Title: His Scarred Beauty

Author - Purple_Writer_

The title of your story went quite well with the story being with her condition and the state of her face and so I did not see any problem there. There could be a debate that the title is very common with the whole "His _ girl/Her _ boy" but hey the fact of the matte is I thought it was simple and to the point but also keeps a reader guessing as to why exactly the girl is scarred and what is it exactly that happened to her. I am also really glad that you did not call the book "His Hoodie girl" because you would have had a reason as well, and lord knows how much this title is used.

Cover: The cover of the story was very simple and did not have a lot going on which I found great cause sometimes too much can be harmful. Although the cover was pretty I kind of felt like it did not have so much correlation with the book I mean she hardly went to cliffs and if my memory serves me right she didn't have a dog, and although this may be me just nitpicking things I just thought I'd point that out (unless of course I missed something) but other than that small thing I really quiet liked your cover it's very eye catching indeed.

Blurb: Not going to lie this was what really got me excited for the book, it was really well done and did a lot to catch the interest of a reader. The part that really got me was the notes I wanted to know more about them and why exactly they were being sent to her, the PLL vibes that came off from that just had me imagining all kinds of scenarios, and even if I was way off that’s still a good sign because you managed to get a person to press that read button.

Story:

Okay first off before I continue I should let you know that this is going to be quite a long review, cause unlike other books I have reviewed here I actually finished the entire book so I’m going to comment on all the things I came about in the entirety of the book.

Your prologue was something that I enjoyed very much, I mean I know most people say that dream sequences are not a nice way to start a story and all cliché and stuff but like there is never a way a person can avoid clichés so for me it was nice. It served the job of a prologue very well for it gave me a little insight on your main character and at the same left me with a lot of questions that I needed answers too, my favorite line was the one of the smoke mocking her, I thought it to be very poetic.

Now the main story is where it started getting a little wonky for me, and it has nothing to do with the book having clichés cause as I said before that is unavoidable, it was more of I felt like there were some kind of holes in your story and so to better explain them I’ll elaborate on some of them through the main characters.

Starting off with Brendan honestly, he was the typical wattpad high school lead like seriously up to him going to juvie and coming back with a motorcycle even though he rarely used it still that has been done too many times that I don’t even cliché is the right word for it (yeah, I know what a totally hypocritical thing for me to say). I mean I get it he did something wrong and went to juvie but like what about juvie attracts him to buy a motorcycle, do they like have a fan club of motorcycle enthusiasts in there or something or is it like a rite of passage from leaving juvie, honestly this is just a question I ask myself whenever I see this, and it wasn’t just stemmed from Brandon XD.  But apart from all that Brandon was quite a likable character, I loved the fact that he was so caring towards Valentina and was not the typical I hate you at first and bully you a bit kind of character (no lie those kind make me cringe like hell), my fav thing about him was that he was dyslexic cause that made him relatable of sorts though one thing I did not like about that factor was the line:

“The bad boy can’t read.”

Now I’m not sure that’s what he said exactly but it was something around those lines, and honestly that didn’t sound like something realistically speaking someone would say especially since he was not a huge fan of the reputation that he had.

Talking about Valentine if I’m to be honest when I read the blurb I was given a lot of hope about her you know because of the stuff that she was going through, her being an amputee and all was something I had never seen before, and I was very intrigued to see how you would tackle that. If I am to be honest I was a little disappointed at how you tackled her character, I mean you focused more on her not being that popular in high school and her bullying rather than the fact that she was an amputee. If she hadn’t gone off on her friend that day while she was painting that she didn’t have a right hand I would have completely forgotten that she was (I have a bad memory and honestly I was really starting to), I mean losing one arm would be quite a difficult thing to leave with and I believe if you would a little bit more emphasis on that it would really help in making her more of a fleshed out character. But also I found it odd that people were not aware of the fact that she didn’t have one hand (I took that from the fact Brendan was quite shocked when he first found out), I mean doesn’t that like easily show when you were an outfit (like say her hoodies) as in the cloth just stays there limply unless of course I missed something about this (that tends to happen a lot) this is something I’d suggest looking into.

But apart from that there is one thing about how you showcased Valentine that I really liked, the fact that she had that voluntary mutism was very realistic for if I went through what she went through I would be even less sociable than she was. So, in handling her emotional problems I think you did a good job at bringing that aspect of her to life.

Now on the secondary characters is where things really started getting interesting most especially for the ones that were brought back from the dead. The problem I had with these wasn’t that three characters ended up not being dead at all but more on how you handled it, there were some problems that made it easier for me as a reviewer to nitpick at the story. I didn’t have a big problem with Valentine’s relative coming back because the country she came from was taken over by war and stuff, and therefore I can understand the fact that they were unable to get in touch with her for so long but I would have really liked if we had gotten a chance to hear the full story of how they survived the accident and also how Illiana and Blake came to know that they were still alive and hence went looking for them, cause their reunion took quite a while.

Bree for me was the one that really left me in awe I mean the girl was proclaimed dead by cops and all and seeing that she’s alive that means the cops didn’t find a body and hence that leaves me as a reader with a lot of questions on her so-called death. These secondary characters might not seem as relevant as to dive in fully into their story, but they do impact the main characters a lot, so I’d suggest adding more information on what exactly happened to them so as to cover all the basis and also take your time with them as you would the main characters.

Now plot aside technically speaking there were also a few things that would really benefit with a little tweaking, for instance you had a problem with your tenses where you changed them from time to time. The tense that I believe is the one you commonly use is present tense so what I’d suggest that when editing you edit out the words that do not conform to the tense of your choice for the exchanging might have led to confusing your readers, and that’s never a good thing. There were also some few things that I picked up on while reading the beginning chapter that I pointed out, unfortunately I was offline while reading the rest of the book, so I couldn’t point any that I found there but then of course they were all nothing a quick edit can’t fix.

Well apart from that I really don’t have much more to add, I hope all that I pointed out would end up being helpful to you for you have a really good book here wish has a lot of potential (I mean I didn’t read the whole book just because) all you need is a little tweaking here and there and it’d be even better. So, with that I wish you all the best with this book and your future projects as well.

By - Epicadrenaline

Thank you!