Please Note that Clint is in his late 20's and doesn't have a wife or kids because Hawksilver is life! Which also means that Pietro is alive.

Warnings: Swearing I think.

Ships: IronStrange, Hawksilver (it's mostly in part 2 tho) Stucky, ScarletVision.

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The brunette superhero giggled satanically as he looked at the horrified bully trembling before him. He didn't feel any remorse as he turned around and skipped off towards the caffeteria for lunch.

The principal, Mr Howards, took notice of Peter's hyper attitude when the teen raced down the halls. "Hold your horses, it's not like your friends are going to turn to dust while you walk to the cafeteria."

"I'll hold my horses. I'll hold them. You monster." Peter cried, glaring at the balding man as he ran past.

Mr Howards sighed and walked back to the office. He had realised the last time Peter had started spewing random refrences that it was best to just call Peter's parents to pick him up.

So that's what he did.

Peter was halfway through lunch when the office called him up. Before he left, the teenager decided to refrence Bill Cipher one last time.

Grabbing his water bottle he smirked at his friends. "I'm going to drink it like a human."

He sqwirted the water all over his face before running out of the cafeteria, leaving his friends to die of laughter on the dirty floor.

The teen soon found himself in the back of one of his father's mulitple expensive cars. Happy, who had picked him up, held back a laugh as he looked at the drenched, slightly glittery teen.

Where the glitter had come from nobody knows.

"How-" Happy was inturrupted quickly, Peter having taken this opertunity to show his love for musicals.

"-does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a
Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten
Spot in the Caribbean by Providence, impoverished, in squalor
Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?" Peter sung purposely very off key.

The head of security stared at Peter for a few seconds before opening his mouth. Happy had wanted to say something along the lines of 'The hell was that?!' but, once again, he was interrupted.

"The-" Happy tried to started, but he did not succeed.

"-demon queen of high school has decreed it
She says Monday, 8am I will be deleted
They'll hunt me down in study hall
Stuff and mount me on the wall
Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?
I don't have to stay and die like cattle
I could change my name and ride up to Seattle
But I don't own a motorbike
Wait, here's an option that I like
Spend these thirty hours getting freaky!" Peter cried, throwing his hands in the air.

Happy gave up trying to talk to Peter after that.

The rest of the car ride was uneventful, other then the fact that Peter screamed bloody murder when he looked and the window and saw a double rainbow.

"Where's He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?" Peter asked, walking into the kitchen after arriving at the tower. No, the teen was not refering to a certain noseless fiend, but his father, Stephen Stark-Strange, instead.

Bucky and Steve both looked at him confused, still not having watched Harry Potter.

"I-I have no idea... What... Who's 'He-Who-Must-Bot-He-Named'?" Bucky questioned, he had not been this confused since he first heard Natasha reference Budapest.

"I can't spell his name. Okay, where is The-Not-So-Emo-Bruce-Secret-Identity-Person?" Peter asked, this time talking about Bruce Banner.

Steve just sighed and ignored Peter's question. Instead he asked his own. "Hey Peter, would you be able to cook dinner tonight? You can cook surprisingly well considering who your parents are."

"Oof!" Peter cried, clutching his heart at the insult to his fathers.

"But okay, I'll start cooking closer to dinner time!" Peter called, skipping out of the kitchen.

Minutes later Peter found himself walking down the hallways of Stark tower, trying to find the correct room.

"Aunty Naaaatttttt!" The brunette teen whined, walking into Natasha's bedroom.

"Yes Petey-pop?" The spider themed assasin called back from her place on the bed.

Peter bounced over to his aunty and sat next to her. "Want to rewatch the fifth season of Ru Paul's Drag Race with me?"

"Bitch yes! Squirrel friends for life!" Natasha shrieked, seeming to pull a laptop out of thin air.

The duo spent nearly 4 hours watching episode after episode, until Nick Fury decided he needed his best assassin.

Natasha sighed and put her laptop back into thin air, seriously the chick has got to have some sort of superpowers to be able to do half the things she does.

"It seems it seems it's time for me to sashay away!" She cried as they stood up.

"Be back in time for dinner or I'm eating all your chocolate, and remember; if you can't love yourself how the hell are you going to love somebody else!" Peter said walking out of his mama spider's bedroom.

The loud shout of 'Amen!' could be heard as he walked back towards the kitchen.

Still having an hour before he could start dinner, he decided to spend some time with his other family members.

"Hey doctor dad, have you seen Wanda, Vision, Clint, or Peitro?" He asked, bouncing into his parents room after knocking, of course.

Stephen, who was sitting on one of the large reading chairs (it was a realy big room), took a long sip of his real cup of tea before spilling the metaphorical stuff.

"Clint and Peitro are apparently on a 'secret mission' which just means they are on a date. Wanda and Vision are following them and taking picture in order to get blackmail."

"We stan the Queens of blackmail and a secret couple!" Peter cried, clutching his heart.

After a few more minutes of gossiping Peter thought of his other father. "Have you seen dad at all today?"

A loud bang and a couple of shouts came from the walk in closet to Peter's right.

The brunette teen looked over at the large white doors with a couch pushed against them, then back to his doctor dad.

Doctor Strange took another sip of his tea before picking up a book. "He had it coming."

Peter just couldn't help but take the oppitunity to start singing Cell Block Tango.

"He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd a been there, if you'd a seen it
I betcha you would've done the same
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!" The teen sang/screamed, walking out of his fathers room.

Peter, knowing everbody was busy, decided to start dinner.

Before you ask, Loki was busy trying to find a way to make Thor think he was shrinking, and Thor was trying to turn his hair from red back to it's original blonde.

So Peter, all by his lonesome, grabbed out a his 17 bottles of blue food dye and got to work.

Regular food was so boring. Tasty yes, but incredibly boring.

Pizza, pasta, salad, bread rolls, and bottles of milk and juice sat on the large table. The pefect meal for any glutten loving family, except it was all blue.

Every single piece of food was dyed a different shade of blue!

Not only was everything blue, but rainbow glitter covered everything. The glitter was edible, off course, as Peter didn't want to murder his family.

The Avengers, including a smirking Loki, a red haired Thor, a 'secret' couple, an amused Wanda, a confused Vision, an unamused Stephen, a blood splattered Nat, a disheveled Tony, and a tired Bruce, all stared at the table of food.

"Is... is it edible?" Bruce asked, poking a piece of light blue bread.

Peter grinned, sitting down at the table and serving himself. "Yup! And for dessert we have blue chocolate chip cookies!"

The rest of the heroes sat down and grabbed food to try.

Loki smiled at Peter, enjoying the blue food greatly. "Well, even if it's an odd choice of colour, this is the best food I have ever eaten."

"I can't believe that someone related to me could make something like this!" Clint exclaimed, licking his plate.

Peter blinked at him. "We aren't related whatsoever."