Okay, I'm going to be brutally honest. I was definitely put off from reading this when I saw that 1. this had NO description and 2. the title was not properly capitalized. For me, those two are big no-no's. If you're going to send me a story, at least make sure you have a good description and are properly capitalizing the title.

Now onto the story itself. While it wasn't bad, it was nearly impossible to read because there was almost no punctuation to separate the sentences and then there were no paragraphs to separate the ideas. Safe to say I wasn't able to read the story very well.

I think your story has potential, you just need to edit it A LOT. There are people on wattpad who will help you with that if you're willing to ask. I'm more than willing to help and I know the writer @XxsilverlollipopXD will help you too because she loves editing people's works.