Pandora High by @Veritas2357

The paragraphs were too long. I would split them into reasonable chunks (I suggested a few places. Use them as a guide for the rest.)

At the end of speech, there needs to be a comma, and the dialogue tag should be in lower case.

I liked the realism with the teacher and his art. That was funny. :)

New speaker=new line. This will also help clear up the paragraph problem.

I would say you could do with more variety in sentence length (most of them are simple and it gets a monotonous after a while. Maybe consider joining the related ones with a semi colon).

Marcus was likeable and so were the rest of the characters. Apart from grammar and formatting, it was a good job well done! Great tension.

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