SAVANNAH

"I'm sorry," I said as Em steered Bertha down the overgrown path to the gorge on Thursday night.

Immediately, Ryan's words came to mind.

Stop apologizing all the damn time.

He'd said that right before pushing me into a lake on the last day of a family vacation. And why? Because I couldn't stop apologizing for accidentally dropping his phone into the same lake a few days prior.

I'd cursed him for it back then, but, of course, he was right. Apologizing was like a reflex. But it was better to say sorry one too many times than to live in ignorance.

"What exactly are you sorry for?" Em grabbed her purse and grocery bag full of snacks from the backseat and gave me a hard stare.

"I don't know..." I shrugged. "Overthinking?"

"If anyone should be sorry, it's Derek." She bit her lip. "I know he's your first everything, but, Vee, maybe he isn't the right one for you."

Way to play right into my insecurities, Em.

"What are you saying?" I asked as she parked at the far end of the parking lot, away from most of the other cars.

So, he'd never come to any of my games, whatever. I could live with that, right? Not like I wasn't used to it. And Mom loved him. And I still did too...didn't I?

Then why did everything he did—or rather didn't do—bother me so much now? Maybe because if he still couldn't take me seriously, how could anyone else? How could mom?

"You know what?" She held her hands up in surrender as we made our way towards the party. "Just talk to him and see. No point speculating now anyway."

We were here early, but, apparently, so was everyone else. The parking lot connected right to a wide open meadow packed surrounded by evergreen trees. A ways down, the grass was replaced by gravel and sand. One large campfire in the middle of the beach illuminated a crowd of people in a warm orange glow. The sun hadn't set yet, but it wouldn't be long.

Someone had set up a huge stereo in the back of their pickup. Big black speakers stood facing the meadow and bodies moved in sync to the music. Club beats thrummed through my entire being and, for a moment, I missed the quiet the gorge usually came with.

"You're right," I breathed. "Sorr—I'll stop being a downer now."

"Don't worry, I'll just keep blaming Derek." Em smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Derek's car, which was apparently fixed, stood in the spot closest to the hiking trail leading up to the falls and eventually the high cliffs towering above the gorge. A few girls from the soccer team crowded around a barbecue, roasting what looked like breadsticks and marshmallows. The sweet smell of melted chocolate drifted over to us and I sighed happily.

"You see Derek anywhere?" I asked as we made our way over to the campfire.

She shook her head. "No, but he's gotta be around here somewhere, right?"

"Guys!" a high-pitched voice yelled over the music. "Hey, wait up!"

A blond girl in a light blue summer dress appeared right behind Em. With her hair messy and her usual posse nowhere to be seen, it took me a moment to recognize Natalie. She leaned forward, hands on her knees, as her chest rose and fell erratically.

Either she'd just run a mini marathon or she was upset. More likely the marathon. Natalie didn't get upset. She just upset other people—mostly with the help of her good friend Chloe.

"What do you want, Nat?" Em said, crossing her arms.

"Wh-where's..." She straightened up, blue eyes dancing between us. "Where's Marshall? I... I really need to talk to him."

Really now Chloe had sent her to straighten things out with Mars? That girl never took accountability for anything.

"You're outta luck," Em said. "He's not here, and I don't think he'll be coming either."

"Can you—"

"No, Nat." Em threw her head back and sighed. "I swear if Chloe can't understand the concept of a breakup, that's on her. My advice? Don't get involved."

Way to sugarcoat it, Em.

She wasn't wrong though.

"This isn't"—Natalie wiped her palms on fabric just above her knees—"this isn't about Chlo... I just... It's important. It's about—"

"We can't help you, okay?" Em said, rolling her eyes.

I never thought I'd see what could only be described as devastation on Natalie's face. She couldn't seriously be that upset, could she?

I felt myself frown.

More like Chloe had just taught her well. If that were the case, she probably wouldn't let it go until Nat reported back to her.

"Drew's your best bet," I said, avoiding Em's stare. "If anyone can get hold of Mars, it's him. He's probably around here somewhere."

"Thanks, Savannah," she managed before spinning around and practically sprinting down to the beach.

Guess she really had been running. Could have fooled me.

Before Em could lecture me, I pulled her toward the campfire, snatching the grocery bag from her in the process. "Three Musketeers s'mores?" I asked, knowing she couldn't resist.

I was right.

"Yes," she mumbled, already looking less grumpy.

Two s'mores and one of Tyson's Kool Aid punches later, we crossed the meadow over to the now full parking lot again. Still no sign of Derek. I checked my phone. Apart from a bunch of texts in the team chat, nothing.

My gaze automatically drifted to the narrow dirt path. "Maybe he went up to the viewpoint." I felt myself nod. "He's probably waiting for me there."

It kind of was our special spot. The place he'd first asked me out and kissed me freshman year. We'd sat on the old wooden bench overlooking Golden Veil Falls as its water plummeted into the river below. I'd been so damn nervous then. I wasn't now.

"I'll catch up with you later," I said, already moving toward the trailhead.

"Hey, Vee?" Em called after me.

"Yeah?"

"Don't..." She sighed. "Don't let him pretend everything's cool, alright?"

Would he really?

I nodded slowly, and made my way up the narrow dirt trail. The viewpoint wasn't far, but the path was worn and some of the protruding roots were a little slippery, especially for someone like me who was only wearing a pair of flip-flops.

After nearly faceplanting twice, I finally made it to the top, away from the smells of cheap alcohol and the constant pounding of the music. Seeing no sign of Derek, I followed the sounds of rushing water toward where I knew the falls would be.

Someone giggled nearby. And it wasn't Derek.

Sensing I would be interrupting someone else, I hesitated. At least until I recognized the voice to be Natalie's. Curiosity got the better of me and I walked on.

Running footsteps came up the trail behind me. So much for having a private conversation with my boyfriend. Annoyance replaced the anxiety, but I didn't stop.

"Vee!"

Em.

"Vee, wait!"

Derek's laughter rang through the trees up ahead.

Instantly, my gut told me something was off. My feet kept moving toward the sound.

Not even twenty steps later, I found him—shirtless, straddled by a familiar figure. Natalie's tongue was so far down his throat it was a miracle he wasn't choking. Both of them were too preoccupied trying to get into each other's pants to notice me.

It wasn't until Em skidded to a stop right next to me that Derek finally opened his eyes. Those stupid warm blue eyes widened considerably when they landed on me.

A choking sob threatened to break through. I swallowed it. If it wasn't for Em's arm latching onto mine, I probably would have stumbled black.

Derek didn't move—didn't even say a word.

"Oops."

Natalie. Of course it had to be her.

The startled expression on her face had been replaced by a smug one, and all signs of whatever had upset her earlier were gone. She really was an actress. Stifling a laugh with one hand, she looked oddly satisfied as she took me in.

The string of curses Em let loose would have probably made my ears bleed on any other day, but my mind was completely blank as I slowly backed away. Her arm finally dropped and I stumbled.

Eyes burning and vision starting to blur, I nearly ran down the trail. Halfway to the bottom, I slipped on a particularly gnarled root. A nearby branch saved me from faceplanting, but not from skinning my knee on the trunk of the tree it was attached to.

Warm liquid trickled down my shin as I continued down the trail. When I finally reached the meadow, I just ditched my flip-flops and sprinted. Em's voice followed me, but I didn't stop.

Only when I reached the bench behind the far end of the parking lot did I finally allow hot tears to spill from my eyes.

I wasn't blind or stupid, I was both. Just like that dumb note said.

***

MARSHALL

The barbell hit the rack above me with a loud clang. As the tension left my body, I closed my eyes and exhaled. Beads of sweat that had accumulated on my forehead would roll down my face the moment I sat up.

So, I didn't. Not like I was in a rush. Drew was still finishing his last set of bicep curls a few feet away from me anyways.

My shirt was drenched and I could barely feel my arms, but the smile on my face was as real as they got. I hadn't realized how much I'd needed this workout after such a long break. My legs would kill me tomorrow, but that was Future Marshall's problem.

A smelly towel landed right on my face, ruining my little moment of peace. Drew's amused laughter followed shortly after and I pressed the cloth to my forehead with a groan to wipe away the dampness.

"Come on, we're late," Drew said when I still hadn't made a move to get up.

This bench was pretty comfortable, especially today. Going to that damn party was the last thing on my mind. Chloe would be there, and dealing with more of her bullshit this soon was about as appealing as diving headfirst into a furnace.

Even though my message had been loud and clear, that girl was persistent and I was worn out. It would be better for everyone if she just left me alone. Too bad luck usually wasn't on my side.

"We're always late," I said, my voice muffled by the rough fabric covering my head. "Might as well not go."

"I wanna go."

"Yeah?" I pushed the towel off my face to grin at him. "Why's that?"

"S'mores, man." His eyes didn't quite meet mine. "And food."

Food, my ass.

"Sure, bro." I sat up and rolled my shoulders, clutching the towel in one hand to wipe the back of my neck. "Do me a favor, at least stop and get her a Crunch bar or something."

"She hates Crunch bars." He shook his head like it was obvious. "Three Musketeers are the way to go."

"Funny you should know that," I said.

"I pay attention," he grumbled. "Sometimes."

"To the right things, it seems."

He snatched the towel from me. "Shut up and get moving."

"Stop being dumb and I might."

"Easy for you to say," he muttered, suddenly looking defeated. "She's crazy smart and I'm just...barely passing."

"Do you really think she cares about that?"

"No...but her parents might."

"So, you'll deal with it. Or she will." I stood and stretched my sore arms. "Trust me, she's just waiting for you to make the first move."

"I don't know—"

"Andrew," I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "Just talk to her. Preferably before I lose my mind."

His shoulders dropped and he sighed quietly. "Okay. But only if you never used my full name again. Can we go now?"

"Anxious?"

Drew rolled his eyes and started towards the changing room, mumbling something under his breath. Probably cursing my very existence.

The prospect of a hot shower to relieve some of the remaining tension in my aching muscles made me quickly follow suit. Humid steam hit my front when I entered the showers, causing my already damp shirt to cling to my torso like a second skin. It soon landed on the floor with a soft thump, quickly followed by my shoes and the rest of my clothes.

Only when the hot water splashed the top of my head and started running down my neck and back did I finally start to feel human again. Too bad it was rather short-lived.

By the time I got out of the shower, Drew had apparently taken my advice and gone to the gas station to buy candy. I shook a decent amount of water out of my hair and stalked over to my gym bag, towel tied around my waist.

I was halfway across the locker room before I noticed the main compartment was unzipped, clean set of clothes exposed. My eyes immediately landed on the torn piece of paper atop my no longer folded sweatpants. Muscles taut with renewed tension, I snatched the note.

SEEING YOUR FACE EVERYDAY MUST BE HARD ON MOMMY

What the—

It only took me seconds to check the entire locker room. Empty. As expected. Still, someone had come in here during those few minutes I'd stayed in the shower and Drew had left.

Someone who knew I'd be here.