Author: LemonAcidEmm

Title: Past Vision: Dead or Alive

To me, the title would sound better as Past Visions since I'm understanding there's more than one. Also, that little skull thing... I know Wattpad now encourages people to use emojis in titles, but... eh, not a fan. Otherwise, I like the title.

Cover: your cover is very beautiful. Your cover designer has served you well.

Summary: Eh. I'll say it again. Eh. It's not bad per second,  but it is a bit rambling. And I can already tell you have a serious problem with tenses. And punctuation. Also... the end with the romance makes absolutely no sense.

At this point, I would actually open the book to see how your writing was because your blurb confuses me. I think you also give too much away in it.

Story: I had high hopes because of the cover and the banners. It got me thinking that you really care about this story, which you probably do. But you have some serious writing issues:

- grammar: your tenses are a mess. Not only do you switch from past to present in one chapter, you switch in the same sentence. You also sometimes use prepositions totally wrong. You need to give it a good read through or find an editor. The thing is, you'll manage to fix most of this stuff on your own once you get more writing done and get the hang of it.

-punctuation: it's pretty screwy, too. Watch out for commas and never use .. instead of ...

- style: you tell so much instead of showing. I mean you freaking tell dialogue and that's a huge no no. Dialogue is what actually helps you show! You have a paragraph of nice description but then it's just back to the drawing board of telling. Also, don't get pedantic and explain text book stuff because it's very obvious 

- pacing: way too fast and way too confusing. She's at the crime scene, then she has a vision in the car and bam, aliens. The hint in the first chapter was good, but then you go on and spill it out like we were supposed to already know that stuff with no back story. Um, what?

- characters: you have no characters except your MC. The rest are just names that do stuff. No traits whatsoever come across

Overall: I think you have potential, but your story needs a lot of work. Practice makes perfect so keep writing.

Score:4/10

By - Wimbug