FANGURLS

As Erin drunkenly kisses Derek, she feels him open his mouth a bit—from surprise more than anything else, she's sure—but she'll take it, if only for one moment. Erin explores for a few seconds, then pulls back, slowly letting her lips get one last touch upon his.

She opens her eyes to see Derek staring at her in shock, anger, horror? Most likely all three, but Erin doesn't plan on sticking around long enough to find out. She drops her drink on the floor and pretty much runs away. She imagines Derek calling her name faintly as she pushes through the crowd—but come on. Like that would happen.

She can already picture it: Derek washing his mouth out with tainted punch, gurgling as fast as he can. He'll probably complain to his friends about how a nerdy underclassmen had the audacity to assault him. There's no doubt about it. Man, she is an idiot! Erin bites down on her bottom lip, ruining the fleeting taste he's left her with.

She blinks back tears by the time she reaches Jessica Lynn. Her best friend is lingering in the same spot Erin left her in. She's possibly as miserable as Erin, judging by her hunched posture. She rushes up to Jessica Lynn and pulls her hand immediately. Jessica Lynn looks up, appalled that Erin is in tears.

"What's going on?"

"Let's go. I'll tell you on the way," Erin says, holding her friend's hand tight enough she can almost hear the bones crushing. Jessica Lynn doesn't mind though. She squeezes back.

"Okay, let me tell Amber we're leaving." She reasons and starts her way through the partygoers.

"You think she'll give a shit? She has Adam." Erin sniffles in sad bitterness. Jessica Lynn observes Erin's distress and finally agrees. They make their way to the front door and are in Jessica Lynn's car within ten seconds. She backs out of the driveway, staying silent while they cruise their way back to her place. Erin coughs, wipes at her wet cheeks, and confesses.

"I kissed Derek Evans," she admits, wrecked.

"Is...isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" Jessica Lynn questions uncertainly.

"What?!"

"You like him, don't you? I thought you did..." Jessica Lynn blunders.

"How did you know that?" Erin's eyes are as big as saucers.

"Because I know you," Jessica Lynn says simply. "It's in the way you talk about him," she explains when Erin stares blankly at her.

"I don't talk about him that much." She shifts around in her seat, disheartened she's been extremely transparent.

"God, if I'm that obvious, he probably knew I liked him before I kissed him. Ugh, I feel sick." Erin groans. Jessica Lynn begins to pull the car over, panicked.

"Like puke in my car sick?" She warns.

"No, no...I'll vomit later. For now, I can't believe I did something so stupid." Erin covers her face with her hands, hiccuping softly. This is the worst night ever.

"Hey, shit happens. Besides, it might not turn out as bad as you imagine. Derek's nice. If nothing else, I don't think he'll hold it against you."

"Did you know he's in love with Amber? Or was, until he saw her with Adam tonight. Not a damn thing is going to happen between us. And I don't want him to not hold it against me. It'll make me feel like a pathetic stray dog. More than I already do that is," Erin says.

"What do you mean more than?"

"I mean more than I already do, because Amber is beautiful, and you're talented, and I'm just me. I've got nothing." She can't believe these words are coming out of her mouth, and she can't stop them. Good Lord, she will never drink again.

"That's not true, Erin." Jessica Lynn glares when Erin sniffs dismissively. "You don't know how important you are. How important you are to me. And it would be incredibly inadequate for me to try and list all the ways you matter. I want to talk about this more...when we can really talk, okay?"

Erin stares out the rolled down window, feeling the wind slowly dry up her tears. Time to change the subject.

"What went down with Sean?"

It's Jessica Lynn's time to get uncomfortable.

"He was talking about hooking up to do a track together. Which somehow transitioned into him talking about hooking up. Period." Her hands tighten on the steering wheel as she remembers Sean's advances. She'd played it off as best she could, saying she wanted to stay friends and work as professionals when the opportunity presented itself.

"Did you bitch slap him?" Erin lightens the dismal mood she's sunken them both into.

"No. Told him we should stay cool and focus on the music," Jessica Lynn explains, her brows creased in reflection. She tugs at her lip ring, the same way she typically does when she feels fucked up in the head.

"I'm scared," she says, causing Erin to fully turn and face her. She's shaken out of her own problems to vouch for Jessica Lynn's instead.

"Why?! He's just some guy. Did you want to go out with him and chickened out?" Jessica Lynn shakes her head and eases up on her miserable car. She's gunning the gas pedal way more than necessary.

"I don't want it to be like this. That seemingly innocent incident is a sign, Erin. The higher powers are trying to tell me something here. Or rather reaffirm what I've been fearing."

"Come on, Jess," Erin urges as her friend halts.

"It's not easy for girls in the music world."

"Yeah, but you're not going to turn into the next half-naked pop star. Your vibe will be a lot different once you get some exposure." Erin interjects without meaning to interrupt. She realizes her mistake and flushes. "Sorry, go ahead."

"It'll be like that for me too. How many girls do you see doing rock music? Girl bands? The few that are around rarely get the credit they deserve. And I bet it's just as hard to try and stay professional. Hanging around guy musicians all the time. They're gonna hit on you. It's a fact. The parties, the come-ons, constantly having to prove you're as talented and have a right to rock." Jessica Lynn indulges in a small chuckle at her bad pun.

"I don't want to sell out."

Erin places her hand on her friend's knee.

"You won't. Anyways, you're a long way off from that. All you've got to do is keep loving what you're doing, keep doing it. The rest will come if you stay strong." Erin's tone is enough to convince Jessica Lynn, for now. Erin gives her knee a final, last tap and sits back in her own seat, watching the town go by.

*** So the girls are crashed after the events of that raging party. Here's to Erin's massive hangover tomorrow morning. How do you think Derek will react to The Kiss? ***

https://youtu.be/KlyXNRrsk4A