It's officially been a week since I failed for the third time , I let my parents and my pack down. Though mom tries to cover it up I know Dad and alpha Ronan are mad, disappointed. They've been avoiding me, and I inturn have been avoiding them. Tasks that they would have usually been given to me like patrolling or training the young pups, they give Jenna instead.

Guess they'd finally realized how incompetent I was .
Meanwhile She had proved her self over and over again.
Now she was getting what she wanted, whenever I felt like fighting , I would remember how she and her team took me out.
I bet they laugh about how I couldn't fight back, how I couldn't run faster, then Jenna's words come back to me, she was right. How could I lead a pack of wolves if I couldn't even fight, speed wasn't always the defining factor in a fight , neither was strength. I knew that much but I wasn't proficient at any of them.

A knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts, " Taylor? I'm coming in"
It was Dad . He came in and let the door shut behind him.

He took me in, my curled position on my bed, I hadn't brushed my hair this morning, but I had showered and brushed my teeth. I looked marginally presentable. I felt his eyes studying every inch of me, my father was famous for that penetrating gaze of his, you couldn't hide a thing from him. The infamous beta Trevor of The Heaven's gauntlet pack, My father.
I felt like curling into a ball and disappearing. This was the first time I'd seen him, since I went for the trials a month ago.

While he studied me, I studied him, he hadn't shaved for awhile, he looked slightly tired, but not by much. He was probably stressing over what to do with me. He was in quite a dilemma, we both knew what me failing again meant. So did the pack, even if no one in the pack had the guts to say it to my face or to his.
I took him in, probably the last time he would look at me without scorn or disappointment.

He looked the same as he did when he wished me luck and goddess's mercies when I set off for the challenge a month ago. Strong, intimidating, unshakable.
I cringed at the silence and awkwardness in the room, it wasn't usually like this with dad. I mean dad wasn't usually so quite. What was I going to do when he made his decision known to me, no doubt cry again. It would hurt that much

I was a daddy's girl, he was the one I hated to disappoint the most.

" Dad I—" he held up a hand to silence me, I turned away in shame. I knew what was coming, I'd been hiding from him for a week.
" Taylor" that's all he said, then there was silence, I couldn't stop myself, I looked up to see his expression. "Dad?" I asked hesitatingly, my eyes widened in surprise, he had his arms out, I didn't even hesitate, I was scared, but I missed him, I loved him. I ran into his arms and held him tightly.
"Dad, I'm sorry, I have no excuse, I'm a disappointment."

Unwillingly tears I didn't know I was holding, poured out of me, I felt like I was proving that I was pathetic. He just kept silent, which meant he was thinking the same.
" I'm sorry dad, I won't be weak anymore. I will... I will"
what was I going to do, I couldn't make promises I hadn't made before.
Couldn't do things any differently

" Taylor. Shhh. Let it out" He said
I looked at him and let it all out, everything I was holding in. He just held me as I cling to him.
" I really am sorry daddy, I don't know how to make it up to you, please don't hate me. I deserve it, but please don't" He pushes me away from him sharply, I knew I had asked for too much.

" Taylor, I would never and could never hate you. I love you" he let out a sigh before sitting us on my bed. I rested my head on his shoulder.
"I really am sorry Dad" I told him again, I cringed at myself I sounded like a broken record.

" Taylor listen to me, I won't mince words with you. I am disappointed, just like I was disappointed when you returned home the second time without completing the challenge" I cringed again.
" But I don't hate you, I could never, I've been avoiding you because I needed to put myself together, also because i was busy. Sweetheart, failing isn't the end of the world, it's what we do afterwards. You're not the only one to fail those trails, other wolves—"

" I'm a failure Dad , I've failed three times, other wolves aren't me, they aren't future betas, they're not your daughter, they're not embarrassments to their packs"

" Taylor!" He'd raised his voice, Dad normally had no need too.
He wasn't the type to yell, he got his point across differently.
" you aren't an embarrassment to me or this pack. You are young and you will learn, just as we all do. Where you will become an embarrassment is if you say and think things like this. No one in our family thinks you're a failure. This is just a rough patch"

I kept silent, there were people who thought of me as failures, even within this family, but he didn't need to know that

" I came to see you sweetheart because I was worried, I know you're having a hard time. But apart from that, I came here to tell you something important" he took a deep breath, I braced myself for the worst.
" Alpha Ronan and I, your mother too have decided that you are going to go through retraining. By that I mean that you'll be taught the basics all over again, absolutely everything. I won't lie, your skill set is noticeably weak, having beta blood can only get you so far. You need to learn to take care of yourself, for this pack and for your little sister. Until then jenna will be handling things."

I was shocked, retrained? That was a very light punishment compared to what I had imagined, I was right about the last part, Jenna would take my place in this pack, dad thought it would be temporary, but I knew she planned on making it permanent. Would dad believe me if I told him about Jenna? He would listen, I was sure, but then what? It was decided that she would replace me until after the next trails. If I could succeed then, I would return to my duties. I had a year till the next one, I would try my hardest.

" Are you alright?" He asked worriedly

I looked at him, really looked at him. He was infamous, intelligent, intimidating. But he was my Dad and I would do anything for him.

" I am, I understand that this is a way for me to win the trust of the pack" I said, and yours too. I think to myself

He cleared his throat, " Exactly, I know your pride might get in the way, you are my daughter after all" he let out a loud laugh before continuing, " But humble yourself, never mind what others say, you know what you're working for." I nodded my head. I didn't have much pride after my poor performances over the years. Not to mention, I know I'm not exactly the most liked around here, maybe once, but now...

He smiled at me, "You'll start next week, for now, get out of this room. You'll soon turn into a bat or a cave man or something, just look at your hair."

His words were so unexpected that I let out a laugh
" Ha! She smiles. But I'm serious, put a brush through that hair of yours, then you rejoin society."
He got up to leave, when he reached the door, he gave me another smile.

"I love you, you'll make a wonderful beta one day, All this will just be a story one day sweetheart, it won't even make you sad anymore one day, just a story, left in the past"

He suddenly got a faraway look in his eyes, and a dark look on his face, Did anything happen? Or was he rethinking everything he'd just did. I mean maybe he or alpha Ronan has realized it was too light of a punishment to be given for past

" Dad, is there anything wrong?" I asked

" Nothing honey, just..."

Here it comes, my real punishment.

" Just reminiscing, just know one thing Taylor, when you're out there, Remember that ruthlessness can sometimes be the only way to survive and if you survive then that's all that matters"

With that he left my room.