Weekend Getaway by @fluteQueen03

Brilliant description at the beginning. The fact that you used description at the start perfectly showed Brooke's desperation.

Numbers spelled out look more formal.

You need a comma before ending dialogue if you have a dialogue tag after it (so anything that's like he said/she said). It also has to be in lower case too. The opposite applies for dialogue with action (so full stop and captial letter).

Commas before names.

The characters were realistic and likeable. I know this is a personal story of yours which I kept in mind while reading and this really enhanced it (that's why I think you should add more about it being based on you, since it adds something extra to the story).

Apostrophes of possession were sometimes missed but I think that was more a typo than anything else.

Overall, a lovely start. Quite slow but that's fine (actually, it reminds me of a book called Little Steps by @midnightsxmoonlight. Check it out if you want).

I'm afraid that I'm quite busy and I don't think I'll be able to do any other chapters. I've suddenly had a load more submissions come through. Anyhow, I think the things listed here will really help you move forward and there are nothing bad with the story otherwise!

Remember that this is a critique, NOT a criticism. Please spread the word!

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