User name :- dreamfloats

Title: Baby fat

Title : I think the title could be more intriguing and if the title is for a reason then it's fine.

Cover : I liked the cover with the cat better. That kind of related to the story.

Summary : It's okay but can be better.

Story :

The starting line is always important since it speaks louder than any other pages in a book. And you did pretty good with the starting line which is also relevant to the story.

Using "next" is a bit odd while reading. Just go on with the flow. The transition doesn't have to be indicated with "next".

There is a place where his mom talks to him in kitchen but closing the garage door behind her while she leaves - make it clear if there is a garage door from their kitchen.

The descriptions are overwhelming - with the colour of the counter he leans in and all, while the book lacks emotions. Put some emotions - how Bradley feels when his mom n dad talks to him - hurt, frustrated.

There are some sentences that doesn't flow well. Honestly, I don't know how to explain it. I'll show you some examples,

(your line) Bradley rolls his eyes, takes a drink from his diet coke, swallows and then intertwines his hands together. He places his forearm on the table.

(suggestion) Bradley rolls his eyes, sipping his diet coke. Putting the coke can down, he placed his forearms on the table and intertwines his fingers together.

Those sentences are bit awkward to read.

Plus : The plot is promising. Unlike cliché high school famous kids, some popular kids mingle with the other group. And like i excepted, Bradley isn't alone. And you mould in the homosexual (or bi) pretty well. I feel this book deals with more than one problem - I saw the slut shaming comment as well. Really good!

Negative : too much grammar switches - present and past tense in same sentence (as you've mentioned the book is being edited, guess that will rectify this problem.)

Overwhelming descriptions - tone down a notch so that you won't push readers too much into details.

Lack emotions - okay so since it's from a guy pov, I can get if he is too nonchalant about the way he was treated by his family and friends, but still there had to certain emotions he must feel, (not for being fat) like when his mother and later his sister talk about putting up some weight, when the jock called him loser - add some. Make it perfect.

We all do have the negatives I stated above... Editing would do good to the book since I really enjoyed the book myself.

Rating : 7/10

By :- Akiprabagar

Happy Writing :-)