This is my first criminal minds fanfic yay!! I am literally so obsessed.

TW: mental health, mentions of past trauma and self harm, ED

You sit on the plane stone faced after an awful case. The Unsub had murdered 5 young women who had been in the same mental hospital for eating disorders. They caught the unsub but what you had to see hit a little too close to home, unbeknownst to the rest of the team.

You had gone through a lot when you were a teenager and even though you were thriving now, those dark thoughts were always in the back of your mind.

You stared at the book in your hands, trying to distract yourself from the thoughts of your past bubbling up to the surface in your mind.

"Hey." You look up and see Spencer. "Can I sit here." He says, pointing to the seat across from you. You nod tersely.

"You've been staring at the same page for 17 minutes and 32 seconds. What's on your mind?" You take a deep breath and sigh.

"I'm usually good about not letting what we see affect me, but... let's just say what we saw hit too close to home." You notice the others turn to face you after that.

"Do... do you want to talk about it?" He says. You sigh and put the book down, looking around at everyone. On one hand you felt the burning desire to pour out your soul. On the other you knew they didn't know too much about your childhood and you didn't want to scare them.

"Um... I don't know. It's a lot." You give a nervous chuckle. Morgan reaches over and squeezes your hand. "You don't have to, but if you want to we will listen. We are here for you."

With that you felt your walls crumbling. Years and years of holding these secrets close to your chest had weighed you down and all you wanted to do was tell them.

"When I was a kid..." you begin, a tear sliding down your cheek. "I was bullied. A lot. I'd go to school and get called all sorts of names, 'fatty, whale, disgusting' and more. Funny thing was I wasn't even all that overweight. But it was enough for them. I'd go home and there would be my mother, telling me how much better I would look if I was skinny, and if I lost a few pounds maybe those kids wouldn't bully me anymore."

You feel more tears sliding down your face. "The beginning of my sophomore year of high school I was 230 lbs. By the end of the summer before my junior year, I weighed 102 lbs. The only reason I got help was because I passed out at school. My mom did nothing but encourage my eating disorder. I was depressed and suicidal over it and she still didn't listen."

You wipe away the tears and finally look up into the sad and shocked faces of your colleagues. "I got better, I got away from that and haven't been that bad since. But when I went back into the belly of the beast as it were... it hit me hard."

You feel someone slide into the seat beside you and you see it's Spencer. He puts his arm around you and holds you for the rest of the flight.

TIME SKIP

After landing you are getting ready to go home when Spencer comes up to you.

"Headed home?" You nod. "Yeah. I need a good nights rest."

He chuckled. "Yeah I know the feeling." You smile softly.

You turn to walk away. "Wait, Y/N..." With a sigh you look back.

"Yes, Spence?"

"You know you're perfect right? I mean, you don't need to change a thing. You're beautiful just the way you are."

You blush and look down at your shoes. "Thanks Spencer. I know that now but... I guess it just took a long time to figure that out."

You look up to see him so close to you that you can feel his breath on your face.

"I think you're beautiful. And smart and funny and talented and... I love you." He said quickly.

You step back in shock. He looks embarrassed and starts walking away.

"Spencer!" You shout. He turns and you run towards him, pulling him in and placing a kiss on his lips.

He pulls away first, cheeks blazing red.

"I... I didn't know if you were gonna feel the same way."

You smile and kiss him again. "I have for a while. I just didn't think that you felt the same way towards me."

He takes your hand and leans in to whisper in your ear.

"Maybe you'll let me take you home and show you how beautiful you really are"

Ooooohhhh fun times. I'm so excited to work on this book pls give me all the requests. Also know that you are all beautiful and perfectly imperfect human beings of great worth! 😘