I love you

     I PRESSED my lips against Croisx's soft lips for a goodbye. I smiled and gestured my hand in the air, telling him to leave.

His lips protruded a bit. "One more kiss and I'll leave." He muttered and pulled me against his body so he could kiss me. I couldn't help but moan when he bit my bottom lip and delves his tongue inside, causing the kiss to deepen.

Mahina ko siyang tinulak dahil halos higupin niya na ang labi ko. "Go, alis na. Baka malate ka,"

He pouted, sulking. "Okay.  .  . I'll see you later, babe."

I waved my hand at him as I watched him leave. Nang mawala na siya sa paningin ko ay pumasok na ako sa loob. I started doing content for work. I'm also answering emails from brands that want to collaborate with me.

The following days were like a roller coaster. November came to an end in a blink of an eye. December na ngayon, and this month will be the 3rd month since Croisx and I became boyfriend-girlfriend. Soon, when the right time comes, our paths will drift away like we didn't exist in each other lives.

We didn't see each other for two days because he went to Laguna with his groupmates for their thesis proposal. Croisx is busy, but he always has time for me. He always put me together with his priorities.

As for me, I spent myself accepting offers from brands. I have three schedules for shoots and events this week. I'm also excited to inform Croisx that I will walk in the runway fashion show again.

I was currently blow-drying my hair when I heard the doorbell rang. I immediately pulled the socket of the blow dryer and marched towards the door, revealing Croisx.

The moment the door opened, I immediately jumped off to hug him. My legs snaked around his hips while my arms were on his nape and his hand on my back, protecting me from falling.

Nagulat naman siya sa biglang pagyakap ko sa kanya. Nahulog pa ang bitbit niyang bag dahil sa pagsalo niya sa akin.

"Guess what?! I'm going to walk on the runway again this Saturday!" I announced cheerfully.

His eyes widened. "Really?! I'm so proud of you, mi vida." gumanti siya ng yakap sa akin at hinalikan ako sa noo.

He kicked the door to close it before he walked towards the sofa and sat down. Natawa ako sa ginawa niya. I am now sitting on his lap, nakaharap sa kanya. His hands were on my waist, supporting me.

"We need to celebrate? Hmm?" he whispered against my ears.

I licked my bottom lip and crawled my hands on his body. "What if we celebrate it on the bed?" I whispered, giggling.

His eyes abruptly flashed in burning lust.

"I like that." He muttered huskily and stood up, still carrying me like a sloth, and he was my tree.

I felt his hand crawl inside my clothes until it reached my chest. I saw him lick his lips before he captured mine for a kiss. His kisses went down to my neck, giving me soft kisses there.

He admiringly stared at my body after he successfully removed all of my clothes. He licked his bottom lips as he stared at me.

"You are so pretty, mi vida," he whispered against my skin, placing a quick yet gentle kiss on my lips before sucking my taut bud.

I bit my lips to stifle a moan when I felt his hand start to massage my mountains.

"Croisx. . ." I moaned his name when he started thrusting slowly inside me.

He showered me with kisses as his thrust became so powerful. My back arched when his lips moves way down to my chest, sucking and licking my boobs like it will wash his hunger. Sa bawat baon niya sa loob ko, nanginginig ang bawat paghinga ko.

My moans became needy, and desperate when I felt the sensation grow. Nahalata niya na malapit na ako kaya mas bumilis pa ang pagkilos niya. He moaned my name when I started mirroring his movements.

"Khrizanta. . ." he moaned.

Hindi nagtagal, pareho namin naramdaman ang mainit niyang likido na pumuno sa sinapupunan ko.

I felt his cock turn soft. Slowly, he pulled out and lay beside me. He immediately wrapped his arm around my waist, hugging me. Napapikit ako nang halikan niya ako sa tungki ng ilong.

"Sleep, mi vida," the only thing I remembered before the oblivion engulfed me.

The next morning, I woke up feeling energized. As usual, naunang nagising si Croisx. He was already all set with his outfit. Mukhang papasok na siya sa school.

He leaned closer and kissed me on my forehead. "Good morning, sleepyhead." He was smiling brightly. "I have a class today, so I already cooked your breakfast."

My brows furrowed. "You're not going to eat here?"

Umiling siya. "I have an early class, babe. I'll be back before 6 PM." He clarified. "Don't worry, I'm all yours for the rest of the week."

I grimaced. "It's Christmas break, of course!" I answered, slowly getting up from the bed. "But thank you for making me breakfast. I feel special." I uttered and sealed his lips with mine.

He smiled against my lips before reciprocating the kiss for a passionate one. A few seconds later, he bid his goodbye to me. I waved my hand as I watched him leave.

Nang makaalis na siya, dumiretso na ako pabalik sa kwarto para maghilamos. Mabuti na lang at hindi ako naglalaway kapag natutulog. I also ate breakfast after washing my face.

The Evening passes in a blur. Wala naman ako masyadong ginawa maghapon— naglinis lang ako ng buong unit at nang matapos, gumawa na ulit ako ng trabaho. Dumating si Croisx na may bitbit na pasalubong— isang box ng cinnamon roll.

We are on the veranda now. The strong wind blows against our skin. I was drinking coffee while Croisx was drinking milk. Pareho kaming may cinnamon roll sa platito. Our seats were facing the view of majestic metro lights. Except for the faint light from the moon, everything seems lifeless. There were barely any stars in the jet-black sky. The night feels lonely.

"It's my dad's birthday tomorrow," he states.

Napalingon ako sa kanya at nagtama kaagad ang mga mata namin. "Talaga? Have you bought something for him?"

He immediately shook his head and even slightly pouted. I smiled at his expression.

"Should we go buy your dad a gift?" I suggested.

His eyes immediately widened in excitement.

"You'll come with me?" Tumango naman ako kaya napangiti siya kaagad. "Okay! The mall is open until 11 pm naman. We still have 3 hours until it closes."

I nodded, sipping on my coffee. "Yup,"

"Then let's take a shower!"

I almost screamed when he immediately stood and carried me in a bridal way. Dumiretso kami sa banyo at sabay na naligo ng matino. Nang matapos, sabay pa kaming nagbihis. Dahil gabi na, pareho kaming nakasuot ng jacket ni Croisx. He was wearing a mint green hoodie and a black jogging pants. Habang nakasuot naman ako ng puting jacket at itim na leggings.

Nabawasan na talaga ang pagiging mahiyain niya dahil hindi na siya nahihiya sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang nakahubad.

Nang matapos kaming magbihis, pumunta na kami sa pinakamalapit na mall. We used Croisx's bike to get there quickly. Pumasok kami sa isang clothing store na puro mamahalin ang mga tinda.

"Your dad is a businessman, right?" tanong ko habang naglalakad kami sa bawat iasle. 

He nodded. "He's a lawyer, too," he added proudly. "My Dad doesn't have his own law firm because he focused on my grandfather's business," pagkukwento niya.

"Why? Is your father an only son?"

"Yup. Dad was the only successor of the Silvestre. That's why he inherited all of the wealth and companies of my grandfather when he died."

"Oh. . ."

I almost jolted when he intertwined my hand with his without saying anything. I bit my bottom lip and looked away, sighing.

We continued looking for a gift for his father until I saw something I believed would suit his father's taste. Dad always wears a dress shirt, so I think Croisx's dad would love it, too. Since they were both in the same business world.

"Let's go in that direction. I saw something that probably will suit your dad." I pulled him over to the dress Shirt's aisle.

Medyo nagtagal pa kami sa loob ng clothing store dahil bumili rin kami ng necktie, regalo ko 'yon. Although Croisx said there was no need for me to buy a gift for his father, I still insisted.

Nag-ikot-ikot pa kami sa mall hanggang sa magutom kami pareho. Wala akong nagustuhan na pagkain sa loob ng mall kaya lumabas kami. In the end, we decided to eat at Burger King.

Habang naghihintay kami ng order ay nagkwentuhan kami. I'm asking about the improvement of their thesis, and he seems happy because he was smiling while talking. Hindi siya pala-kwento pero ang dami niyang nasabi tungkol sa thesis nila.

Our topic shifted to what are his plans after graduating with his degree. He told me he wanted to build his own business. He was also planning to enter Harvard law school, which shook me entirely. Croisx was a genius, but I didn't expect him to enter law school.

"What if your company will be. . ." I trailed off. "Mi.croisx.oft Metal-steel construction company!"

He looked at me and chuckled. "Seriously? That sounds like a joke."

I scoffed. "Psh."

Ngumiti naman siya saka kinuha ang kamay ko at hinalikan ang likuran nito. "You're so pretty," he whispered before kissing my hand again.

I made a face and pulled my hand from him. "Live Jesus in our hearts, forever." I teased him.

His lips parted before responding, "Amen." following it with a laugh. Natawa rin tuloy ako kaya marami-rami ang napapalingon na crew sa amin dahil kami lang ang maingay.

"Here's your order, Sir. . ."

Nang dumating na ang order namin, natigilan kami pareho sa pag-uusap. Nagpasalamat kami ni Croisx sa server na nasa drive-thru bago kami umusad at dumiretso na pauwi. Sa bahay na lang kami kakain.

We were peacefully enjoying our breakfast in a private longue in Zuriel when one of my parents came in. Halos mabilaukan ako nang magtama ang mga mata namin ni Mommy. Her eyes landed on Croisx, who was sitting opposite her direction. She couldn't see his face and only his back. 

In a split second, a high-class woman came in and approached my mother. She's wearing a Gucci flap jacket blazer, underneath is a white dress shirt tucked inside the khaki checkered trousers, with a brown belt and a white stiletto. She's also wearing a Bottega Veneta gold-tone aviator. Her outfit screams old money.

"Kat, That's not our table," the woman muttered.

I recognised her. But from where?

Then, the realization hits me when Croisx tilts his head in their direction. He excused himself before standing up and approaching the woman.

"Mom?" I heard Croisx call the woman beside my mother.

Fuck! That woman is Croisx's mother!

She looked surprised to see Croisx, but then she hugged him. "I didn't expect to see you here, bunso." Then she glanced at me. "You're the girl Croisx talking about!" she muttered teasingly.

I don't know what to do. God, she knows me! Do I have to stand up and approach her or just smile? In the end, I forced an awkward smile.

"Mom!" Croisx blurted out to cut her off. "Don't say that in front of my girlfriend, please." I couldn't hear much of what Croisx said because it was mumble.

But the reaction of his Mom's laughter and Mommy's grin was enough for me to understand what he said. Mom even wiggled her eyebrows at me. Damn! Hot seat!

"I think we need to talk about this. . ." Mom butted in.

"Po?" Croisx looks confused.

Ngumiti si Mommy saka lumingon sa akin bago lumingon muli sa mag-ina.

"I want to get to know better my daughter's boyfriend." Mom uttered with a smile on her face.

Parehong laglag ang panga nang mag-ina. Damn it! This is supposed to be an ordinary breakfast, not a parent's meeting!

Croisx and I went to the gazebo garden of Silvermoon Tower. I've been living here for a long time, but I only found out now that there is a garden here.

Ang inaasahan kong maliwanag na garden ay madilim. Kung wala nga lang buwan o mga ilaw sa mga gusali ay iisipin kong nasa loob kami ng kweba.

I was startled when suddenly lights surrounded the whole place. I can't believe what I'm seeing.

Napapalibutan ang garden ng iba't-ibang bulaklak. There is also a small playground and a man-made falls. A pergola gazebo caught my attention.

Inside the pergola gazebo was a table for two decorated with mesh curtains and fairy string lights hanging on the timber post. My eyes settled on the centre table. It has one bottle of champagne with glasses and two sets of utensils. 

I immediately turned to Croisx, and my lips parted when he handed me a bouquet of lego flowers. I gulped and accepted the flowers.

"Wow." That was the only word I could utter.

"You like it?" he asked, which made me nod.

I slightly lifted the bouquet. "Thank you for this." I roamed my eyes around the area. "This garden is nice,"

Ngumiti siya lalo. "Hmm. . . Let's go," His hand flew to the small part of my back, touching me there before we marched towards the gazebo.

Croisx pulled a chair for me. "Have a seat, mi vida." He let me sit first before he sat in front of me.

"Thank you," My eyes roamed the table. The food was served, but still covered with silver lids. My stomach growls just in time, making us both laugh. "Should we start eating?" I asked him.

"Sure. Let's eat," he smiled at me.

We started eating the food that was served on the table. There's premium steak, pasta, fried chicken, cheeseball, puff wrapped pork tenderloin, cheesy baked salmon, and many more on the table. While eating, we had a background of mellifluous music coming from the speaker.

"I notice that you like cheesy baked salmon. Here's more,"

I smiled when Croisx spooned an amount of the mentioned viand on my plate.

"Thanks, babe. It's my favorite food," I answered and took a sip from my glass of wine without breaking our eye contact.

He smiled widely. "Happy monthsary, Mi vida."

My heart beat thump when he leaned closer and kissed my lips.

I felt my cheeks burned. "Happy monthsary," I forced a quick smile.

Sine-celebrate pala talaga 'yon?

Namayani ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin pagkatapos kumain. Hindi ko maitatanggi na nabusog ako ng sobra. I looked up when Croisx suddenly stood up from his chair, and sat beside me.

We stared at each other eyes for a minute. I thought he would kiss me, so I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for his lips, but after a second, no lips came.

Quickly, I opened my eyes. Croisx was eyeing me with a mischievous smile on his lips.

I held back a snarl. "Why are you smiling?"

His eyes lingered on mine. Hindi siya sumagot at tumitig pa sa akin ng mas matagal, parang sinusuri ang mukha ko. I couldn't help but let out a chortle because he looked silly just by looking at me. His dimple even made a quick appearance by biting off his smile.

I beamed. "I might melt if you kept staring at me—" he cut me off.

"Khrizanta Louisse, I love you." he whispered sincerely.

My smile faded. I felt my entire face scorch as my heartbeat went restless against my chest. Nakatingin lamang ako sa kanya, naghihintay na bawiin niya ang sinabi.

"What?" I blurted out.

Croisx can't fall for me. I'll just ruin him if he does.

I can't feel anything but my heart beating so fast. My eyes fell to my hand when he took it and intertwined it with his before placing it on his cheek.

"In 20 years of my existence in this world, I have only loved one woman, and that's you."

Nagtaas ako ng tingin at sinalubong ang namumungay niyang mga mata. I saw his eyes flickered in emotion. Mas bumilis pa ang tibok ng puso ko nang halikan niya ang likuran ng kamay kong hawak niya. He repeatedly kissed the back of my hand, and for the last time, he gazed up at me with a smile on his face. 

"Aren't you going to ask me why?"

A long silence prevailed over us when I didn't speak. Nahihirapan akong lumunok bago nagsalita.

"W-Why? Why do you love me?"

He rubbed my palm with his thumb. "While everyone is blue and green, you are the only one with the complete colour of the rainbow. . . You painted my life with so many colors." his voice was gentle and sweet.

A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, but it quickly fades.

"You are the girl I met at the most unexpected time, yet the best that ever happened to me," We stared at each other eyes. "You make me happy like no one else did."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita. Bahagyang umawang ang labi ko sa narinig. The beat of my heart doubled.

"Croisx. . ." biglang nabasag ang boses ko.

Our eyes lingered with each other. His eyes were heavy and overflowing with emotions.

I had a fair share of meetings with good-looking men almost all of my life, but there is something about Croisx. His deep-set, midnight gray eyes are hypnotizing me.

My eyes shut when I felt his thumb brush over my cheeks as he took my face in his palm.

"I didn't say my feelings for you to hear it back. . . I said it to make sure you knew." He whispered in a gentle, sincerely tone.

Slowly, my eyes opened and landed on him. "Croisx. . ." A droplet of water fell on my eyes.

"Khrizanta. . ." His face softened as he looped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.

The way he grabbed my waist sent millions of butterflies to my stomach.

No. . . I can't love him. I can't fall for him. I'm just using Croisx for my own sake, but why am I suddenly feeling this way? Hindi pwede. I don't have the right to love him. Hindi ako ang babaeng karapat-dapat sa kanya. I should forget this silly feeling for him.

I don't deserve his love. I don't deserve someone like him. He's too good for me. He's too pure, innocent, lovely for me. I can't taint him. I'll only ruin him.

© FM