lawmage uniya: *gets knocked out by judge lochness monster*

syle: i sleep

ein: *gets bullied*

syle: rEAL SHIT?

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ein, hiding behind syle:

syle: EXCUSE ME, he asked for no pickles

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alyssa: im sad

syle: lol ok

jin: hey wanna go train-

syle: no thanks

lunelle: so i-

syle: skip

syle: *sees ein*

syle: oh...helo

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ein: where are you going

syle: to get arashiya flowers or murder sylvia, i'll decide on the way there

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ein: syle, you know every problem cant be solved with a sword

syle: i know, thats why i carry two swords

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syle: you love me, right ein?

ein: normally i'd say yes without hesitation, but i feel like this is going somewhere and i dont like it

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syle: ok, truth or dare?

ein: ok, how many hours have you slept this week?

syle:

syle: ...dare

ein: go to bed

syle: i dont like this game

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syle: you kill people for money!?

headmaster ozbron: i can explain

syle: and here i was doing it for free like a chump!

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syle: someone will die

ein: of fun!!!

----------------

ein: syle...

syle: oh no, 'syle' in b-flat

syle: youre disappointed

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syle: magister millenia, give me patience

ein: dont you mean 'give me strength'?

syle: if i asked for strength this entire school would be fucking dead

----------------

syle: i prevented a murder today

lawmage zelka: and how did you do that?

syle: self-control

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syle but Gay™️: So, are we flirting right now?

sylvia: I AM LITERALLY KILLING YOU

syle but Gay™️: that doesnt answer my question

----------------

ein: remember when you didn't solve all your problems with attempted murder?

syle: stop romanticising the past

----------------

syle: whats up guys, im back

the entirety of lawmage academy: what the-you cant be here! youre dead!! we literally saw u die

syle: death is a social construct

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*ein and syle skipping stones at a lake*

ein: its such a beautiful evening!!!

syle, whispering: take that u fucking lake

----------------

ein: please...im begging u to see a doctor rn

syle: babe, i love you, is this OUR stab wound? stay out of it

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syle: you're the love of my life and my childhood friend, i would do anything for you

ein: i want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule

syle: Absolutely not.

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ein: name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety, i'll wait

syle: u and me 

ein, tearing up: okay

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ein, holding a bottle: is this whiskey or perfume?

syle: *chugs entire bottle*

syle: its perfume

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ein: is something burning?

syle: only my love for you

ein: syle the toaster is on fire

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Syle: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Lunelle: >:O language

Ponelius: Yeah watch your fucking language

Alyssa: OKAY WHO TAUGHT PONELIUS THE FUCK WORD?

Ein: 'The fuck word'.

Vendrik: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Syle: Oh my god they censored it

Jin: Say fuck, Vendrik.

Alyssa: Do it, Vendrik. Say fuck.