049: Oh, he wants you all right

Maille went back to Park City, her tears dried on her cheeks. She'd called the final care facility and found that the morning had been uneventful. Myndee had been moved back to her own room. She was resting comfortably, but had asked for Maille several times. The nurses even said that the asking every so often was more normal than the not asking had been before Kell and Maille's appearance.

Maille showered in her own bathroom, and then changed into brown jeans and a tan and coral plaid blouse. She didn't have anything else. She found a suitcase in the garage and packed a few things, her personal items and her pajamas. She made several trips to her car, pillows, blankets, and a few books.

Then she drove over to the music studio, fulfilled her obligation singing for Michael for three hours and then went to visit Myndee.

"Hi." she said when she got there and saw Myndee lying on her back, wheezing tolerantly.

Myndee's eyes were ringed in sickly yellow. "Hi. Maille."

Maille went to her side and sat on the bed. "How's my girl?"

"Fine." Myndee coughed and then managed a wan smile. "How's my castle?"

Maille held up the most recent video episode. "I have the goods right here, doll." she pulled the TV closer hooked it up. They both laughed. "Megan has it all drawn out. She even lets me paint the background. The meadow background."

"Did you get any furniture yet?''

"I'm not very good at this, am I?" Maille yawned.

Myndee eyed her critically. "I saw you sleeping with your head in Kell's lap this morning. Did you kiss him again?"

Maille shook her head and smiled in a self-deprecating way. "I don't know how I got there, and I won't make that mistake again."

"I think Kell really likes you."

Maille digested this. "Well, I think he really doesn't know what he wants from me."

"Oh, he wants you all right." Myndee said and coughed some more. "He wants to kiss you more."

"What makes you say that, Myndee?"

"He was playing with your hair while you slept."

Maille shook her head disregarding this observation. "You don't know Kell. He thought he owned my hair a week ago. He was always pulling me around by my hair." Even now she could feel the slight tugs as he pulled her closer, or guided her around. "That doesn't mean anything."

Myndee lifted a small shoulder. "I think it does. I think he was remembering your kisses while he played with your hair."

"You're a little romantic." Maille huffed and scooted off the bed. "Since when did you start reading Kell's mind?"

Myndee smiled. "Since forever," she said knowingly and they both laughed, and then Myndee coughed and Maille stroked her back and hair to regain calmness.

"Maille, will you spend the night with me tonight?"

"I have to go back and sing for Michael in an hour, Myn, but then I can come back here for a while.When am I supposed to shop for my house stuff?''

"After you sing for Michael, you can go shopping, and you can take videos and then bring them back here and show me, and I can help you pick things out."

"Okay. That would work. I guess I can do that." Maille stood up and went to the window. She looked out at the parking lot. Her car was there, one of the only ones. Where did other family go after their visits? How could they stand to leave their child there? Maille wanted nothing more than to take Myndee with her every time she left. She hated the feeling of separation. What if something were to happen while she was gone?

They laid there holding hands for a while, and then Maille brushed Myndee's hair and they whispered together about the castle and the meadow and the unicorn's. There should be a unicorn in the trees, and a herd of them down by the river. River? When did a river get there?

Maille left to go to her job. She liked the thought that she had a job now. A regular job with hours like anyone else. Michael treated her like royalty too. He always set her up with the best equipment, the best seat. She enjoyed the other backup vocalists and usually liked watching the antics of the lead singers.

Granted there had only been two so far, but Michael assured her that she was needed desperately all over the place. He'd given her a regular schedule with sound room numbers that varied and artists that were well known or not so well known. Many of whom were Mormon. She would have the most fun with those.

Wishing she were like Kell and could memorize phone books and maps, Maille searched for a furniture store. In the back of her mind, as she videoed the interior, she recalled waking up that morning with her ear glued to Kell's hairy leg. He'd been wearing shorts and they had ridden up. A lightweight blanket was wrapped haphazardly around her. 

Myndee had rolled to her side and Kell's hand was lightly resting on the bed near her cheek. Her own hand was dangling over the side of the bed touching Myndee's shoulder. Tears had sprung to Maille's eyes. 

Kell was there, and he'd cared enough to try and make her comfortable. And he seemed to want her close. Waking up to his smell, to his strength, emanating from him in pure waves of peace and security had been like coming home.

She had done things on her own in his absence. She was becoming someone with a life to offer.

Would he see that she wasn't just an anchor to tie him down? That she wouldn't be a kiss hungry, demanding...

She wouldn't think about it right now. She didn't really know what was going on in his mind, any more than she knew her own feelings. She should never have allowed herself to complicate things with feelings of lust.

She went back to the care facility. It was pushing dinner time and her stomach rumbled threateningly. She recalled that she hadn't eaten all day. Myndee was in her room, asleep, tubes running from an IV to her thin little arm. A nurse was in the room. Against the wall by the window, Kell was standing.

He straightened as she appeared in the door holding the camera. His eye caught hers hopefully.

Maille glanced back and forth from the nurse to Myndee to Kell. She stared at Kell. He motioned with a slight inclination of his head for her to come to him.

Maille took a deep breath. She knew he was going to hug her, and maybe that was what he needed.

But she went to Myndee's bedside and knelt beside her. "Myn?"

Myndee mumbled something and then coughed. She tossed her head a second and then fell back into a deeper sleep. But, Maille thought, she must have responded to her voice, she moved a bit at the sound of it, didn't she? She looked up at the nurse.

''She took a tum for the worse." the nurse said.

"Did they have to intubate her again?"

"No." the nurse shook her head. "They are getting to where they can't perform the operation. Her body is too weak to stand it." she shook her head sadly.

Maille swallowed and glanced up at Kell. He was staring at her solemnly.

She stroked Myndee's arm. "I brought the video, Myn. Wake up and we'll watch it and you can pick out the furniture." she said in that false bright cheery voice that she used when Myndee was down or depressed.

Myndee stirred again. But she didn't wake up.

"Have you given her something to make her sleep?" she asked, but the nurse had gone, and she felt hands on her shoulders drawing her up.

Maille shook her head. "Leave me alone," she said rather fiercely for her. Which wasn't more than a hiss in the semi-darkness. But Kell wouldn't leave her alone. He knelt behind her and squeezed her shoulders, and she heard his indrawn train whistle breath. She felt his body pressed close to her back, but she didn't want his comfort right now.

She wasn't thinking about not feeling him, that was different, and in another category in her mind, feeling was more intimate, and to be avoided. Feeling was what had made Kell leave her for three days. But this was something else, sharing, and she didn't want to share. Her feelings about Myndee were something she didn't know how to share.

But Kell did know how to share. It wasn't the first time he'd watched a child die. He licked his lips and then leaned into her, pressing his lips into her hair he whispered in her ear. "Maille, she's dying."

"No." Maille said and the tears filled her eyes, spilled onto her cheeks and she shook with the effort not to cry.

"Maille, it's part of the Plan," he said gently, he let one arm slip around her just below her neck, holding her there, giving her his strength. What else could he do? She was his. She was family. It's what family did.

And thinking that made his heart clench. Was he accepting it?

He closed his eyes and nuzzled her hair aside again, "Maille, turn to me."

Maille's head dropped to the cotton coverlet and her tears bathed Myndee's hand. "No, Kell, you don't want me to run to you. You said so."

"I said don't run from me."

"But you ran from me."

He knew he had. It had been wrong, to leave her alone to wonder, to give her those feelings and then in effect, reject her. "I'm sorry."

Maille straightened up, Myndee's hand had moved, moved in a way that made her think she was awake. "Myn?"

"Maille?" Came the very weak voice, but a voice none the less. Maille's tear streaked eyes rose to find Myndee's open barely a crack. Her breathing was so labored. Her skin so pale.

"I'm here, Myn." Maille said.

"Is that Kell too?"

"He's here too, babe." Maille said.

"Are you together?"

"Yes, honey."

"Did you kiss him again?" Her voice was faint, a mere whisper in the stillness.

Maille's eyes were swimming, her throat choked up. She bowed her head. For this child she had told her secrets, she had shared the most intimate moment of her life. For this tiny girl, she had prayed and planned. And for the sake of a romance between her two protectors, Myndee was wondering if Maille had kissed Kell again. She could only imagine the girlish romance going on inside Myndee's nine-year-old fantasy mind. The prince and princess ...

"Is that what you want, Myndee?" Kell's voice was husky.

"Maille wants you to kiss her again, Kell, she's so confused." her eyes had closed and Kell thought she had drifted off to sleep again, but then she opened them wider again.

"Maille?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"If he kisses you, you'll know."

"Know what?"

"You'll know he loves you..."

*****