Author: donthatelife

Title: Little Miss Dumbledore 

Eh... I can't say I like it or hate it. I just feel Meh about it.

Cover: I don't like it. Not just the grainy black and white photo of a girl I'm going to assume is Alice Dumbledore, but the text, the color and the font. It so doesn't work for Harry POTTER fanfiction. Find a designer for a more attractive cover.

Summary: I guess it does give out the main points of the story, but it's not intriguing or interesting.  I think the content is good in itself, but change the presentation.

Story: well, your grammar is mostly good except for one thing that bugs me. Third person in present tense reads very weird. I kinda found the explanation for that in your second chapter- you initially wrote this in first person.

First person present works well. Third person works much better in past tense. Also, using present, you do a weird past tense when you go into past details.

I like that you sort of keep the tone of that hehe series. Some parts are straight from that he hehe book - the sorting ceremony speech for example. I guess it's okay.

Your style however could use some work. You tell very much instead of showing and you use A LOT of passive voice. Try making the prose more active and it will fit better.

A few notes on the world: In the sorting ceremony, they call them alphabetically, so there's no way Alice would get sorted first. Black would.

I don't think Voldemort would've been in school with Malfoy's grandpa. I'm pretty sure he's between Abraxas and Lucius

There's barely a relationship there between Alice and her father. No thoughts or feelings. 

Good luck with your story.

Overall score: 6/10

By - Wimbug