User : ForeverChanged02

My opinion :-

All eight chapters that I read, I found this piece predictable but interesting. The characters are distinct and stark; if it's an asshole, it's completely AN ASSHOLE kind of a thing... To make things straight as per the last line, I thought that her characters lacked variety and a mix in personality, save for the MC, of course.

Grayson's personality is appealing to me, like a palate with a lot of different spices; she can be hot-headed and at other times, calm and collected, smart-mouthed, also demure and polite... So, well, I will point out here that the author has concentrated well on her MC's personality, but then lazed and dozed through the personalities of the supporting characters; Cale is just a jerk, Bailey is almost insignificant...

Moving on to the plot, it is interesting. Amongst the characters that made me nod to zzzzzs a little, the plot always woke me up. The tension between Cale and Grayson is palpable, thick, and unwanted. The descriptions of emotions and the frustration, the sadness, and anger Gray feels on seeing her heartbreaker chase after her own sister is well-designed and avidly described. Good going on that.

Then to the grammar. The author's tenses, dialogue spacing and situating, use of quotes and italics, contextual terminology are more-or-less correct, she lacks pathetically on the punctuation department.

The verbal pause we make after sounds like "Oh," "Ah," or something similar is just non-existent. Same with the addressal, the comma before addressing somene by name or by designated nickname is always missing. A lot of statements are run-ons, lacking adjectives, and connectors. Other sentences are just too long, without much-needed pauses and plauses...

For grammarians, this will be a big bother, it becomes a strain on the eyes and the mental voice that reads to us making for the overall tone to be monotonous, mechanical drone.

That aside, I can make one say, it is a read for when you have free time. Not too interesting, not overtly boring either.

Please note :

Don't take my words in wrong way. I just want to help you. You asked for level-2 where I can't say anything just to make you feel better. I have to be honest so that you can get a idea about your writing and where it stands.

#peace

By : OmniTriquetra