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#45 Taken By A Bear

Taken By a Bear by @BDTownes

You need commas before names.

When you have an adjective and then gerund you need to have a hyphen in between them.

The whole bear thing was very intriguing!

You had very occasional spelling errors like 'torcher' instead of 'torture'.

Every new speaker needs a new line.

Some paragraph breaks were slightly off but I commented on these for you.

Great character development. I really resented Jake and found myself liking Sage a lot. And it takes a lot to make me like a character. :)

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