UserName: chelsy_lea

Title: His Girl

The title is just fine. Though not exactly grabs my attention, it’s just okay.

Cover: Except the huge white annoying space, I like the cover. Though it doesn’t have that teen fiction feeling in it. It has a sort of gloomy feeling because it’s a black and white cover. Still, I'm okay with it.

Summary: The summary only tells me of a damsel in distress and her knight in the shining armor. The summary seems quite different from what you’ve shown in the book. Here, you say no one cares for her or notices her. In the book, however, you show that she’s loved by many people, noticed by many too. Even the teacher in her school loves her. So, I guess you need to change some info in the blurb. It’s quite contradictory.

Story: Honestly, the book is a cliche. Though that magic of cliches only compelled me to read all the thirteen chapters. It is grammatically quite sound, except for a few punctuation and the tense switches. In chapter 12, you said three hours after six, and the time is still eight o’clock!

I felt Victoria quite unreal. She is shown totally vulnerable and prone to being bullied and attacked, initially. On the same day only, she emerges as quite bossy and hard. Also, how can she behave so naively with the guy that hurt her so much? After all, she is not that naive either. I guess a few changes in her personality is needed. On the other hand, Jacob and the supporting characters are quite well, as of now.

It is good that you have kept some mysteries in Jacob. Well, there are too many names for a single character. It gets pretty mixed up. Anyway, Jackson is an equally intriguing character. But I think the high cliche quotient of the book is what has kept it from getting good votes. Otherwise, your writing style, the dialogues, the settings-- everything is satisfactory. Just add in a bit of more description. Only eye and hair color do not describe a person. Show and let the readers picturise the scenes and the characters.

Rating: 6/10.

While the book has good potential, it is vigor, plot twists, and a few changes in the plotline is what the book needs.

I’m sorry I've been quite hard, but I felt you needed it reading the book. See, it’s not that bad as I did read all the 13 chapters, right?

By - HerSpectre