Gus is not okay.

Over the coming days I notice him going down hard into a binge. I've never seen him this bad before. I've seen him high, sure, but not this spun. Not like Adam. Not 'til now.

"Hey Gus, how you doin'?" I ask a couple days after West and I almost hooked up.

Gus's head spins around so fast it's like that kid from the Exorcist. His pupils are huge, like an owl's. He has been smoking literally nonstop all day, and it's almost five o'clock. Seeing someone like that, I mean that cranked, makes you believe in the devil, makes you believe that he wants this; he wants Gus's soul like he wanted Adam's, and he's going to get it.

"Ember!" Gus says happily. "Did you know I went to Heaven today? I saw Adam. I want pizza. God is like a giant butterfly. Did you notice the snow is making noise? Like, fuzz, fuzz, fuzz. No, shut up! I don't want to go ice skating! I want chocolate! Did you see my elf? He sings Jingle Bells! I named him DJ Elf Smash."

Gus starts laughing hysterically. I just stand there, stunned. Not one single thought makes any sense or belongs with the others. He's just talking, spewing words like a blender with the top off.

"Gus, how much have you smoked?" I ask with concern.

Gus's huge owl eyes look through me, like I'm invisible.

His response: "There's fire in my ear and it's saying I'm the One."

Jesse, who just walked in, raises an eyebrow. God I wish Hex would come back. I'm cracking under the weight of my grief for Adam, forbidden love for West, fear of Jesse, worry about Gus and confusion about all of it! I need someone else who's sane and capable to take over for me or I'll break into a million pieces!

"Your ear is not on fire," Jesse says, shaking a small bindle of dope over a blackened spoon.

"Jesse, he is out of his mind! What do we do?" I ask frantically.

Gus starts singing Joy to the World at the top of his lungs.

"How the fuck should I know what to do? I don't touch that crazy shit he's on," Jesse says.

"We can't lose Gus too," I say, my voice cracking. "We lost Adam just like this! It started like this! Then it was paranoia! After that he was violent! Then he fucking died! He DIED! His heart fucking exploded!"

Jesse pauses for a moment before going back to preparing his fix. For a second, he gives me what I've been desperate for: his full attention.

"Ember, I hate it too. I'm worried too. But what do you want me to do? What, exactly? Tell me, and I'll do it," he says softly, looking me right in the eye.

I don't know. God I don't know! Just make all this STOP!

I want to scream but I know it won't help. Gus is still on the edge. He hasn't started being paranoid or violent yet. I can still stop this insanity before it's too late and there's another body in the leaves.

I don't answer Jesse. Instead I run to Gus's room. The glass pipe is there on top of his sleeping bag next to his stuffed dog and sketchbook. I don't even have to look for it. I grab it and stuff it in my pocket. It's still hot, warming my thigh through the thin fabric of my jeans.

I glance down at the open sketchbook and see about a thousand portraits of Adam. I pick it up for a closer look. The next four pages are dedicated to Adam. Over and over and over, Gus has drawn him with characteristically creepy precision. I pause at one, the death scene, Adam's body in the leaves surrounded by garbage. I'm shaking uncontrollably.

"Hey!"

I drop the sketchbook and whirl around. It's Gus. He doesn't look angry, just curious.

"Hi," I say brightly, trying to act nonchalant.

"You wanna come hear the snow? Dead people are talkin' under the snow. I was a fish once. The pearls turned into eyes. A star's gonna fall and crash on this house. That's what they said. I'm the Chosen One to save us. I'll die but you'll live. They chose me. Come see the dead people. Did you know angels don't really got wings? The wings are leaves. I don't wanna go to that white cage. It hurts. My mind hurts!"

"Oh Gus," I say, and I throw my arms around him. He's burning up, and tears are streaming down my cheeks.

"Don't worry, Ember, I won't let Him get you. Don't cry. He just wants me. Not you. That's why I'm goin' under the snow. Bye."

Before I can think he's jumped out of my arms and fled out of the house. I try to run after him.

"GUS!" I scream, but my voice dissolves in the winter wind.

I trudge back to the house, sobbing with despair. Jesse has nodded out while sitting on our sleeping bag, and his upper body slumps unnaturally over his crossed legs, like a tree weighed down by ice. I check to make sure he's breathing, and when I'm satisfied I push him over so he's lying down. No point in trying to wake him. No one can help me.

I'm so desperate I consider going to West's place for help, but just then I hear footsteps and run back to the front of the house, hoping to see Gus.  

Even better: it's Hex.

My relief almost knocks me over as we embrace each other, her big stomach making it so my arms only go around part way.

"Hex! You're alive!" I cry.

She pulls back and wipes the tears off my cheeks with her thumbs. "Just needed a few days by myself to deal with things. You okay? Is it Jesse again?"

I shake my head and explain about Gus. Hex doesn't even pause.

"Get your coat. We'll find him!" she says.

Relieved, I throw my coat on and follow her outside into the twilight. Gus didn't make it far. We find him hiding inside an empty dumpster behind the pizza place up the block.

"Shh!" he says, popping his head up and putting his finger to his lips.

"What the fuck are you doing, Gus? Get out and come here," Hex orders, unfazed.

I watch in amazement as Gus dutifully climbs out of the dumpster and makes his way over to us.

"He's around here," Hex says. "You have to come home. He won't find you there."

Gus looks doubtful. I have no idea what the hell Hex is talking about.

"But this elf keeps singin' REALLY LOUD and won't leave me alone!" Gus cries.

"But He can't hear anything inside the house. You'll be safe there."

She reaches her hand out, and Gus takes it hesitantly. Whatever Hex is talking about, it works. Gus follows us home, occasionally kicking and cussing and throwing rocks at some hallucination behind him.

Once we get him back into his room, Hex shuts the splintery door and slides down it to sit in front so Gus can't escape again. I do the same.

"Why did he listen to you?" I ask after we catch our breath.

Hex chuckles and shakes her head. "Meth trips make no sense, but Gus's always have a common theme: a bad guy he calls 'Him.' Adam and I always threatened to call Him or get Him when Gus was on the verge of hurting himself or losing it, and it helped us get the upper hand, got him to listen to us."

"It made no sense to me," I say.

Gus's fingers slide under the door between us, and I jump, letting out a little squeak as Hex laughs at my reaction. The fingers feel all around like a cat's paw. From inside, I hear Gus whimpering.

"Guys... let me out!" he says quietly. "The walls are melting! It's gettin' REALLY hot! And there's eyes lookin' at me!"

"Gus, no," Hex says firmly.

Things go quiet for awhile. Then there's a loud BANG on the door, so heavy we feel the wood hit our backs.

"LET ME OUT!" Gus screams, jiggling the doorknob. "LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!"

I glance at Hex fearfully, but she doesn't even look surprised.

"Not safe," Hex says calmly.

"LIAR!"

Gus screams in frustration and kicks the door again. The impact pushes Hex and me an inch or two forward, but we quickly get back in place to hold the door closed. Gus is so small it should be pretty easy to keep the door shut as he slams his whole body against it, but the meth makes him stronger than usual and it's a tiring fight.

A few minutes later something warm and wet seeps into the back of my jeans.

"What the h-" I look down and see some kind of liquid running under the door.

"GUS! GODDAMMIT! STOP PEEING!" Hex shouts, hitting the door hard with her fist.

"LET ME OUT! THEY'RE WATCHIN' ME! THEY'RE COMIN' OUTTA THE WALLS!" Gus screams.

Great. Here comes the paranoia.

"I'm going to tell Him you pissed on us!" Hex says.

"NO NO NO! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

"THEN ACT RIGHT! YOU'RE NOT THREE!"

There's silence from behind the door now. My eyes are wide looking at Hex, but she remains steadfast. Nothing gets to her. Not one thing. I wish I was even a fraction of how strong she is.

She leaves me holding the door and comes back with an old t-shirt to clean up the piss. Things are quiet again for awhile. Then there's a soft tap tap tap behind my head.

"Em-ber!" Gus sings my name.

I look at Hex, and she shakes her head.

"Hey, hey, Ember! Guess what I have!" Gus sings.

Hex and I watch a cloud of white, toxic smoke creep out from underneath the door. My hand goes to my pocket. The pipe is gone. How did he get it back? I didn't even notice.

"Shit," Hex says under her breath.

"What do we do?" I ask.

After a few seconds of thinking, she shrugs and says, "Let him have it. Nothing else we can do. We can't take it from him now without him going psycho!"

"True."

Nothing much happens over the next couple of hours. Gus just talks nonsense and puts his fingers under the door again.

"Ember, get some sleep. I've got him," Hex says after things have been quiet for awhile.

I'm exhausted and emotionally drained, and I take her up on the offer immediately. I can't think or feel anymore. The last thing I do is check Jesse again to make sure he's still breathing, like I do every night when he's out like this. Once I'm convinced that everyone is accounted for, alive, and safe, a tsunami of sleepiness sweeps over me. As soon as my head hits our thin pillow, I'm out.