I JUST LOVE BOOKS AND BOYS. I know, boys are not all that special and shit but come one, you can't tell me how awesome it would be to have that teenage romance where the boy has been in love with the girl since they were kids but she never noticed? I mean— how could you not want that.

I want my love life to be like my parent's. Can you believe they knew each other since they were kids but only got together when they were 17? That's like a crazy book trope. My mom always had a crush on him but never did anything because she was scared of rejection ( can't blame her ). My dad had a crush on her too but was also afraid of rejection. That's why communication is key, you will never know what will happen if you never tell them what you want.

A little summary about their love, my mom fell first but my dad fell harder, that's the kind of love I want. Their love was never toxic, and now it will never be. It's been a year since he left the world and my mom has never been more upset, she always pretends to be happy around Jacob and I, but we for sure know she's hiding how she actually feels, how much she's hurting. At least she has Susannah and Laurel, they've always been by her side and have never left her.

I also want a friendship like theirs. I have Becca but it's a bit different, you know? I love her, though, and I've never been happier than to have her here with me so we can gossip about our life and our big fat drama.

Should I write a book about my mom's life? Would be interesting, I could ask Laurel to teach me how to write.

Anyway, back to reality. We arrived about 5 minutes ago to Laurel's book party and there's no cute boy in here, it's kind of making me want to cry.

At least I get to read some books while I'm here. I recently read this one Colleen Hoover book called Verity and it gave me goosebumps, I'm definitely team manuscript—why would Verity think write down thing like that? For fuck's sake, she's a sociopath.

As I was reading the summary of this one book i saw on the book shelf, I felt someone besides me rest their back on the wall besides the book shelf. "Don't recommend that one."

I slowly put the book down to look at the person and I realized....it's a guy, an attractive male that likes books? Holy shit.

I let out a shaky chuckle, nervously looking at the guy. "Why? Is it that bad?" I literally have to look up to him to actually see him in the eye, just like Conrad, why are you even thinking about him.

"There's no dialogue at all. It's like a... like an essay, I guess you could say." He says, still resting his back on the wall. I tilt my head, looking back at the book, "Why did you read it, then?"

"I'm a very curious person. I judge the book by it's cover, maybe that's why I always end up disappointed in the books I buy." He nods to himself before looking at me. "I'm Steve." He hands out his hand to me, a smile plastered on his face.

I look at the hand for a second before shaking it politely. "I'm Lennon." I said with a smile on my face. I could feel my cheeks burning so I turned my head away.

"So, uh.... what type of books do you like to read?" He suddenly asks. He's interested in what I read? No one has ever acted like this with me, except for Conrad, stop it, Lennon.

"I like all books. I like to have a little bit of all, I don't know why."

The guy, who I now know of as Steve, smiled down at me. "Oh, cool, cool, cool..." he said, I tuck my hair behind my ear and looked away, feeling awkward. "So, umm, are staying here? Like late?" He asked.

"Am I staying here at the bookstore?" I repeated, chuckling. Steve quickly shakes his head and says, "Yes, that! It's just, my mom forced me to be here so...Ill be leaving like in 2 hours."

"Woah...2 hours, that's depressing." I said, raising my eyebrows. He chuckles and brushed his hair back with his hand, "Yeah, well, you can't say no to your mom, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, totally!" I laugh. I looked away for a quick second, catching eyes with my brother and Conrad, who were looking at me intensely, specially Conrad.

"Uhh, do you want to get coffee, right now? There's a coffee shop a block away.." I said, looking away from Conrad with a smile.

Well, that was a bold move, nothing like me.

"I'm in, this thing was getting kind of boring, anyway." He said with a shiny smile.

Okay, so this is definitely a dream, because why would a cute guy approach me in a library???? That's like, book worthy.

"Okay! I'm just going to tell my mom where I'm going. If I don't then she'll get worried and think I got murdered." I said, throwing my arm behind me. Steve opened his mouth then closed it, rubbing his neck with his arm, "Yeah, sure, go ahead, I'll be waiting." He smiled, a kind smile.

Men are not usually this nice. Well, the men I know are not usually this nice, so this is kind of new for me.

I nod at him before walking away. Of course, I was going to tell my mom about the coffee thing, as I was walking towards my mom, Conrad bumped into me, so obvious.

"Who was that?" He said, looking behind me with lost eyes. I followed his gaze to see Steve who was now talking to an old lady with a kind smile, how is this man already perfect? Nop, don't think so nicely of him, because then he'll break your heart.

"Uhh, that's...none of your business, you nousy little bitch." I paused before continuing walking. He placed a hand on my stomach to stop me from walking, which obviously did.

"But, why were you, like, talking to him?" He asked with more of a nervous tone. I furrowed my eyebrows and chuckled, "Why are you so interested in what I do? Obsessed much?" I joked.

"Definitely not." He said so quickly that it made him shut up as soon as he said it. I eyed him, looking him hip and down, his body language was saying something else, I just couldn't get it.

"Okay...we'll, I'm going to go now." I smile at him, walking away from him. Conrad smiles before it fading away as quickly as it came out. "Wait, where are you going?" He asks.

"To a coffee shop." I simply said, not stopping my tracks. He followed behind like a lost puppy and exclaimed, "With who!?"

"With a friend. Who else would I be going with?"

"With that guy?" He pointed towards Steve who was looking to us right when I did. He smiled at me and waved, I waved back and smiled at myself. Conrad just watched our interaction and rolled his eyes. "You literally just met him." He states.

"Okay? That's how people become friends, Conrad. Basic knowledge, Jesus". I muttered the last part, rolling my eyes at him.

I stopped my tracks once I realized he was not going to stop. "Why do you keep following me?" I ask, getting angrier.

Out of all the times he could acted all interested, it had to be today, right now. It's like he doesn't want me to meet people.

"Why aren't you hanging out with us?" His voice saddened. Oh, cry me a river, he's acting as if he made a move to talk to me through out this whole evening.

"Fun fact; I don't talk to people unless they talk to me first! You should know that by now!" I sarcastically smiled. Conrad scrunched his face, "What's that supposed to mean?" He asks.

"It means, that throughout this whole event you haven't tried to talk to me or even acknowledge me, and now, you talked to me first and boom, conversation started, but now I ended it because I want a coffee and I want to have new friends other than you and....Steven and....Jeremiah and.... That's kind of it, it's hard to make friends, you know?" I said as final words before heading out, walking to my mom.

⸻꧂❣☼—㋡✺

i am so freaking sorry for not updating for almost 2 weeks? I'm pretty sure it was two weeks, I've lost count. I started high school (10th grade) and I had this pre-classes for two weeks (boring) and so I was kind of busy, sometimes I forgot to write and honestly, I didn't even want to write anything. I'm lazy as that.

I wanted to try a new thing that is called; responsibility! Yay, that means, focusing on school as my main priority, that's why I haven't post things! But for now, there's no specific update schedule since I just post whenever I feel like it!

That's all, I'm gonna upload another chapter from Conrad's pov in like 9 hours since it's the time I wake up, i think.

→ Mar