User : asphyxiaxx

Story Name:- Monotone

■ Title:- Monotone describes a fantasy tale of fighting against the advancement of technology in a world where robots dominate and rule in the year 2096. It gives an interesting struggle of human beings for freedom. The twists and turns are exceptional and the book is overall well written. I recommend the book for those who are fantasy and action freaks. It will surely win their hearts. In that point of view, the title suits the story. The story explains very craftily the disadvantages of depending too much on modern technologies. It really shudders us when we think of the consequences.

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​ Cover:- The cover is good and suits the story setting. I especially like the grayish concept in the cover.

■ Summary:- You actually have given striking excerpts from the book, which is nice. But I would suggest you to reduce the length. You can give the overall summary and let a cliffhanger on so that a reader hits the 'read' button.The excerpts are really long and boring to read.

■ Story:- You have good potential. Your vocabulary is exceptionally well. But you must know how to stitch the beautiful words together so that they can form a better chapter. The main points you need to concentrate on are:

●Length- The length of the chapters are okay. But you must work on the paragraph lengths. Short and related paragraphs are easier to read than long and boring ones. Also, reduce the use of repetitive words like "slaves, servants.." used in a place.​

●Grammar- At many places, there are confusing sentences and it seemed like everything is jabbed in a single line. Try to recognize which one is important and which one is not. Some examples:

▶ Confusing Sentence: " If we were so riveted in the spectrum of nature, why did we stand, petrified, as we became corrupted by idle technology, stupefied by glowing screens, stolen from life as we know it from enemies right under our noses?"

The above sentence couldn't convey any meaning to me, especially the last few lines (...as we know it...noses?)

▶Probable wrong meaning: "...leaves and vegetation floating dejectedly to the ground..." How can leaves and vegetation float?

▶ I think that should be without in the line "Because we tried to strive with the new abundance of technology..."

I am not mentioning the other such grammatical ​errors​. But do find an editor and edit the book thoroughly.

Monotonous writing style- Is there any trick behind using monotonous writing style in Monotone? I think the writing can be a bit pleasant to read. I am not going in depth for you have applied for the review level type one. But I think inserting paragraph ​spaces​ at proper places will make the story more enjoyable.

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Plot:- The plot isn't very unique, but it has its own USP in the execution. You are exceptionally well in vocabulary and abstract writing. The words are beautiful and aristocratic. The main character and the other characters had good level of development. I really like the change of the MC from her change of name to her constant strive of being strong throughout. The battle of humans against the robotic dominance is well portrayed. Though I could not read the whole book, overall it has a good potential and if some points are strengthen​e​d, it will do good. Well, I did have some clashes with some of your thoughts in the prologue, but I am not mentioning them in this review as that may become a bit harsh. You can always PM me to know more. The writing was descriptive and the emotions were fairly well written.

■ Characterization:- The MC's character was amazingly well developed. I wish you could a bit in depth about the others. Well, her plights while she was ​with​ her parents were shown nicely. The way you have brought out the slavery of mankind in the hand of robots is commendable. The initial scenes when she finds even eating rats is actually good, made me shiver. The attributes like these were ​executed​
aptly and well.

■Rating:- 7/10. Work out on the editing, and some in depth points and you will reach heights. You can PM me if you want to know more​ or, if you have any issues regarding the reviews.​

Good Luck! ☺

By : PoisonBish