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'When we feel weak, we drop our heads on the shoulders of others. Don't get mad when someone does that. Be honored. For that person trusted you enough to, even if subtly, ask you for help'
—Lori Goodwin

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He was locked in his room for four days despite the hollers of his parents, and an endless amounts of texts and calls. His stomach always churned instead of feeling hunger; he felt only nauseous for almost 24 hours a day. And whenever he felt better for one second, he'd be overwhelmed with guilt and sadness the next.

Even though days had past, Tadashi Matsumoto could still recall everything from Saturday. The bodyguards, the gunshots, Izumi's deathly still body... A sudden urge to puke overcame the teen at the memory and he hurriedly clasped his hand over his mouth. After a few seconds, he released a shaky breath, glad it was a false alarm. Breathing in, Tadashi pulled himself upright on his bed, bringing his knees to his chest.

If only he were stronger. As soon as he saw that gun, it should've been clear to him that he needed to think before moving. And yet he moved toward them impulsively. He made them shoot Izumi.

And he didn't even try to save her. Him not thinking at the moment wasn't an excuse he was willing to accept.

He was the one who made Izumi die the way she did.

Tadashi held back the urge to cry. He'd never felt so useless in his life. He'd assumed that everything was going all right, that everything was fine for the moment... but that was anything but the case.

If only he told everyone about the excessive amount of bodyguards he saw outside. There was no way they'd have that many, much less outside just watching the mansion. If only he were smarter...

If only, if only, if only...

But it was already too late.

The sound of Tadashi's cell phone going off resounded within the room and despite not wanting to answer it, Tadashi found himself picking it up. Ryuu's name flashed on the screen and it was enough to make him crack a smile.

The roles were reversed. Back when Ryuu was in denial to Saya, he locked himself up like this too. It made Tadashi wonder if Ryuu also felt the same way he had back then.

Contrition drowned Tadashi as he buried his face into his knees. There's no way he would've said the things he did if he knew Ryuu was suffering like this. He was so ignorant...

So useless...

Upon tossing his phone, it bounced off of his bed and to the ground. Tadashi felt a twang of panic, but shook it aside. Though, the knock to the ground had somehow managed to turn on his phone and Siri, which thereby played a newly obtained voicemail.

"Hey, Tadashi. It's Ryuu..." Ryuu's shaky tone sounded through the receiver. He proceeded to laugh weakly. "Um...the roles really have swapped, huh? I was a mess then, too, but..."

He paused for another stiff laugh before quieting completely. His tone changed over the phone with his next few words.

"Look, Tadashi. It wasn't your fault. Nobody could've stopped it, okay? I'm sorry we ditched you back there to fend for yourself. If you're going to blame anyone, blame us.
It was everyone's fault as much as it was yours."

Ryuu's words were bland to Tadashi. So cliché, so expected.

But Ryuu wasn't there. He didn't know how useless Tadashi was when she was struggling. When Izumi was suffering...

Why did he have to go and move? Why didn't they shoot him instead of her?

Tadashi clenched his teeth, blocking out Ryuu's words completely. He didn't want to listen to them. It was his fault.

A deafening beep filled the air, signaling the end of the voicemail, and Tadashi sighed with relief. But deciding to ruin his one second wave of peace, another voicemail emerged.

"Great, I have to turn it off," Tadashi grumbled, grabbing his sheets to pull himself out from under the covers.

"Matsumoto."

The voice froze Tadashi on the spot. His heart stopped beating entirely, eyes as wide as saucers.

"It's Ayame," continued her voice.

Tadashi was rooted to the spot. It was odd. He hadn't wanted anything to do with Ryuu's voicemail. He hadn't.

So, then, why did he find himself wanting to hear hers?

After distributing a hesitant exhale within the voicemail, Ayame's next words came on strong. "I'm not going to say that it is or is not your fault. After hearing about Shinzo, it's obvious you're blaming yourself. Your reaction told us all that. What happened to her... was unfortunate, and horrible. I always knew the Kitoshi's were ranked so highly in the city, but not to the point of this. It goes to show that my awareness and knowledge to the world around me is narrow and small.

"But, I didn't call you to tell you that," she said, stopping herself from continuing with the ramble. She paused for a second. "I didn't think you'd let this knock you down. Regardless of whose fault it was, I took you to be a person that never gave up no matter what. Who never hid just because something out of their reach happened. The Tadashi Matsumoto I know isn't frail like that."

His heart stopped.

"Matsumoto, the world is full of unexpected and unfair things. Many say that I'm heartless with the little emotion I show to this case, and I have no right to say what I'm about to, but what happened was inevitable. Regardless of whoever was there, stopping Shinzo's death was impossible," she stated, her voice stressed for emphasis. "'I noticed large amounts of bodyguards right outside the mansion. But because I believed nothing of it, and I was the last one with her—the only one that could protect her—I wasn't able to do anything. I killed her...' If I'm correct, that's what you're thinking, correct?"

Tadashi's jaw collapsed. How did...

A light chuckle escaped Ayame's lips. "And right now you're in awe to how I was able to conclude with that, aren't you? Although it's just a hunch that I'm saying this with." With a halt, Ayame puffed. "Matsumoto, if that is what you are thinking, it was all our faults too. Each of us noticed the bodyguards as well. Not only you did. It's not only your fault. Your worries, your concerns, your trust; they all belong with your friends. Burdening one's worries on their shoulders alone leads to their own destruction. That's why you rely on your friends for help."

Ayame's words struck the teen in a way he never thought would've. She always did leave him speechless.

"Standing up. Getting something done. Never giving up. That's a very unique and impossible way of doing things, but it's how I accomplish everything. And this case will be no different. I will put a stop to this tragedy, with or without your cooperation. You could stay where you are if you want, I'm not forcing you to get over it so soon and come back to help. But if... if you really want to make a difference—to stop this occurrence, to make it up to your guilt, to move forward—come assist us. They, along with myself, need you to put a stop to this case. That's why I'm asking you to not give up."

☻ ☺ ☻

Tuesday afternoon, the clubroom was empty and silent. At the large table in the center of the room sat Ayame, Ryuu, Akira, and Yasuo. With four members within a once fourteen people environment, the sensation of loneliness was an obvious emotion.

"It really is empty," Ryuu spoke up, biting down on his lip at how much his voice echoed within the room.

"Yeah," Akira agreed, trying to withhold a somewhat cheerful disposition. "It's hard to believe there used to be so many of us."

She lowered her eyelids, feeling a strong sense of nostalgia.

"We would argue, and make fun of one another... Now that I think about it, we never really got along in general." Akira's laugh got muffled and she felt on the verge of tears. Her heart felt all broken and heavy as well. She had cried nonstop the past several days, which explained her red and puffy eyes, but she really didn't want to cry anymore.

Though, she couldn't help herself. Looking back only made it worse.

"...I miss them," she snuffled out.

"Stop being such a crybaby," Yasuo shot, sparing Akira a pointed glance. He shut his eyes, balling his fists. "We... All of us... We all miss them, okay?"

Another silence loomed over the four gathered. Ayame spared each sullen teen a glance, inexpressive as always. She never understood it. She always watched it happen, but it never clicked as to why it would.

Why did these things always make them react like this?

She slightly envied them a little.

The door to the CRF clubroom opened, startling those gathered. It surprised them greatly when their gazes fell upon the person responsible. His violet eyes briefly scanned the members gathered, all stoic and expressionless.

Ayame narrowed her eyes into a pointed look. "Oh, what an honour. What brings the Student Council President here to the CRF?"

Kazuma Kurosaki's attention flitted onto Ayame and lingered on her for a while before he turned away. He studied the room for a second longer until focusing on the bunch once more. "Where's Tadashi Matsumoto?"

His question came as a surprise to the white-haired female. Tadashi was involved with the Student Council?

"He's at home," Ryuu answered for the rest of them, knitting his eyebrows together. "Why?"

Kazuma hesitated. "Was he out sick for the entire week?"

Their glares told the male that he was right, but wasn't at the same time. He knew something had happened to Tadashi. Regardless, Kazuma had a slight feeling that pestering them for an answer would not end well for him.

"I see. If that's the case, I'll return next week," Kazuma merely said.

He spun around to leave. Right as he was about to step out, Yasuo stopped him.

"Are you working with Tadashi?"

Kazuma stopped in his tracks. He shot a glance in Yasuo's direction.

Ryuu furiously slammed his fists onto the table. "Yasuo, what the hell are you saying? Tadashi isn't—"

"And where's Yamada? I haven't seen him in a few weeks either," Yasuo cut Ryuu off, still directing his glare to Kazuma.

The three were silent, surprised at his words themselves. The other club members; Atsushi. What had they been doing lately?

They disregarded them as they were all so absorbed with what was happening around them. They barely even registered the amount of members they still hadn't accounted for.

"If it's Atsushi, he's at home." Kazuma answered almost instantly. "He has a ninety percent average in all his subjects so he's using every chance he can get to study."

"Why does he need to study more? He already gets the third highest rank in the school on every exam," Akira questioned.

"Although nineties aren't bad to you all, to be in the Student Council you need to have a ninety-four average or more," Kazuma stated bluntly. "If it stays like that by his next report card, he's out of the SC."

Before Akira could speak up once more, Ayame took the opportunity. "This academy is prestigious, Minamoto. The Student Council and prefects of the school need to have a higher rank than the students. And those focused enough to work for that rank despite how tough it may be, you have no right to slander all their efforts."

Akira flinched in response.

Ayame looked in Kazuma's direction. "But enough about Yamada. I believe you still never answered Ishikawa's earlier question." Her cold and calculating eyes narrowed into slits. "What kind of relationship do you have with Matsumoto?"

"You people in the CRF always ask the most blunt questions. You never give up when you have your eyes set on something, do you?" Kazuma muttered under his breath, facing them all again. He exhaled a breath before raising his head to the side in almost a condescending manner. "If I told you I may know who planned all the crimes of your fellow clubmates and who the mastermind is, would you believe me?"

A hyperventilated gasp left Akira's mouth, while the other three's mouths fell.

Ryuu shot up from his seat like a rocket. "You know about—"

Kazuma's mouth upturned in amusement. "I know a lot more than you think."