This chapter was requested by @Nobody2USweetie and I greatly apologise for how long it took.

Also, I'm making Harley Peter's brother because I can. Simple. And I think Tumblrs finally got to me... I don't know about you guys but the screaming goat is constantly in the back of my mind. I can't stop it and it's messing me up.

If you want to make friends (and want to be able to say that you've joined a cult), join my 'Being Nice To People To Make Friends Because We're Socially Awkward' Cult/discord server! I'll put a link in the comments next to this paragraph when I post it:

If the link doesn't work, message me and I'll send you a new one!

Ships: SpideyPool, Stucky, IronStrange, Thoruce, ScarletVision, HawkSilver, Shurichelle, and Harley x Loki (Haroki? Larley? Loley? Idk, whichever one you guys like I'll use in the future, if people even like this ship)

Warnings: Swearing (you guys should be used to it by now, though), mentions of a racist Karen, mentions of a Cocaine bowling ball, mentions of the Trumps, threats of physical violence, bullying.

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"Shut the fuck up, you dumb bitch ass sluts!" Peter cried, throwing himself out of the closest classroom window.

The sound of three face palms (the teacher's, Ned's, and MJ's) and a chorus of snickers came from behind him as he left the school grounds.

His classmates had been bullying him all week over his 'fake' internship. He honestly didn't care about their cruelty but also didn't want to do HPE in the next period, so he'd decided to run away - blaming it on the bullying.

You see, Peter and his class were going on a tour of Stark Tower - the same Stark Tower that he lived in with his fathers and faked an internship with to keep his identity secret.

So yeah, his classmates were right, but they were also wrong because they were all dumb bitch ass sluts who couldn't mind their own gods-be-damned business!

Yeah, he was a tad bit angry.

"Sluts!" He screamed, bursting into the living room of the Tower - a good two hours before he was due him.

His family, who were sprawled around the large lounge room, didn't blink an eye at his sudden appearance, his scream, or his lack of school attendance.

"Hey, kid." Tony mumbled to his son, not looking up from his phone. He was having a Twitter war with Donald Trump, who he'd called a 'stanky orange twat' at least three times already and it had only been 20 minutes.

Peter just groaned, slumping across the floor at his parents feet.

"Why don't you go see what Loki and your brother are up to?" Stephen asked, looking over from his own phone. He was also having a Twitter war, but with Trump's wife, Melania. They were comparing wedding rings currently, and Stephen was winning.

Peter groaned louder. "Nah, they're on a date in Central Park, dressed up In realistic Shrek costumes and skimpy genie outfits over the top, belly dancing to 'Hips Don't Lie' by Shakira."

Tony and Stephen muttered something which sounded suspiciously like 'weird motherfuckers', mainly because that's exactly what they said.

"Those evil children are far too chaotic for their own good." Steve said from a recliner, shaking his head. His boyfriend, Steve, nodded in agreement, not looking up from the cursed comments subreddit he was reading through.

"I'm just gonna go to sleep, I think. Maybe post some shitty fanfics, dress up in drag, and start a fight on Discord." Peter announced, hoping up from the floor.

"Bye." His family sluggishly called as he left the room.

And that's exactly what he did.

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"Ahhhh, bitchhhhh, what the fuck?!" Peter screeched, falling out of his bed.

"Get up, loser, you're late for school! You sleep like the dead!" Harley announced, standing in Peter's doorway, holding his potato launcher.

Harley left the room with a laugh, announcing it was 9:45am, only a couple minutes before his field trip arrived. The younger teen groaned in pain as he got up off the floor, gingerly touching the spot on his back that he'd been hit with the potato and cursing his brother with revenge.

Looking down at himself, Peter shrugged in contempt. He was wearing sweatpants which were clean enough according to the sleepy teen.

Next he refused to grab a T-shirt because fuck those tight, constricting monstrosities, deciding to grab a clean hoody out of his closet - which just so happened to belong to his mostly secret boyfriend, Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson.

Running over to Tony's private elevator, which was twice as fast as a regular elevator and contained a small Starbucks stand and an employee was was payed well above minimum wage to make the Avengers and Co drinks.

"Hey Riley, give me the most sugary and awakening thing you can legally give me, please?" Peter begged, slumping across their counter.

"Sure thing." Riley said in response, handing the teen an hot pink, sparkly drink that could have been poison but he didn't care.

"You're getting a raise!" Peter exclaimed, taking a sip of what tasted like liquid cotton candy.

Peter's class was extremely surprised when Tony Stark's private elevator arrived in the lobby and he walked out. However, nobody cared enough to mention it, other then Flash who was making snide remarks.

Peter greeted his friends as the tour began, getting face palms from both of them. "Hey, guys!"

"Peter, what the absolute fuckity fuck fuck fuck?" Ned half hissed, pointing to his hoody.

For someone who was so adamant over not coming out to his family about having a boyfriend, he was truely a dumbass for not checking to make sure the hoody he was wearing didn't say 'WILSON' in big bold letters across the back.

"Fuck." Peter said simply, knowing that he couldn't just take off his hoody because he was shirtless underneath.

It was at that point that Flash also took notice of the hoody. "Oi, Penis Parker, is that your boyfriend's name on the back of your hoody? I bet it is, gay boy."

The trio all simply raised an eyebrow at Flash, staring at him until he got nervous and walked to the front of the group - out of earshot,

"Oh well," the teen shrugged as the group came to a stop, "MJ, your girlfriend is upstairs."

MJ, who was planning to chew Peter out about his hoody, also, got a dopey grin on her face as she thought about Shuri.

"Ah, to be young and in love." Steve said, jumping out from a card board cut out of himself.

The class (minus Peter), the teacher, and the tour guide screamed in fright, jumping backwards.

"Scaredy cats." Bucky announced, emerging from behind his own cut out. Everyone but Peter screamed again.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other and laughed, before the prior of the two took Peter's phone out of his pocket and handed it to him.

"Here you guy, Petey, some asshole on Discord has been messaging you nonstop about... turkey sauce? I think?" Steve muttered the last part, sounding super confused.

"Anyway, well let you get back to your tour, byeeeee!" Bucky cried, waving at everybody as they disappeared back behind the cut outs.

Everyone but Peter was staring, open mouthed, at the space where the heroes had been standing, but eventually shook out of their shock and moved on with the tour.

As the group entered the training room, they had their second abnormal experience with an Avengers couple - this time Clint and Pietro.

Sliding down the two gym-class-esk ropes dangling from the ceiling, the HawkSilver couple posed like inexperienced strippers. They each held a glitter silver high heel out to Peter, who took them in confusion.

Clint looked at him with a grin. "Don't forget your shoes next time, Pete."

"Yeah, its a safety hazard. Wouldn't want you stepping on glass or anything." Pietro agreed, laughing loudly.

"Thanks?" Peter said questioningly, getting no response.

Instead the two heroes began awkwardly climbing up the ropes, shooing the tour out of the training room when they realised they didn't have the upper body strength to pull themselves up.

The clearly shaken tour guide quickly directed the group into the next room, wondering if she should have abandoned human existence and become a tree instead of working at Stark Tower.

Flash, who seemed to have built up his ego again, sauntered back over with a grin. "I bet your boyfriend his super ugly, which is why you've never mentioned him."

Another trio of long stares caused him to scuttle again. They were getting pretty good at this staring thing, to be honest.

As they entered a lab on the second floor, a loud Tarzan cry was heard from one of the closers.

"Ignore him," Bruce Banner, the owner of the lab and Peter's uncle, said, "Thor will be let out when the monkey serum he ingested wears off."

"The what?!" Everyone shouted, taking a big step away from the thumping door.

"Monkey serum." Bruce repeated simply before his eyes fell on Peter. "Hey Peter, have you seen the Cocaine bowing ball? Lab 17 needs it for an experiment and it's gone missing."

"Nope, have you checked Harley's room? He'd probably sell it to buy a life sized Sponge-Bob statue, knowing him." Peter replied, getting a 'hmm' from the scientist.

Bruce rubbed his chin. "Yes, that does sound like something he'd do. I'd suggest you all leave now, however, as I believe the Monkey serum will give him one last burst of super strength any second now."

The wood of the cupboard door began to shatter mere moments later, resulting in the tour leaving the room as fast as they possibly could.

As everybody regained their breaths on the next floor (after running up the stairs, to safety), the tour guide sighed. "We'll go to one more room, take a bathroom break, then go to lunch, okay?"

Everyone mumbled in agreement, following her into a nearby room.

All was good for 15 minutes - the class actually learned some stuff, everyone was relieved by the lack of weirdness, and nobody died.

Then the clicking of heels could be heard.

"Peter," The Black Widow said, entering the room with her wife (Pepper), "Did you use my hair curler yesterday? I threatened to curl the tongue of this bitchy racist Karen in the lobby and now need to make good on my threats."

"Nah, but you can use mine. Under my sink, to the left of the fluffy pink bathrobes." Peter answered subconsciously, getting confused looks from his classmates. He hadn't been paying any attention, thinking only of chicken nuggets.

The female couple thanked him and left quickly, arguing about which direction would be better to curl in - left or right.

Ned turned to his friend and hissed a quick 'Peter!', knocking him out of his daze.

As the group headed towards the bathroom area, they were met by Vision and Wanda who were dressed like geese and simply squawked at them. They hugged Peter before they left, of course, to embarrass him further then he already was.

Finally the group was seated in the cafeteria and Peter had his nuggets. All was well, right?

No. Fuck no. That is fanfiction! Nothing's right, EVER.

Eugene Thompson decided to be an absolute dick and walk up to Peter, screaming that he was something the author won't even type. (But it starts with an f and means bundle of sticks, capesh?)

That's when Wade appeared out of nowhere, overhearing what Flash said, and going full over-protective boyfriend on him.

As Wade gruesomely threatened Flash while Peter tried to calm him from the sidelines, Friday informed the Avengers and Co of what was going on - making them basically sprint towards the cafeteria.

Throwing the door open, they arrived just in time to witness the end of Wade's threatening and him turning around to pull Peter into a kiss.

That's when Tony went full on Irondad mood.

Chasing Deadpool around the room for daring to kiss his son, while also throwing random people's shoes at him, Tony screamed. "Get back here you... you... chipotle loving bastard!"