De Javu

    THE following days were like a roller coaster. Denver sent me my schedule for my last week here in the country. I have to attend the haute couture fashion show as the final model. I also have a shoot for Mega magazine.

The moment I entered the unit, all my hair follicles shivered in longing and nostalgia. Nothing's changed. The living room, balcony, and kitchen were still the same. Thank God! I thought I'd be entering a house I couldn't remember.

My eyes roamed around the bedroom. Nothing has changed. Everything I remember was still here except for one.

As my eyes were on the shelves, I spotted different flowers made with legos. Parang may lubak ng yelo ang natunaw sa puso ko nang makita 'yon. I wonder who gave these flowers to me.

I marched towards the direction of the shelves and picked one of the flowers— red roses. Each kind of flower is placed inside a belle jar container like in 'Beauty and the Beast'. May fairy lights pa ang ilan sa mga bulaklak.

Who gave these flowers to me?

I sighed and went straight to the closet, searching for some clothes. Dumiretso ako sa banyo nang makapili ng susuotin. Nang magtu-toothbrush na ay nangunot ang noo ko nang makita na dalawang toothbrush ang nasa lagayan. An unfamiliar blue toothbrush with a turtle cover and a pink toothbrush with a cat cover was in the holder.

There are also men's things on the shelves— deodorant, men's shampoo and conditioner, aftershave cream at iba pa. 

"Did I live here with someone?" I mumbled as I continued to roam my eyes in the four corners of my bathroom.

My pupils suddenly went heavy as fragments of scenes flashed inside my mind. I held my forehead when I felt a poundage on it.

"I want to court you." The man's voice was so gentle. 

I couldn't see his expression, but his voice was enough for me to distinguish that he was serious.

"Why? Why do you want to court me?" I heard my voice but didn't see my face.

"I want to pursue you. I want to win your heart. I-I want to treat you like a princess and shower you with flowers and stuff," The tone of his voice was warm, gentle, and sincere. I could feel his adoration towards me.

The memory started to turn vivid, but before I even managed to see the man's face, I suddenly felt a sharp pain that slammed my head. My vision suddenly spun, and in just a few seconds, everything went black.

I opened my eyes and let out a deep, shuddering breath as if I was in a deep nightmare. The white ceiling of an unfamiliar room greeted my eyes. Slowly, I blinked my eyes to restore my still blurry eyes.

"Khrizanta! My God, darling! How are you feeling, anak?"

"M-Mommy," my voice was low and weak. "I-Im fine. . ." I tried getting up, but Mommy shook her head.

"Don't get up, darling. Just lay down and rest,"

"I still have work, Mommy. May haute couture fashion show akong kailangan puntahan—"

"Khrizanta, huwag makulit. You need at least 24 hours until you can move around freely," Mom said in her controlled voice.

My eyes laid on the towering man behind my Mom. He looks like a bundle of nerves while staring at me. Before I completely lost consciousness, I saw him. Sigurado akong siya ang nagdala sa akin dito.

"What? Hindi naman ako terminal patient! I just lost consciousness because—"

"Because you're exhausting yourself. I told you, didn't I? Don't force yourself to remember."

"It was hard not to! Mommy, I want to remember those memories! I want to remember someone," my voice cracked, and suddenly, hot tears streaming down my face.

I want to do everything to remember. I want to remember not just the happy memories but also the unhappy memories. Even it was hurting, frustrating and making me confused.

She immediately embraced me. "Shh. It's okay, darling. But you shouldn't force yourself to remember. You'll only make your condition worse, hija. Your brain will get stressed, and you'll have a hard time restoring your memories because your brain already blocks out,"

"I'm sorry.  .  ." I muttered and hide my face.

"It's okay, darling." She tapped my back, consoling me. "I'm going back to work, darling. Nandito si Engineer Silvestre, he's the one who brought you here."

I want to ask her how she knew him. Did she know him as Zachariah's brother or more than that?

My eyes laid on Croisx. Biglang tumibok ang puso ko nang magtama ang mga mata namin. Even my heart knew him. I cut the gaze and nodded at Mommy.

"Good," She faced Croisx, and they talked quietly. Hindi ko marinig ang pinag-uusapan nila dahil pumwesto sila doon sa may malapit sa pinto.

Nang maiwan kaming dalawa ni Croisx, the oxygen became thin. He walked towards me and sat on the chair beside my bed. Suminghot ako nang maramdaman ang kamay niya na pinupunasan ang mga natuyong luha sa pisngi ko.

"Get rest," he demanded softly.

"How did you know I was there?" I asked instead without breaking our eye contact. "How did you know? Don't lie to me, Croisx. Alam kong kilala na kita noon pa lang."

I saw how his expression changed. His face grew serious. He licked his upper lips before pressing his lips together.

"Don't force yourself to remember me," he said in a low and icy tone. "Magpahinga kana," he says, avoiding my question.

His words pierced my heart, and it caused my heart to bleed.

Sa huli, ako ang talo. Wala akong magawa kung hindi ang matulog ulit. This time, Croisx was here, watching me asleep.

Noong magising ulit, nandito pa rin siya, ang pagkakaiba lang, madilim na sa labas and he was facing the side table on the side of my bed. He was taking down notes in a notebook while reading a thick book.

"What are you doing?" I asked, making him startled.

He turned his full attention to me.

"How do you feel?" he asked instead.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Anong ginagawa mo?"

"School works," he answered. "Are you hungry? Thirsty—"

I cut him off by saying, "I want to go home. I don't like in here," His expression softened upon hearing me.

He shifted his weight on the chair by facing me. Then he removed some strands of my hair in my face. "You will get discharged tomorrow morning. Konting tiis na lang, hmm?"

My eyes blinked as my heart suddenly went frenzied upon hearing how gentle his voice was. "O-Okay. I'm hungry. Pwede naman ako kumain, diba?" I swallow, trying to calm my heartbeat.

"Of course! What do you want? Fruits? Sandwich—" Maagap siyang tumayo upang maipaghanda ako ng pagkain.

"Ayoko niyan. I want pizza and ice cream." I demanded.

He stopped from what he was doing. "Hmm, okay. I'll buy you." He licked his lips. "Don't move, okay? I'll be back shortly."

I nodded. "Hmm.  .  ."

Nang makalabas si Croisx, inilibot ko ang paningin sa buong kwarto. Until my eyes laid on his book. I reached for it and groaned because of its weight!

"So heavy," I complained. I flick through the book, reading the first line on the hundred and four pages. Oh, it's about law.

Hindi ko namalayan na nag-eenjoy na pala ako sa pagbabasa kaya kahit dumating si Croisx ay hindi ko na 'to binitawan.

"What are you doing?" he asked when he caught me in the act. "Attempting to be a lawyer, hmm?"

He sat at my side, placing the food he bought on the table. Kaagad niyang inasikaso ang mga pagkain na binili niya.

I looked at him, frowning. "I'm just reading your book."

"Oh, yeah?" he slowly reclined the bed so I could eat properly. "Here's your food," he gave me the box of pizza.

I accepted it. "Thanks," I pulled one slice and bit on it. My eyes glistened with delight as I swayed my body while eating. I saw him smiling. "Gusto mo ba?" I offered since he was watching me eating.

He nodded, not releasing his eyes on me.

"Okay," I was expecting him to get a new pizza, but then he bit the exact place where I bit the first slice. I immediately felt my cheeks flared up.

My heart pounded in my chest faster than before.

"May laway na 'yon, eh!"

"It doesn't matter," he answers with a wolfish grin.

I just snorted and continued eating. I scoop an amount of ice cream, savoring it in my mouth before swallowing it. Nakakatatlo na akong subo nang may maalala ako.

Mabilis akong tumingin sa kanya at sumalubong kaagad sa akin ang mga malamlam niyang mata.

"I'm going back to New York this Saturday. A day after the couture show," I muttered, making his lips parted a bit.

His throat bops. "Do you want to have dinner with me?"

I quickly looked at him. We stared at each other for a few minutes before I answered. "Sure," his expression brightens.

The days went by smoothly. When the haute couture fashion show arrived, our family driver took me to the venue. Wearing a white Prada tank top and black leather pants, I walked elegantly inside the venue. Marami ang mga napalingon at napatigil sa ginagawa nang dumating ako sa loob. I gave them a warm smile.

"Khrizanta Altamirano! Oh, god! You're here, dear! A pleasure to meet you!" The director of the show gave me a warm embrace when I entered the waiting area. "You're so gorgeous! I've been preparing for this day! The highest-paid model will walk and represent my creation. Oh dear! I'm now the happiest designer in the world!"

I chortled. "Nice to meet you, Laura." I greeted her with a warm smile on my face.

Wala akong kakilala sa mga modelo pero ako, kilalang-kilala nila. I only know the designer itself because she's famous in Milan. Nabigla nga ako nang sinabi ni Denver na dito niya sa Pilipinas gagawin ang show niya. It was rare, new and refreshing.

After the makeup artist finished my makeup, I'm now wearing a silver sweetheart neckline with a lavishly embellished liner sequin sheer ball gown. The dress has a delicate surface cut on the waist.

My hair was in a slick back bun, and my make up was retro with modern glittery and sparkling silver beads and pearls in my eyelids. 

There's a short speech before starting the event. Since I will walk on the last, I am still waiting in the waiting area with the team. Watching the models ramping up on the long stage with their creative outfits, I couldn't help but be impressed.

When it was my turn, I entered the stage with charisma, elegance, and confidence. It's a haute couture, so my walk was just solemn, not too bouncy and fast. Everyone was watching me with astonishment in their eyes.

Malapit na ako sa dulo ng stage nang may mahagip ang mga mata ko. Croisx was sitting on the second line of the seats, looking so bored while reading a booklet. But he immediately shifted on his seat when he saw me. He glued his gaze in my direction, closely watching me as his lips parted in awe.

I looked away and maintained my posture. Even after passing his place, I could still feel his hot and intense gaze on me. Damn it! Why do I suddenly feel nervous because he's here?!

When I entered backstage, my lips parted when I saw a bunch of flowers on top of my table. Lagpas sampu yata ang mga bungkos nang bulaklak na nasa lamesa ko.

"Miss Khrizanta, these flowers were from your fans." one of the staff came closer in my direction.

I blinked, still couldn't talk. Seriously?! Ang akala ko ay tig-iisa kami ng mga modelo!

I forced smile, still in awe. "Thank you," sabi ko at kumuha ng isang bungkos ng bulaklak. "Are they still outside?"

Tumango siya. "Opo. Hindi po sila nakapasok lahat, eh. Masyado po kasing marami,"

"Oh," I bit my bottom lip. "Okay. Thank you," I said with a small smile.

Nang makaalis siya, mabilis kong binasa ang mga notes na nasa bulaklak. Each flowers are from my fansclub. Mukhang magkakaroon pa yata ako ng instant meet and greet mamaya.

Nahuli kong nakatingin sa akin ang mga kasama kong modelo. Some were looking at the flowers I just received from the fans. Their eyes scream jealousy and displeasure. I forced a quick smile before looking away and minding my own business. 

I took my phone and took a picture of the bouquet. I'll post this on my Instagram later to thank my fans.

Some of the models approach me after a while. They asked for a picture with me. May iba pa na nagpapavideo greeting. Ayos lang naman sa akin. It's not a big deal. Nang medyo kumalma na ang paligid, nagsimula na kaming magbihis dahil may after party pa.

Despite being completely bushed after the long day, I still have some energy to pig out. I have a dinner date with Croisx in a Japanese restaurant. Did I say date?! It's a friendly date, though! He told me that he already made a reservation. So what I have to do is to be pretty and to show up.

I'm not yet sure what to wear, but I want it to be appealing and casual. In the end, I wore denim shorts and a crop top hoodie. I paired the outfit with white rubber shoes. I sprayed my perfume before I decided to wear a gold necklace just to add a chicness to my simple outfit.

Minutes passed, and Croisx came to my doorstep wearing a black short-sleeve button-down shirt, black cargo pants, and white athletic shoes. He was wearing a silver Patek Philippe watch on his right wrist. That's so expensive!

"Did you wait for too long?" he asked apologetically. I caught his eyes, skimming my outfit.

I arched a brow. "No, you're just in time," I kept my tone as casual as possible. "Let's go?"

He ran his fingers through his drenched hair before he nodded. We marched towards the elevator, and in no time, we reached the parking area. He glanced at me before he pulled the cover of a motorcycle, revealing a white with red and black linings ducati big bike.

He's really wealthy! As far as I know, this model costs at least two million!

"You're rich, huh?" I commented. "You don't have a car?" I asked in curiosity.

He shook his head. "I-I don't drive cars."

My lips formed a nought before I nodded. "Fair enough,"

Croisx pulled out two helmets from the chamber and showed them to me. It's a black and matte pink helmet. May tatak na spyder ang parehong helmet sa gilid. May pangbabae siyang helmet? Ilang babae na kaya ang nakasakay dito? I tasted the bitterness of my thoughts.

"You are going to use this helmet," he said in a soft tone of voice.

"Pink helmet, huh? Marami kana sigurong babaeng naisakay dito," I let out a smirk to hide my strain inside.

His forehead wrinkled as he looked at me. "There's only one woman I allow to ride my bike," he clarified.

"Tapos ako 'yong pangalawa? Nice," matabang kong sagot. I was about to snatch the helmet in his grip so I could put it in my head when he slid the helmet over my head before he opened the visor so I could see him clearly.

"Let's not fight over a helmet, okay?" his tone was so gentle, like a lullaby. "How much assurance should I give you so you would know that I'm all yours, hmm? Tell me, mi vida. So I know,"

My heart beat faster when our eyes met. His eyes were so gentle so was his voice.

I cleared my throat. "Y-You don't have to do or prove anything to me, okay? We're not in a relationship, right?" I tried so hard to be casual.

He sighed as his face grew serious. "Trust me, you are the only one I want." banayad ang kanyang boses, nanlalambing.

I abruptly bit the inside of my cheeks when my stomach fluttered. Fuck! He wore his helmet and climbed on the motorcycle, moving slightly forward to make just enough room for me to sit behind him. Then he taps the sit on his back, telling me to sit.

My heart melted when he fixed the rear footrest so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable before I climbed off. It's just a simple gesture, but it really warms my heart.

Gladly, I chose to wear shorts and not a skirt. I climbed on gingerly and blushed when he held my arms and encircled them on his hard and lean stomach.

"Hold on tight," I heard him demand before the motorcycle thundered loudly, and we immediately plummeted onto the road.

I tightened my grip on his stomach when the strong winds welcomed us with force. Since the visor was open, I tilt my head up to see the dark skies dotted with a million droplets of white sparkling paint. I breathed through my nose and smiled as I let my eyes pass in every site we passed.

He parked the motorcycle in the parking lot when we reached our destination. He jumped off the motorcycle, grabbed my hand, and gingerly pulled me off with him. I bit my bottom lip in his sudden action.

I gaze up at him as he rips my helmet off my head. He stared down at me before I felt his hand on my hair, brushing it back to its normal state.

"There you go, pretty," he praised randomly.

I immediately blushed at his compliment. I swallow, trying to calm my heart. He looks away and clears his throat before looking at me again.

"Let's go inside. . ."

"Sure," I muttered.

Pagpasok namin sa loob ay kaagad kaming nilapitan nang nagpakilala na manager ng restaurant. Japanese 'yon kaya si Croisx na ang kumausap, although I can understand them naman since I am multilingual. I heard him calling Croisx 'Kachou', or maybe I just made a mistake when I heard it.

Inabala ko na lang na suriin ang paligid. The restaurant has neutral palettes of beige and off-white and minimal Japanese-modern style. There are low dining tables, a built-in table for introverts, and a built-in banquette for friends or family.

There are LED lighting systems integrated into the walls and ceilings, casting different vivid colours like the rainbow. May malaking salamin kung saan kitang-kita ang mga nangyayari sa labas pero kapag nasa labas ka, hindi mo makikita ang nangyayari sa loob. This place is oddly familiar.

"Hey? Let's sit," Croisx came back with the menu in his hand. I nodded quietly and followed him.

Croisx pulled a chair for me, and I thanked him for doing it willingly. "What do you want to eat?" Croisx asked, making me look at him.

I briefly scanned the menu he brought. According to their menu, all their foods were authentic Japanese since the chefs and the assistants were Japanese.

"I'll have Shoyu ramen and California roll," I muttered. Hindi naman kasi ako masyadong gutom kaya 'yon lang order ko.

His eyebrows creased. "That's all?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He licked his upper lips before pressing his lips together. "All right," he answered before calling a waiter.

He ordered a lot for himself— Tsukemen ramen, Tempura, Okonomiyaki, and all flavours of sushis. Mauubos niya ba 'yon? Sobrang dami. Habang naghihintay ng mga order, tahimik lang kami. It was so awkward. I want to hide under the table.

Croisx never left his gaze on me because I could see him from my peripheral vision. His stare was too intense. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

"Why are you staring at me?" I turned at him, making him startled.

"Huh?"

I purse my lips. "May sasabihin ka ba? Tell me. You kept staring at me."

He nervously licked his lips. "I-I. . . I own this restaurant," he uttered.

I arched a brow. "I know,"

His eyes grew. "You knew?"

"I heard the manager calling you his boss," I muttered. He let out an exaggerated sigh after my statement. "So, tell me. Why a Japanese restaurant?"

He mulls for a second. Then, he gave him a small smile. "Well, I made a lot of precious memories here with someone very special to me." My heart went haywire upon hearing him. "I miss eating here with her, so I bought this restaurant when I got my first paycheck as an Engineer. Then, renovated it slightly."

My heart sank when I heard the continuation of his story. Damn it. I massaged my chest to ease the pain that I was feeling, but it didn't subside. I suddenly felt desirous of that person. Whoever she is, she's lucky because until now, Croisx is still in love with her. . .

© FM