I shake my head. I had had a feeling since this morning, something was wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it but it was one of the things you just knew. I winced. I was never wrong with these feelings. Never, and I hated it.

I could call Denim...but something in my head said that I needed to go to Storm about this. I hadn't received his call that he was home. He had told me he would call.

I change out of my thin pajamas and into a pair of thick joggers and a hoodie. It's too cold to be out of bed. As I step out of my dorm in a pair of slippers and my phone in hand, I shiver. Early morning chills?

Walking through the halls, I notice how they're mostly empty. Probably because the student population collectively sleeps until 10:00 on Saturdays. A girl scurries from a hallway on my right rushing into another one, her footsteps echo against the cold walls. Of course, there are exceptions.

I dwell on her to distract myself from the feeling in my stomach. What's going on in her life? Was she in her boyfriend or girlfriend's room, scurrying out before the staff checks in? Maybe she's from the kitchen, craving an early morning chocolate. Or from a late night studying session in the library? I let myself pretend everything was normal. Maybe it was.

Finally reaching Storm's room at the top of the tower, I paused for a moment catching my breath, that was one long climb. I found myself thinking about how Storm did it everyday. I paused my train of thought, knowing I couldn't prolong this anymore. I convince myself I'm just being dramatic.

Knocking on the door, I shift to lean against the hallway wall. After a few seconds, a groggy Storm opens the door.

"It's too fucking ear-" he pauses when he sees me and for a moment his eyes widen. I sense panic in his expression and body movement and step back.

"Blaise," he says.

"That's my name," I quip.

He doesn't crack a smile. He doesn't greet me or invite me in. He doesn't pull me into a warm hug.

He just stands there looking at me, and I see the wheel's in his head turning. "Listen, I need to go back to sleep, we were up late last night and I have a Corporis specialty exam on Monday," he says, his tone definite.

I decide to ignore it. Maybe this is just an early morning Storm, definitely not a morning person. I crack a smile. "Since when do you care about tests?" I say, teasing.

His expression remains blank. "I need to focus on graduating, Blaise. I can't fool around anymore."

My heart cracks a little. He was fooling around with me? I know what fooling around means. It means harmless flirting, maybe a quick "hey" in the hallways, not going on dates and bringing me flowers and watching movies in my room.

I take another step back. His eyes, mouth, face, everything is blank. Like I'm a stranger. It hurts. Another crack on my heart.

"Fooling around?" I ask.

He nods. "I need to go back inside, Blaise. So if we're done here, I'm going to go get some sleep," his tone is emotionless as if he's talking to the pizza man. Except it's so, so, so, much worse.

I feel my eyes tear up a little. No, you are not going to cry over some tired person. It's probably just the time. He was up late last night.

I give him a small nod.

He slams the door in my face.

It isn't even a slam. That's the worst part. It's normal. It's just him closing the door. As if I'm anybody, just a random girl who was walking in this hallway.

And the third crack of my heart cracks everything. A lonely tear finds its way down my face. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Something was wrong from the moment I woke up today. I bury my face in my hands, rubbing any wetness away.

Looking back at the door once, I run from the building but not before I hear a sob from the other side of Storm's door. I shake my head, telling myself I imagined it.

"Maybe he's gay," Denim tells me as he lies on the couch. His expression is forced amusion.

He had called me at noon, apologizing for reacting the way he did. He didn't say anymore on the topic and when I told him what had happened that morning, he didn't even bother feigning shock.

He knew something. I had to get it out of him but I couldn't just ask him. He'd fly out of here faster than I could say "suspicious".

I force a chuckle. "He isn't. Trust me, he sure as heck isn't gay."

There's a silence.

Denim and I have never been awkward before. We've been closer than a pair of thieves since I was born. The last time we were like this was after Mother left.

I sigh. "Well," I say, tapping my fingers on the kitchen counter. "I should probably bury myself in these files for a while longer, maybe I'll find something."

Denim nods, a relieved look on his face. "Yeah, I should get going too," he says, grabbing his jacket and backpack. "I'm actually leaving tomorrow night. We should meet for dinner."

I nod. "Text me."

He leaves.

Rubbing a hand across my face, I take out the student files. A feeling of hopelessness overcomes me as my heavy hand lays them out, sorting them by rank and division.

An hour later, I groan in frustration. Life just needs to hand me an answer key right now.

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Tears of frustration fill my eyes. Why is this so hard?

I know I'm more upset about Storm than this but like I said. I've never been a good reactor to failure. If this is what the rest of my life's going to be like, take me back. I rub my eyes with my hands.

Maybe I should just...take a nap. Nap's are supposed to help clear your head and think clearly...right?

I lay down a little, pulling a blanket from the side of the couch. It smells like Storm. Taking in the comfort of it, I drift off.

The doorbell rings, waking me up from my... four-hour nap. I throw my head back. Lazy days are great when you don't have shit to do but when you do, they just make you feel like death. I groan.

Walking to the doorbell, fully awakened by the dread of who it could be, I open it.

There he is. Storm. Goddamn. Marelle.

I study him. To the average person, I guess, he would seem fine. Better than fine maybe. Not to me though, he hasn't slept. He hasn't eaten. Guessing from the stench following him, he hasn't even showered.

That is one intense study session.

Storm looks up at me, still not meeting my eyes. "Can we talk?" he asks.

My face falls with my shoulders. His tone wasn't the one I'd wanted.

I force a soft smile. "Yeah, come in," I say.

He comes in, his form stiff, a stark comparison to last night.

I shut the door behind him.

"We can't see each other anymore," he says. His expression and voice carry the same blankness from the morning. I can tell it's schooled.

I exhale the breath I didn't know I'd been holding in. Taking a moment to swallow his words, I look to his left, studying the toaster on the kitchen counter for a moment. It just feels dry, my throat, my eyes, my lips. 

A warped lump forms in my throat. I clear my throat but it doesn't help. Not being able to say much, I open my mouth. "Okay." My voice doesn't break and I'm grateful. 

"Okay."

He would've made a The Fault in our Stars reference right now.

I don't bother asking what happened. It would only crack my heart more.

"I am sorry," he offers.

I nod. I don't need his apology. I shouldn't have let my guard down, I shouldn't have let my guard down, I shouldn't have let my guard down.

I reach inside myself for a smile. Clutching onto nothing, I force a small, practiced smile with impossible strength. 

"Thanks for letting me know," I say, my voice polite and apathetic. "I'm glad I could help you fool around."

His eyes shift, looking everywhere but at me. He nods. 

I shake my head at myself as I open the door for him letting him back out.

Storm doesn't meet my eyes as he walks out.

Shutting the door behind me, I carry myself to my room before collapsing onto my bed.

For the first time in years, I cry myself to sleep.

Dee:

*cri*

I know, I know that didn't have nearly enough emotion. i SWEAR I'LL FIX IT ALL WHEN I EDIT SMH~

Anyway, I hope I broke your heart and if I didn't...*cri*

I HAVE AN EXPLANATION THOUGH- I'm tired. Welp, pathetic little me. 

I'm totally okay rn. 

Thank you for readinggg!

19, 500 words!!!!!!!

Lmk what you think <33