Author: TanayaRanade

Title: I Remember

Cover: Your cover is kind of plain and confusing since your story is about Dahlia coping with Andrew. I like your font and how your title blends well with the background, but like I said, it could be better.
6/10

Summary:
There are no major mistakes in your summary which is really good. I suggest you find a synonym for “perfect” since you repeat it three times. You should also add an adjective between “this” and “past” to bring a little more suspense to your story.
7/10

Story:
-       You talk about high school but she’s graduating from college.
-       I suggest you remove “super” from “super best friend” – it’s really cringy like if you wrote “BFF”.
-       Your spacing between paragraph is way too big; it sort of looks like a poem format, or a change in scenes.
-       You switch from present to past too often.
-       I’m confused; it’s graduation day but also her first day at work ??? – I suggest you revise your story and get your times straight.
-       End of chapter one, you say “I thought I would never see again. Him.” – you should replace “him” with his actual name.

-       Separate your dialogue!! – when someone’s talking, give them a new paragraph to not confused your readers.
-       You should mention what Andrew did earlier.
-       At the end of a dialogue sentence, you should end it with a comma, unless the action that follows is not “said” or another synonym (ex: yelled, shouted, whispered, etc…)

-       I really like how you end most of your chapters with a cliffhanger.

-       Your plot is very nice and original.

Good job!! Your story is intriguing and unique. Keep writing and eventually you’ll become perfect.
7/10

Overall: 7/10

By - kahleereynolds