Bago simulan ang pagbabasa, lawakan muna ang pag-iisip. Maaaring may mabasa kang hindi magugustuhan ng iyong mata't damdamin, sana ay huwag mo gaanong dibdibin. Ang lahat ng nakasulat ay batay lamang sa kaalaman at opinyon ng iyong kritiko, sana ay may matutunan ka mula rito.

-JL

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Book Title: The Mafia Boss Wife
Author: Blyrie
Critique made by: eunicornwithoutahorn

∞Title:

The Mafia Boss Wife. The title is direct to the point. It holds the subject of the story or main protoganist. Direct titles is also good for a story instead of titles that is really hard to comprehend. I like the title the way it is, but if you also want to make it even more interesting. You may use different subject to make the title intresting to the viewers point of view.

∞Book Cover:

The cover is simple yet elegant. You can really see the connection of the cover to your story. I actually like this kind of genre kaya mas nagustuhan kong basahin ang story mo.

∞Blur and Epilouge:

The blurb leaves a really interesting question. Like how did his wife got lost? How did she end up in the beach and what is the reason why it all happened. Leaving a lot of unanswered questions in the blur is a good thing. I like it.

∞Characterization:

Just on the first chapter, a lot of characters was introduced. There is the main character (Mr. Vaughn) and his subordinates. Then there is also his wife Shan and the twins. Ang medyo hindi ko lang naging bet is yung part na hindi mo masyado dinescribe yung character mo. Yes, we all know that this Vaughn is a male and a mafia leader/boss. But the readers can't grasp his character. For a story (credits to my friend who told me this) you must grasp the readers attention at the very first appearance of your characters. Leave an impression so that the readers won't forget the character that you made. For Vaughn and the rest of your characters, that is what you're lacking. But the cliffhangers do really help. Leaving a hanging sentence or phrase in the end of the chapter is a good thing to make the readers continue reading to answer their hanging questions.

As for the names, I suggest to tell the names of your characters at the first chapters or on the first appearance of that character in a chapter articulately. I admit that I had a hard time remembering their names since you did not clearly stated it.

∞Plot&Settings:

I can't really judge your plot since I did not finish reading the whole novel. But for the first five chapters, I can say that it is quite used for a mafia story. Since the novel is completed already, I am sure you added a lot of plot twist and obstacles to your story. It is great actually cause it will push the reader to find what they wanted to see, and that will make them continue from reading your story.

As for the setting, you made it all very clear. The transitions is good, I had nothing to say about it. Thumbs up!

Narration and Dialouges: The narration is good. You can express your character views, however, I noticed the italics dialouges on the chapters and most of them are coming from Vaughn. Its just confusing. You also forgot to capitalize the pronouns.

∞Opinion as a READER:

As a reader, the concept is catchy especially for those who like that kind of genre. It caught the readers who like general fiction, action and romance. I once liked those things especially when the woman got impregnated by a high-ranking man (mafia, CEO, chairman etc.) it also suits in my taste. I might continue reading it in the future.