I walk back to the cell twenty minutes later. I walk alone,because I told Craig I just needed some time to think. I climb up to my bunk, and I lay here with my hands behind my head, my eyes closed. Why does Evan want me so goddamn much. Why me?! For fucks sake, there are so many other single people in this fucking prison! Why couldn't he have gone for one of those guys?! I sigh, and I let my mind wander. Pretty soon, thoughts of my old life float around in my head. I grin as I think of all the people I've murdered, and I laugh when I see their blood on my hands. I smile. I miss being able to kill people. I did it so often, it felt almost like a part of a daily ritual, to me. I loved it. But now Im in prison, and I can't do that anymore. But there is Craig in here.......So I guess it all evens out. I sigh as I think of Craig. I love him so darn much. He's just so adorable and innocent, to a point. I mean, none of us in here are even close to being innocent. But if anyone was to be innocent, it would be Craig. He just has the biggest heart. I would know. Evan, on the other hand, is a heartless bastard. I mean, I guess I was kind of like that before I met Craig. I frown. I guess, maybe, Special Agent Anderson was right. Am I a monster? I roll onto my side, and face the wall. I grimace when I think of what might happen if I turned into Delirious here. The real Delirious. No one knows about him other than me. Delirious showed up after I first killed someone. It was a small girl and she had screamed as I gutted her. After I had murdered her, I had felt an odd sensation come over me. It was like all the hate in me had been concentrated and was clawing its way out. I had felt it take over, and I truly felt Delirious. I felt the need for bloodlust. And I had blacked out. When I came to, I was lying in a ditch, covered head to toe in blood, and with no memory of what had happened. When I went walking back home, I say on a tv screen in a store window a picture of me. I had killed over thirty people, and I had no conscious memory of ever doing it. So I told myself that day that I would fight Delirious. It would just be a name. And I've kept him at bay. Even though I still kill for fun, it's not mass murder anymore. In thirteen years, I've only flipped once. And I can't flip anytime soon. I don't want to hurt my friends. Because......we'll, friends are something I have never had in my life. Ever. I think of what would happen if I turned in here. I would hurt Tyler, I would hurt Brock, I would hurt Lui. I would hurt Max, Adam, Luke, Ohm, Nogla, Jack, Cody, Dean, Marcel, Anthony, Scotty. I don't care if I hurt Evan. But most of all, I would hurt Craig. I feel hot tears stinging my face, and I start to cry. I turn over and sob into my pillow. I can't live with myself if I hurt Craig. My shoulders shake as I cry, then I hear the door open. "Jon?...." I hear someone say, and I lift my head a little to see Craig standing there. My eyes are red, and he stares at me. I sniff, and put my head back down on my pillow. Craig climbs up and lays next to me. He rubs my back. "Jon......what's wrong?" He asks softly, and I sniff again. "I don't want to hurt you." I say into my pillow, making it muffled. Craig stops rubbing my back. "What?" He asks, and I sigh and turn my head towards him. "I don't want to hurt you." I say, and Craig looks at me with questioning eyes. "Jon, what do you mean?" I lift myself up onto my elbows. "Craig, I never told anyone this before." Craig leans in towards me, and his eyes widen. "Jon, what?"

I tell him everything. All about Delirious, the way I started, and what I've been thinking about for the past hour. He stares at me for a moment, then he sighs, and hugs me closely. "Oh, Jon. Why did you keep this to yourself? It's enough to drive anyone insane!" I look at him. "More than I already am?" I ask, and I smile slightly. He rolls his eyes at me. I frown. "But Craig, what if I really do go Delirious. What would happen? What if I hurt you? What if Anderson is right?" I turn my head away. "What if I really am a monster?" I say quietly, and Craig pulls my head back to him. He looks deep into my eyes. "Jon, you are not a monster. Not even close. You are my Jonathan, and there is nothing that will ever change that. Nothing." He pulls me into a kiss, and I hold him closely. I feel more tears running down my cheeks. "Will you make sure I never turn, Craig?" I ask, and he pulls away from the hug. He nods. "Of course I will, Jon. Of course I will." I smile, and I feel the tears drip down my chin. "Thank you." I say quietly.