her to stay hidden where she was when the crowd got too thin.  Because she was tired and scared that he might see her, she went home to get some much needed sleep.  Now that Tyler was back she would be able to sleep for longer than the half hour she got when he was not here.

After an hour of tossing and turning Mandy realized that she was not going to get much sleep for the night, so she got up and made herself a cup of hot chocolate.  As soon as she switched the kitchen light on, her dad came in.

“Making hot chocolate?”  He asked with a crooked smile.

“Yeah, want some?”  She asked her dad with a tired smile.

“Sure.”

They were both silent as they nursed their hot chocolates until Rudi could not keep quiet anymore.  “Why are you frowning like that?”

“I’m not sleeping.”  At her father’s puzzled look, she explained.  “Normally when Tyler is here, I sleep a lot better.”

When her father raised his eyebrow at her, she blushed.

“It’s stupid I know, but somehow I just do.  And now he is here, but I am not able to sleep and I don’t know why.”

Rudi frowned at her.  “Let me get this straight. You refuse to talk to him, but you are upset and worried because he’s here and you can’t sleep?”

Mandy dropped her head onto her hand on the table.  “It sounds terrible, I know.  But daddy, every time I think of him, it twists my insides and it hurts to think about him.  I haven’t been angry for a long time anymore, but it still hurts me when I think that he never trusted me enough to tell me the truth.”

“Don’t you think that maybe he thought you were too young?”

“Why would he think that?  It’s not like I don’t know what mates are.  You and mom taught us right from the beginning that it is the best possible thing to find your mate.  Why would I be upset or angry or whatever because I am his?  I had to listen to Carmen and Shelly talk about them wanting to find their mates for so long, that I started feeling that way too.”

Mandy stood up and took the mug from his hands to put it in the basin.  “He knew dad, he knew and he never told me.  Do you have any idea how much it broke my heart that he did not tell me?”  Wrapping her arms around her body she hugged herself.

“I don’t know if he even wanted me to be his mate!  All I know is that he decided not to talk to me about it.”  Mandy swallowed back a sob.  “We talked about everything!  At least that is what I thought, now I am not so sure anymore.  I used to think he told me everything.”

Mandy turned to go to her room when her dad spoke again.

“You have no idea what that boy … what that man did for you.  Your whole life long he has done nothing but wait patiently for you and now you still won’t give him a chance to talk to you and explain.”  Taking a deep breath, he silently asked Tyler to forgive him for his next words because he knew Tyler did not want her to know.

“And do you know why you can only sleep when he is here?  It is not just because he is here.  It is because every single night that man sits outside your window so that you can get in a decent nights sleep because he knows; he knows that you don’t sleep well when he isn’t here.  He sat out there in the wind and rain because that is who he is and because he cares for you!”

Wide eyed Mandy stared at her father, and when he passed her to go to his room, she stood there; rooted to the spot.  When at last her mind was clear enough, she walked to her room in a daze.  She got into bed, prepared to toss and turn for the rest of the night because she knew Tyler was still with the wolf in the cage.  When she woke in the morning, the first thing she realized was that she had slept properly after all.  Which ment that Tyler must have come to window during the early morning.  Reaching a decision, she scrambled out of bed, did no more than give her teeth a super quick glance at the toothbrush before rushing out to look  for Tyler.

She crashed in through the back door and found Cassy in the kitchen with a strange woman at the table.

“Where is Tyler?”

“Oh honey,” Cassy said with a sad smile.  “He got a call form another pack with some trouble.  He left about an hour ago.”