It's a different feeling when laying in the arms of someone else. Bradley is on his back and I'm lying next to him, my head on his shoulder as his fingers play with my hair. He brushes his nose against mine, looking me in the eyes with a smile before kissing me. Only a few hours ago, Bradley and I weren't even on speaking terms and now we're cuddling on his, not so tidy anymore, bed.

Our fingers lace and I smile lightly before kissing the back of his hand.

"It's getting late, but you can, um-" He clears his throat. "You can stay over if you want."

I raise my arched brow at him. "Stay over, huh?"

He chuckles. "Not like that."

"Oh."

"Not that I don't want to. I mean, I do want to..."

I smile. "I'd love to."

To my surprise, Bradley turns his back to me and grabs my hand to wrap it around him. His ass presses against my groin and I try hard to suppress my oncoming boner. He hugs my arm tightly to his chest.

"I'm a virgin, you know." His voice is careful, quiet.

"You are?" I frown. "But what about the girlfriends you've had?"

"You mean my beards?" He laughs. "I wasn't going to sleep with them if I'm not into them. I doubt I'd be able to get it up, anyway."

My frown deepens. I was able to 'get it up' with the girls I made out with at parties before I learned my sexuality. Does that make me less gay?

"How are we going to do this? Be together, I mean?"

Bradley turns to me and brushes my cheek with his thumb. "I don't want to be out just yet."

"Me neither. I'm terrified to go to school on Monday. There's no way I want you to go through that, too. If it were up to me, I would have been in the closet for the rest of my life."

He frowns, moving some of the hair out of my face. "Are you really that ashamed of being gay?"

A heavy sigh escapes my lips. "Not ashamed. Just scared of what others think of me."

"Well, you don't have to worry about me, because I think you're amazing." He smiles brightly and kisses me.

"Stop. I'm not amazing." My eyes lower keep him from looking into them. "I was an asshole to you, and I'm sorry."

"You don't have to keep apologizing."

I manage a half-smile. "I know."

We spend the rest of the night talking about how this relationship would work out. Since Charlette and Bradley have been seen around school enough together, making them official in the public eye would be easy. Plus, it would give Bradley an excuse as to why he'd be coming over to my place. It would be the perfect cover - if Charlette agrees, anyways.

Come Monday, the plan is in action. Bradley picks Charlette and me up on the way to school. I sit in the front until we are a block away, then Charlette and I switch places.

"This is stupid." Charlette groans as she struggles with the seatbelt. "You two shouldn't have to go to such lengths just because our school is filled with such bigoted asshats."

I try to put on a brave face thinking about how today will go. Since probably everyone is in the know about my sexuality, today will basically be my biggest nightmare come to life. If it weren't for Charlette practically dragging me out of bed, I'd still be in the safety of my covers.

"It's ridiculous." Bradley turns into the school parking lot. "I mean, you'd think people would get over themselves and mind their own business."

Bradley parks the car and is about to step out when I stop him. "You two need to hold hands and you should kiss her cheek."

They both turn to me with confused looks.

"Hare, you sure you're okay with this?" My sister's voice is full of uncertainty.

I nod. "It was my idea. Plus, it needs to be convincing."

Charlette sighs. "Okay."

Together, we get out of the car and I walk on their heels as the two of them play a couple. The worst part of all of it is how cute they look together. Shocked expressions follow them as they head towards the building belonging to those who probably never thought they'd see the day that Charlette would get a boyfriend. A part of me wishes it is me at Bradley's side that holds everyone's attention. A very small part, but I can't help the twinge of jealousy that pokes at me.

Once inside, Bradley kisses Charlette on the cheek, sending me a sheepish wave before heading in the direction of our first-period class. I stay behind with my sister for a second.

"Thanks again for doing this, Char." I smile appreciatively at her.

She shrugs. "It's no biggie. You know I'll always have your back."

The longer we walk down the hall together, the more faces glance my way. With every additional set of eyes, I feel myself shrinking more and more.

"Just ignore them," she says as she pulls me along.

That's easy for her to say, she's apparently had plenty of practice dealing with rumors and judgemental faces. My face burns hotter as we head for our lockers and just when I think I've made it through the hardest part, Rodney turns the corner. He smirks widely and all the color drains from my face.

Brett and Cole are at his side and the air suddenly feels thick and hard to breathe. With wide eyes, I stare at them. They don't do or say anything to me, but the way they whisper to each other and laugh makes me bolt right out the side doors, ignoring Charlette's distressed voice calling after me. I lose her quickly and run in the direction of the building that has always given me shelter when I sought comfort.

Chlorine and warm air hit me right away when I push through the doors. Tears blur my vision as I sit down on the bleachers looking over the water. They roll down my cheeks and I use my sleeves to wipe away at them. I ignore text after text, asking where I am.

There's also one from Bradley. Char said you bolted. Where are you?

I ignore it and lean over with my head in my hands as the tears keep rolling.

The bleacher shifts beside me and I glance over to see Austin sit down. Out of all the people who would find me, Austin is the last person I expected. With how our last conversation went, I thought he wasn't going to talk to me again. I thought for sure I had freaked him out enough for him to keep his distance. Yet, here he is.

A heavy weight surrounds him. His shoulders sag, his eyes almost blood-shot, and that cocky grin he usually wears is nowhere to be found. The silence isn't awkward, but intentional as he waits for me to speak. I don't want to, but eventually, I find my voice.

"Whittney's the one who outed me." I laugh to myself. "He even told me he would, and I was still shocked when it happened. All this time, I thought that he-"

I stop, not wanting to say something that would let Austin piece it all together. Whittney might have outed me, but even still, he doesn't deserve the same fate. He's been through enough in his life.

"I thought he was my friend." I look down at my hands, picking at a hangnail.

Austin sighs. "I thought he was mine too, alright? But he really fucked up this time. You deserve a better friend than that."

"Right." I scoff. "Like you?"

It hadn't occurred to me just how upset I was with Austin until now. How upset I still am. He isn't innocent in all this either. In fact, his rejection and harsh words were what sent me over the edge that night.

"Harry, look..." His hand brushes through his thick hair when he pauses. "I shouldn't have said all those things to you when we last talked. I guess I got caught off guard. Not that that's an excuse. You, um." He pauses a moment, looking down and back up at me again. "You don't still have feelings for me, right?"

The hopefulness in his voice makes me sigh. "I don't. At least, I don't think I do. I guess there will always be a small part of me that has feelings for you. But, you said it yourself. You and I will never happen, and I'm okay with that."

"Harry—"

"Oh, God." I blink my tears away again. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

Austin hesitates a moment before placing his hand on my shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with you. There's something wrong with Whittney. There's something wrong with anyone who thinks differently about you because of this. And I'm sorry for being one of those people."

Silence surrounds us again as I wipe my runny nose and sniffle. "I thought you hated gay people . . . like your dad."

I try to wipe our last encounter out of my mind. I've tried to since it happened, but it's something that's hard to forget. Andrew has always been like that. He invades your mind and then doesn't leave.

There's an immediate change of expression when I mention his father. "I'm nothing like Andrew." He spits it out as if he believes it's the truth, but then he looks down as if he's doubting himself. "Fuck."

"What is it?" My curiosity peaks. "Did something happen?"

Austin nods. "I hurt Sabrina." He looks back to me to see my reaction, but quickly continues, "It was nothing serious. I mean, I didn't hit her, I swear. When I grabbed her wrist, I didn't know I was hurting her until she broke down on the floor." His voice breaks. "I-I didn't mean to hurt her."

"This isn't your fault." That's the first thing that comes out of my mouth, even though I don't fully believe it. "This is on your dad and how he brought you up. What he puts you through gets in the way of the good person I know you are. Whether it's on the surface, or deep down."

"No. This is all on me." To my surprise, he doesn't take the easy out as I expected. "Andrew threw a lot of punches, but I can't blame him for who I am and what I do. I'm the one who hurt Sabrina. It was me who said awful things to her and cheated. I don't remember the last time I took responsibility for something I've done, and it's about time I do."

I find myself nodding. "So, what now?"

"Well," he clears his throat. "For starters, I'm going to win my girl back."

"You really . . . love her." I smile up at him. "Don't you?"

His eyes go soften and I see a little bit of his old spark in them. "I really do."

"Then that's all that matters."

I don't believe my own words. If that were true, I would have crawled back to Whittney already. As much as I hate myself for it, I'm in love with him. Even through everything, I can't shake him, and it's torture.

It's just pure torture.

***

Sorry I was MIA for a while! Work and depression have been rough for a little while so writing was put on the back burner for a little while. Hopefully, you all liked the chapter! If you think the chapter deserved it, please click on the little star in the corner. And I always love to hear from you guys, so please leave a comment letting me know what you think!

Hopefully more on the way soon,

TheWriterD