At Camp, Again, Day 116 A.F

Fire burned, hissing and popping. Each crackling twig seemed to sooth the others, warming their weary bones. Yet each time the flame spluttered, the scent of burning flesh filled my nose; agonized screams rang in my ears. Though it had been days ago, I'd been unable to escape that dream. Sleep mercifully eluded me for all but a few disconnected moments a night.

I didn't complain about the meger fire. We were lucky to have one at all. While all the men in our company, excluding Matthew, knew how to create a small campfire, Enki's were by far the largest, though hardly impressive. Even when everyone tried to strike stones or rub sticks, there were nights we huddled in the dark and cold, shivering ourselves to sleep.

Most of the mud had dried away and flaked off our skin, but both Enki and me had utterly ruined our clothes. I doubted even a clean river had any hope of unearthing the fabric.

Tybira had been in a frenzy upon our return. She'd just about tackled me in a hug.

Enki had hung back, unwilling to be seen shirtless. When he finally made his way to camp after I relocated the bilberries and returned his shirt, Tybira snipped that I "should have lost him out there", but then went on to berate him relentlessly. The Magician stoically withstood every comment from "well, I always knew you were stupid" to "is your skull so thick that you didn't realize you could have died?"

I believed he secretly enjoyed her lecture.

Cyprian had simply patted my arm, whispering "I'm glad you're safe" in my ear.

We sat around the campfire in aimable peace, or whatever could pass for peace during the Game, finishing off the last of the bilberries. Through careful rationing, we'd managed to make them last several days. My little bush had yet to produce fruit, which Enki didn't understand. I was simply surprised it was still alive.

I yawned, exhaustion an ever present torment. No doubt Cyp was in an even worse state. He'd been in the throws of a nightmare the night before. When I'd taken his hand, he'd gripped onto my wrist as if I was keeping him from plummeting to his death.

As always, Gabriel remained on the fringes of camp. He hadn't touched the berries I'd gathered, flying off from time to time to hunt for his own food. I wasn't sure if he had any success. But whether it was due to pride or nobility, the Archangel didn't even look at our resources, not that we offered him any. Why waste scarce food on the very man we planned to assassinate whenever the opportunity presented itself?

A snapping twig elicited a flare of sparks from the fire, causing the Archangel to whip back around. In the firelight, his sallow face illuminated, the shadows beneath his eyes deepening to caverns. His wan cheeks were sunken. His typically sharp eyes seemed to have dulled.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?" I inquired, hardly sure why I cared. His weakening was all the better for me.

He stretched his pointed face into a lackluster smirk. "Just a few days ago, Empress."

"And what did you eat?" I reiterated, watching the bunching of his eyebrows in confusion.

"I managed to land upon a rather plump cockroach." Gabriel looked away, picking bits of grass from his feathers. "It seems the Flood couldn't quite kill them."

A singular cockroach? I glanced at the handful of berries in my grasp. Scorning myself, I extended them. "Here."

"Ayesha!" Tybira scolded.

Gabriel shook his head stiffly, though his eyes locked onto the fruit with raptor focus. "That's kind of you, but I couldn't. Really. I... that's your food."

Against my better judgement, I ignored Tybira. "Exactly. I found it and I'll do with it what I please. Take them. I'll get more from my bush." That was a lie, that I was reasonably sure everyone saw through, especially Enki. My Empress-magic seemed to have all but dried up.

The Archangel opened his mouth, likely going to protest again, but his arm snapped forward, snatching the bilberries from my grasp. He'd stuffed several into his mouth before managing a reverent "thank you".

As Gabriel ate, I fended off the glares of my friends, aside from Matthew, of course; I doubted the Fool even realized where our supplies had gone.

I knew that if the roles were reversed, I'd be glaring too. Why had I given away the last of our food? Unless we stumbled upon a mericle, our very survival rested simply on my willing that scraggly bush to bear fruit, and our starvation would be my fault. I deserved ridicule from my companions. Still, it made my skin itch to feel their disappointment.

Unable to withstand their judgement in silence any longer, I turned to Enki, forcing my face void of my shame. "Would the Empresses of old have done that?"

"No," he admitted. "The Empress isn't known to be so stupid."

The jibe didn't bother me as much as Enki's insults formerly did. Since our excursion to the mud pits he'd ceased with the Empress comments. Maybe I had finally surpassed his preconceptions about me and made up for my deceit in Aphrodisia. Now, if Enki despised me, it wasn't because I was the Empress: simply because I was the fool who made them starve.

Gabriel finished his meagre supper in moments, even sucking the juice from his fingers. "Thank you, Empress," he repeated. "I will repay your kindness somehow. Name it and I'll do it."

"How about you drop your blackmail?" Cyprian grunted.

The angel lowered his gaze. "That I cannot do, though I wish it could be otherwise. You wouldn't help me if I did. You all must believe me when I say that I don't want to threaten any of you."

Cyprian simply scoffed, but Enki's face softened slightly.

"I believe you," I managed. It had never occured to me that Gabriel truly wished us ill; he'd never behaved maliciously. Still, we couldn't face the Lovers for him. Was Judgement's death really the only solution?

"But you can't let us be on our way?" Tybira mumbled. "Going back to the twins... I can't even think about it."

Gabriel shook his head, still focused on his wings. His injuries had mostly healed, but every now and then the Archangel would wince as he took to the sky. "I'm honestly sorry. I am. But for Lotan, anything. I will do, threaten, or sacrifice whatever or whomever I need to, but I will save him. Anyone: I even sacrificed my own father for him."

"You chose your friend over your family?" There, I disagreed. I cared very deeply for Tybira, Cyp, and Enki, but I imagined I'd give them up if I could bring Lalita back to life. Then again, Paltic had been family to me. Perhaps Gabriel viewed this Lotan as a brother?

"I didn't mean to... Or at least, I didn't plan to," he said. "He was my first thought when I saw the Flood nearing. I snatched him around the waist and watched the water advance, praying my father had been correct about the Game. He had always said that my wings should appear like magic as the Game began. Upon thinking of him, Lotan and I managed to reach my father in time. Just before the waters swallowed us, my wings sprouted from my back and propelled us into the air. But they didn't just materialize like Father had said: they burst from my back, ripping open my skin. Between the pain and inexperience... I couldn't hold them both... I dipped into the water a few times, hardly managing to stay aloft." The Angel screwed his face into a grimace. "Then Father was falling... Lotan says he let go on his own so that I could escape... But I don't know... I feel like I made a choice. I didn't even know I was making it, but I knew I couldn't save both of them. Somehow, I know I made the choice."

"You really think you let your father die for some friend?" Tybira muttered, shaking her head.

"Lotan isn't just some friend," Gabriel retorted. His wings sprawled limply behind him. "I will save him. Even I have to slit your throats, or my own throat myself. Anything."

The severity in his voice was cutting. There was no threat intended in his words, but the immutability with which he spoke was intimidating nonetheless. If saving Lotan ment murdering every soul at this campfire, including his own, Gabriel wouldn't hesitate.

Matthew blinked up at me, eyes widened as if he'd just awoken from a long nap. In a daze, he turned his head to Gabriel, blinking several more times. "That won't be necessary."

The Archangel did a double take. "You mean Lotan will live?" He didn't manage to hide the tremor in his voice.

"No," Matthew said.

Gabriel tensed, his wings flaring out behind him, feathers bristling. "What do you mean, damnit?"

His broiling anger rumbled with such poison that I snatched Matthew by the shoulders and pulled him closer to me.

Seeing my distress, Gabriel attempted to regain some composure. His voice came in rattling pants. "I swear to all the gods, Fool, tell me he'll survive."

Matthew seemed utterly unaware of the aggression in the air, though Enki and Cyprian eyed each other, perhaps wondering how to avert a physical confrontation. The Fool sighed, obviously exasperated with the Archangel. "We all have died and will die. Fortune will run out. Death finds the Empress. Hanged Man hangs. Huntress hunted. The Magician will be killed by the viper." Viper? One of my titles?

"The Viper?" Though he visibly resisted the urge, Enki couldn't keep his eyes from flitting towards me.

"Magician will be murdered by the viper. Most likely. Most paths lead to that," Matthew said, turning to me. "Fauna will be very unhappy with you."

My mouth was drier than the inland ground. I stared at Enki imploringly, but already I could sense his walls rebuilding, brick by mistrustful brick, blocking me out.

"I won't hurt Enki," I told Matthew, praying the Magician would believe my vow, even if I couldn't completely trust my own words.

Matthew shrugged. "Future flows. You will see. I already have. The viper kills the Magician. His Icon will emblazon your hand." His words left little room to argue.

I stood, dust and dried mud crumbling off me like my tentative friendship with Enki. Debris trailed after me as I scurried to the edge of camp. The last thing I wanted was to endure more jeering or worse, the ghostly isolation I'd surely receive, even when surrounded by the people I cared about.

Footsteps echoed behind me. I turned, expecting to Cyprian or Tybira, or anyone but Enki jogging after me. He held a hand firmly to his chest, a grimace upon his face. I wondered if something as simple as that light jog had irritated his scar.

"Ayesha, wait," he panted, stumbling to a stop before me. I might have ran, but I feared Enki might reopen his scar if he moved any quicker.

"What?" I grumbled. "You want to tell me that you always knew I was evil?"

"No." He slumped onto the dusty ground, gasping slightly. He glanced towards camp then lifted his shirt, fumbling hastily with the fabric. The cross section of the jagged infinity scar had split open, glistening red droplets leaking from the cracking scab. He grunted at the wound before recovering it. "I was going to say that I don't believe it."

"You don't?" I watched him for several moments before sinking down beside him, leaving a wide gap between us.

Enki shook his head. "Nothing the Fool says is set in stone. He sees all the possible futures. So, it's possible you'll kill me, but for the most part, he can only guess what outcome will happen. And even still, the future is always shifting and updating."

"So there's still a chance I will kill you?" I didn't even know myself well enough to guarantee I wouldn't. What if Lady Lotus finally managed to consume me?

"Maybe, but why would you save me from the mud pits simply to poison me?"

If the bloodthirsty witch inside me finally gets her wish?

"And besides," Enki continued. "Matthew predicted something that certainly won't come to pass. If you killed me, Tybira would give you a hug. The Fool said she'd be mad at you."

While I disagreed with Enki's statement, I mustered a weak smile. Tybira would most certainly mourn the Magician, but I appreciated his efforts. "Thank you, Enki."

"Not a problem. I trust you." He turned away, concealing his face as he spoke.

I stood on tired legs, ready to meander back to camp, but a broad figure lumbered towards us.

Cyprian dipped his chin at Enki. "Looking for food. We're all out."

Because I gave Gabriel the last of our bilberries. "I'll come with you. If you find any plants, you'll need me."

"You sure, Flower?" He raised an eyebrow. "It isn't as if you've had much success with that little bush."

I bristled slightly. "I kept it alive. But if you want to eat whatever you find out there, fine. Maybe the others will believe me."

Enki gave a barking laugh. "If the Empress is supposedly out to poison me, I'm certainly not going to eat anything she says might be toxic." He patted Cyprian's wide shoulder. "Good luck, Hanged Man."

Cyp grunted as Enki wandered back to camp, no doubt to bestow some lavish compliments upon Tybira. I doubted he'd ever give up on her.

I trotted after Cyprian, grateful for the rare alone time. We'd not been alone together since that kiss in Aphrodisia, a kiss I hoped to repeat in a happier location. I yearned to know if he felt the same way as I did, but couldn't fathom how to broge the subject.

He didn't say a word as we trekked across the dusty plains. Was he ignoring me? I trailed behind him, chewing my lower lip.

We walked in silence as the sun moved across the sky, until Cyprian stopped dead in his tracks. He drew his sword, moving slower than I thought possible. The rope had been replaced, though far looser on the handle, an extra weapon if needed. His powerful muscles flexed and in a flash, the blade sailed through the air, careening towards a shabby tree.

A speckled songbird streaked into the sky, shrieking a warning cry to whatever other birds remained.

"Damn." Cyprian hustled to the base of the tree, swiping his sword from the ground.

"You honestly thought you could spear that tiny bird?" Of course, I didn't have much right to talk; I hadn't even seen the little creature.

Cyprian huffed, "could you have flown up and snared it? Because I can't."

"Maybe Gabriel could?"

"I'm not hunting with that bastard. I don't trust him enough to share the spoils."

"He wouldn't betray you," I said. "He needs us alive."

"Yes, so he can threaten to hand us to the Lovers? We need to kill him, not offer him the last of our food."

"What's your problem, Cyp?"

"What got into your mind to think we can share supplies with the enemy? In case you hadn't realized it, Flower, we're starving out here and you gave that overgrown sparrow the last mouthfuls we found."

My jaw jutted at his condescension. Any remorse I felt dissipated. "I found them. Not we. I found those berries and I can do what I want with them."

"So you'd rather provide for that chicken than me? Or Tybira? Or Enki? Your allies?" He shook his head in disbelief.

"No matter how hard you try, calling Gabriel sparrow and chicken doesn't make him any less human and you know it. Would threaten to kill me if I could save Circe for you, but wouldn't of my own choosing? I might hate you for it, but that doesn't mean you aren't a person."

Cyprian stepped back as if I'd struck him in the stomach. "How is that an even similar situation? I'd be saving the love of my life, not some friend."

Love of his life... I tried not to flinch at the certainty in his voice, studying the ground until I could mask the hurt stinging my eyes. "Fine. We need more food? I'll get you more food."

I closed my eyes, focusing on each nearby tree. Something pinched my arm, a nagging, unwanted entity, a foreign body resting atop a spruce. The brush of feathers tickled my skin. I reached out slowly, movements hardly perceptible. One twitch of a finger and I'd lose. I didn't truly know what I was planning, but instinct guided me until... There.

My gut pulled me as I burst into a run, a dubious and confused Cyprian ambling behind me.

"Take a look at that." I stopped in front of a young spruce, green branches supple and thin.

Cyprian followed my self-satisfied gaze to a narrow twig, suspending a thrashing starling by the leg. The bird's wings flapped wildly, its terrorized cawing piercing the air. I swallowed, urging the tree to bend until it the bird dangled well within Cyprian's reach.

Without a word, The Hanged Man raised his sword. I clenched my eyes shut until the bird's screaming ceased. The bird swung limply from the flexible branch, a lifeless bunch of black feathers. Cyprian's blade slashed through the branch.

I gasped, recoiling as a sharp pain spiked through my arm. The agony dissipated as Cyprian caught the starling, unaware of my discomfort.

He looked from me to our kill, shifting his feet. "Erm... Thanks?"

"What happened?" I chewed my lip. "I thought... In the ship... Your shirt by the river..."

Cyprian rubbed his chin. "Look, Flower, in the ship I really did feel something. It was real. But ever since... it feels like it's been fading. And then last night, I felt her--Circe. I dreamed I was drowning, like I'd been floating in the ocean for days and suddenly she was there. She..." His eyebrows furrowed. "She walked out across the water and took my hand. And I could feel her hand in mine, like she was really there. And for that moment I knew without a doubt she's alive."

My eyes burned, my stomach dropping. I glanced at Cyprian, only barely reigning in the tears pooling behind my eyes; he seemed to smile at me, his dark eyes glinting.

I mastered my breathing. If his blossoming affections for me had ebbed, if he'd once again convinced himself Circe was alive, then I had no reason to disillusion him. It was a mercy to him if I let him believe the love of his life was searching for him.

Still... that vindictive, vengeful part of me stirred, mental claws sharpening. It wasn't Lady Lotus's voice that spat, "I grabbed your hand, Cyprian. When you were having a nightmare last night, I took your hand. It was me you were clinging to, me you felt. Not Circe."

Cyprian's face blanked. He fumbled backward. "It was--it was you?" But I had already turned away, powering back to camp. Cyprian trailed after me, the distance between us growing with every step.

((Two chapters in one week, and a chapter of 2500? Practically unheard of for me. I'm not going to promise I'll be as prompt with the next chapter, but we'll see. You'll get to learn more about the Tarot Cards and other Arcana, and see more of Tybira than we have for awhile.

Sorry, Cyprian x Ayesha fans! Hope you're not upset... and at the same time, I definitely hope you're upset. Don't worry, this isn't necessarily the end for the Hanged Man and Empress. Hope you all had a good Valentine's Day.

What did you think of Gabriel's confession about his father and Lotan?

Ayesha's decision to offer him the last bit of food?

Matthew's prophecy about Enki?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and predictions! Thank you so much.))