"Toby can run on pure adrenaline for a while, and can stay awake for a very long time (his record is four days) but he does crash eventually- and usually in the worst possible scenarios. (Masky once found him by an elementary school- it's a wonder the police didn't find him first)."

"Now what fuckin' idiot thought it would be a good idea to put the light switch 15 fucking feet from the door?" You muttered to yourself, hand against the wall as you navigated the dark hallways. You'd gotten better at finding your way around since the disastrous blackout a few months back, but after tripping over a lone cooler not five minutes earlier, you were hesitant to take chances.

Truth be told, Slender's mansion was fucking terrifying at night. You swore the portraits followed you with their eyes, and the windows were always open, allowing the curtains to rustle in the wind even though you could've sworn you'd shut the shutters earlier that day.

In short, it made you question whether the doritos you were after were actually worth it.

(They were, of course.)

But. All this- all this- to say that when you tripped over something in the hallway, something decidedly human-shaped, nobody could fault you for thinking it was a dead body and reacting accordingly.

"Who am I murdering?" Jeff demanded, stumbling out of his bedroom wearing nothing but a T-shirt and pair of boxers. His eyemask was half-skewed over his eyes, and overall he had a very deranged look about him. "What fuckwit decided to start screaming at four in the fucking morning-" he blinked owlishly at you, then scowled and leveled the pointy end of his knife at your heart. "Consider this a testament to our friendship that I'm considering the benefits of not killing you."

"You're pointing a knife at me."

"Would you rather I be stabbing it at you?" Jeff snapped. "No? Count your fucking blessings, (Y/N)."

Your eye twitched. Truth be told, you were tempted to try and stab him with his own knife, but even half asleep you knew that wasn't a good idea.

"You're lucky it was just me you woke up," Jeff grumbled, flipping his knife around so you weren't in danger of being stabbed with it. "Hoodie's scary when he's sleep-deprived, and Masky's the most unpleasant sonuvabitch I've ever had the misfortune to meet upon being woken up." A pause. "What the hell are you doing up, anyways?"

You huffed, "I tripped."

Jeff strongly seemed to be considering stabbing you again, "Yeah, I'd kind of gathered that, sweetheart," he grumbled. "Why the fuck are you still awake?"

Might as well tell the truth. "YouTube marathon."

"It's four in the morning."

"You say that like it's a valid argument."

Jeff stared at you for a moment before muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'fucking humans.' "What the hell did you trip over, anyways?"

You shivered, "I think someone was murdered earlier."

Jeff blinked at you, then blinked some more. Then he shrugged and said, "Eh."

You flailed wildly. "'Eh?' 'Eh?' Someone was fucking murdered, and you respond eh?"

Jeff shrugged again, "Look, kiddo, if they were murdered, they had it coming. Simple as that."

You stared at him in shock for a count of three seconds before he rolled his eyes and nudged you with the handle of his knife, "I'm kidding. Maybe take a look at what you tripped over before deciding someone got bored and decided to play Knife Monopoly?"

You furrowed your brows. What?

"Toby has the unfortunate habit of falling asleep in.... inopportune places," Jeff said a moment later, after you'd discovered that the 'dead body' you'd tripped over wasn't actually a 'dead body,' but Toby, sound asleep. "It's kind of impressive."

"He's going to get trampled in the morning."

Jeff shrugged, "Maybe then he'll learn his lesson."

You shot a glare at the creepypasta before hefting Toby up into the air, struggling under the proxy's weight. Jeff watched you all the while, one eyebrow raised, "Seriously?"

You increased the power behind your glare, "Yes, seriously," you snarled. "Are you going to stand there and look like an idiot, or are you going to help me?"

Jeff watched you for another moment, then threw his hands in the air and grabbed Toby by his ankles so that he was swinging between the two of you. Kind of like a hammock, if the hammock was muttering about green apples under its breath.

Jeff shot you a sarcastic glare, "Now what, oh genius one?"

You hadn't thought this far ahead- your brainwave kind of stopped after 'get Toby up off the floor so unsuspecting bystanders don't trip over him.' "Uh.... put him back in his room?"

Jeff snorted, "Loving the confidence there, Short Stack. Do you even know where you're going?"

"Uh..." No, you did not. "I'm sure I could figure it out."

Jeff rolled his eyes, "Yeah, sure," he drawled sarcastically, then nodded his back at the way you'd come. "Hang a left; third door on the right." A pause. "This is when you move, (Y/N)."

"Oh, right."

Together, you trekked down the hall. "Does Toby... is this a common occurance?"

Jeff shrugged one shoulder. "It's not uncommon, but he usually doesn't crash in the halls."

You weren't sure whether that was meant to be reassuring or not, and after a moment, decided you were better off not knowing.

"Alright, here we are, just dump him on the floor- he doesn't need a bed, (Y/N), don't look at me like that, he was gonna wind up sleeping on the hardwood anyways-"

"God, you're heartless," you remarked aloud after depositing Toby on his bed. He immediately curled into a small ball, unconsciously shifting closer to the wall. "I pity the day you ever need a kidney transplant."

Jeff shuddered, "Considering EJ's our resident surgeon, (Y/N), I can't say I blame you."

You rolled your eyes, then gently pulled a blanket up over Toby, to Jeff's eternal dismay.

"Quit mother-henning him!" He whinged, then yelped when you stamped none-to-gently on his foot. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

You leveled a glare at him, "I'm not mother-henning him," you snapped. "I'm making sure he doesn't catch a chill."

Jeff snorted, "'Oh, Toby dear, don't forget a sweater, it's a little nippy out,'" he mocked, voice gone into a high falsetto. "'Jeff, you've gone through quite a bit of celery this week, maybe you should dial it back a bit-'"

"I do not sound like that!"

Jeff cackled. "You totally do!" He wheezed. "You're the damn mom friend!"

"I am not the mom friend!"

More laughter. "Who's always telling BEN to invest in a pair of glasses to block out the blue light?"

"He's insufferable when he gets a migraine; you know this!"

"Making sure EJ doesn't miss meals? Come on, (Y/N), face the facts!"

"If Jack misses a meal he'll eat us instead-"

"Guys, could you bicker elsewhere? I'm trying to sleep."

Both you and Jeff froze, then turned to face Toby, who was glaring tiredly at the two of you from the depths of his pillows.

"Seriously, guys, it's like-" he squinted at the alarm clock on his bedside table. "-four in the morning. Go the fuck to sleep."

Jeff stared at him in abject shock for a moment, then his face split into a snarl, "You little-"

"Night, Toby!" You interrupted, tone cheerful as you dragged Jeff out of the room by his collar. "Sleep well!"

Toby didn't respond. You had the feeling he'd fallen asleep.

In the hallway, Jeff finally wriggled free of your grasp, the look in his eyes mutinous, "Don't ever do that again," he snarled.

You weren't fazed.

"Come on," you said, beckoning him down the hall. "You can either go back to bed or raid the fridge with me; choice is yours."

Jeff stared at you for a moment, then muttered a curse under his breath and followed you to the kitchen.

(The key to get these done is to be very, very bored, because they're a very, very good cure for that.)