You'll be able to tell from this chapter why I should never be allowed to plan weddings, or write speeches for them. Ever.

This is request from OchaFei and it took me absolutely forever to write! I did like 9 different drafts because the other 8 were all super uninteresting. Anyway, sorry for the lateness!

I decided I'd de-age Wade, Weasel and Vanessa (who are Wade's friends, not a love interest in Vanessa's case) to 20, and Peter is 19.

Ships: Spideypool, Ironstrange, Maytasha, Shurichelle

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of public nudity (well, assumed at least), mentions of homophobic Chads, and mentions on innuendos

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Peter Stark-Strange, the 18 year old son of Tony and Stephen Stark-Strange, looked down at his white suit covered in splatters of rainbow splatter, giddy with anticipation. "I can do this! I can do this!"

(Kinda like this, I had to photoshop it to get something similar to what I wanted)

"Of course you can, kiddo." Tony said walking up behind him, a teary eyed Stephen and May in tow.

"My baby's all grown up!" May sobbed, shooting forward and yanking Peter info a hug.

May was Peter's biological aunt, but his parents decided to put him up for adoption when he was just a toddler. He was such a beautiful, intelligent and kind child, that by the time May and Ben had the proper paperwork filled out to begin the adoption process, he was already Peter Stark-Strange.

The two heroes had been completely understanding - allowing May and Ben to constantly visit, up until Ben died. After that May moved into the Tower and had become a part of their little family. She'd later married Natasha, and become May Romanoff.

"Aunt May, don't cry!" Peter exclaimed, squeezing her back. "Weddings aren't made for tears!"

May simply sobbed harder. "I know, I know, but look at you! You're all grown up and getting married to the man of your dreams!"

Natasha waltzed into the room to console her wife, smiling at her nephew. "You're absolutely radiant, Petey. I'll get May cleaned up and we'll meet you inside."

With her arms wrapped comfortingly around May, Natasha steered her out of the dressing room and into a nearby women's restroom.

Mere minutes later Peter was walking down the aisle - Stephan to his left and Tony to his right, and his assortment of bridesmaids lined up in front of him.

Groot was acting as flower girl (and doing a mighty fine job at it, might I add) so he stood at the very front of the queue.

Ned, Shuri, and MJ, made up the bridesmaid party - Each of them wearing outfits chosen to reflects their sexuality and personality.

Shuri and MJ wore pink, white and orange pantsuits, while Ned wore a purple, blue, and pink suit. (This is just how I see their sexualities, if you think differently feel free to comment your thoughts!)

Instead of the usual wedding song, the Brittany Spears 'Work Bitch' was playing loudly from the speakers and sprinkles of silver glitter fell from the roof.

Some of the crowd was rather confused by the lack of formality, but they didn't say anything. Not even when Peter arrived at the alter and a Priest in a Barney The Dinosaur costume burst out from the white wall behind the soon-to-be husbands.

"It's Brittany bitch!" The priest yelled, getting a chorus of cheers from the crowd. 

Now, who was Peter getting married to? That's the very obviously answered question because of the title.

Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, of course!

Wade stood next to Peter at the altar, grinning ear to ear. He was wearing a white suit covered in the pansexual flag colours.

(I know there is purple in this one, but I couldn't find any paint splatters with only the colours I wanted)

Besides him stood his Best-People, Weasel and Vanessa. Weasel wore a similar suit to Ned, and Vanessa's dress matched Wade's suit.

"Blah, blah, please say your vows." Barney said, gesturing towards Peter.

Peter grinned, looking at his fiancé. "My dearest Merc with a mouth, I can't wait to be dumb together as husbands  — just plain stupid. Make bad choices, eat the wrong things, take wrong turns, and then we'll tell great stories of our dumbassery, the same ones — for ever and ever until no one can stand us but each other. Hopefully, our future adoptive children will be the same level of chaotic stupid as us."

The crowd awed over the 19 year old's vows, and a light echo of laughter filled the room. It was then Wade's turn.

"First of all," Wade said, gesturing to Peter up and down. "Dammmmn! You look fine!"

Loud laughter came from the crowd and Peter blushed.

"Secondly, I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome. Old wrinkly superheroes doing old wrinkly superhero things." Wade continued, getting a 'pffft!' from his husband.

"And lastly, I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Without you, my dumbassery would have likely sent me to prison. Maybe for murder, maybe for shooting Donald Trump with a glitter bomb. But prison either way." Deadpool shrugged, getting another round of laughter from the attendees.

The costume wearing priest continued on with the ceremony. "Blah Blah Blah, marriage, Blah Blah Blah, equality. We're going to skip the whole 'I do' thing because you both clearly want to get married. You may now kiss the groom!"

Peter and Wade leaned forward, into a kiss as the crowd cheered loudly from behind them.

————

Half the crowd was already close to drunk when it came time to enter the reception.

Everyone from the X-men to the Guardians of The Galaxy, and then to a bunch of Peter and Wade's school friends, filled the room.

Everyone was having a great time Tik Tok dancing in groups, ballroom dancing to Hamilton, and chaotically dancing to Taylor Swift.

A gentle hush filled the room as Weasel began his Best-man speech. "I remember the day Peter and Wade started dating like it was only yesterday, even though it was nearly three years ago."

"Wade burst into English class a good 30 minutes late, which was pretty usual for him, but instead of quietly taking his seat, he announced to the entire room that; 'I just saw the most incredible guy in the world... I'm in love with Peter Stark-Strange.' And so, after class, he walked up to Peter and asked him out." Weasel continued, getting a snicker from the large room of guests.

"He did the same thing right before they got engaged, too. I was working at my dad's bar when Wade burst through the door and announced; 'I see the most incredible guy in the world every single day... I'm in love with Peter Stark-Strange and I'm going to ask him to marry me.' That night he took Peter to a comic convention, both of them dressed in their super-suits, and proposed."

"Little did the other people at the convention know they were the actual Spider-Man and Deadpool, because when they removed their masks to kiss, everybody lost their shit." A wave of laughter echoed from the crowd as Weasel made his final statements before exiting the stage.

Vanessa went next, grinning as the crowed silenced. "I've known since Wade and Peter's first date that they'd be married eventually. Wade's always been a bit of a chaotic crack head, to be honest, and Peter's such a Smol bean that they even each other out."

A snicker rang through the crowd, everybody knowing that was true.

"I remember this one time I was woken up at 3am by a phone call from a laughing Peter. It was their 3rd or 4th date and Wade had been arrested for running down the streets of New York, naked and covered in wedding cake." The crowd burst out laughing and Vanessa continued.

"Honestly, I thought it was a prank call at first. That was until I arrived at the police station to find Wade, dressed in a skin tight muscle suit perfectly coloured to match his skin tone - fake hair and all - grinning in a cell. They had actually thought Wade was naked. The suit didn't have any genitalia, of course, but the police arrested him anyway."

"Peter wasn't arrested, but he was sitting in the stations lobby wearing a Marie Antoinette costume, holding a half destroyed wedding cake. The moment he saw me, Peter shrugged and said 'Let them eat cake, I suppose.'"

The queasing laughter died down as Venessa left the stage, being replaced by Ned.

"I've been writing my wedding speech since I first met Peter. I knew that one day I'd be his best man, and then that changed to the maid of honour after he met Wade. I recognise my place here; a maid of honour is similar to a dead body at a funeral, after all. Of course you are expected to be there, but if you say too much then people start freaking out." Ned said jokingly, getting a  burst of laughter from the crowd.

"Wade's a great guy, all in all. A bit of a loose cannon at times, and will likely end up in an asylum by the age of 30, but he loves and will protect Peter, and that's all that matters."

"Unlike Vanessa, I didn't really know if Wade and Peter would actually be together forever, not for a while at least. I remember when I actually knew they were meant to be, though. We - Shuri, MJ, Weasel, Vanessa, Wade, Peter, and I - decided to go to Walmart as a group one day, and were stopped by a group of homophobic Chads in their early 30s."

"They sprung out of nowhere, took one look at Peter's rainbow sweater, and began hurling insults at him. Wade obviously didn't take that well, and within minutes they were sprawled across the pavement - broken bones and bruises a plenty. That was when I knew they'd be married before Peter turned 20."

The crowd awwed as Ned left the stage, making space for both Shuri and MJ to take their joint turn.

"Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted us to give a speech!" MJ said, holding up a glass.

"I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with our speech." Shuri continued, holding up her own glass.

"Before we begin, I must explain that, this morning Peter asked me to remove anything resembling an innuendo from our speech because Cap was going to be here. The old geezer. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'm sure Bucky will be a dear and cover his ears immediately." MJ explainer, getting a laugh from the crowd.

Shuri grinned, looking down at the cards in her hands - face morphing into one on pretend horror. "Oh dear, my jokes seem to be all innuendos. Oh well, MJ, are your notes anymore PG?"

"Oh, this paper isn't my notes – it's a picture of the bottle of Jack Daniels I'm going to down as soon as this is over." MJ said, holding the picture up for the crowd - who were laughing obnoxiously - to see.

"What was our speech, again?" Shuri asked MJ, who just shrugged. "Oh well, congratulations to the happy couple!"

The two left the stage quickly, taking their seats at the end head table as Peter turned to Wade. "I love our friends."

Wade grinned at his new husband. "Same, but I love you more."