Wow! A continuous supply of  Spideypool and Spiderfrost, and now Spiderchair, SpiderVenom, and WinterSpider in a row! Yes, this chapter is WinterSpider, if you haven't already guessed.

This chapter was requested by supersher7 (their username has changed since I took the screenshot, I believe).

Also, I used a song generator to make the song later on in that chapter, so if you want to use it - it'll likely be the first thing that pops up if you search for one.

Ships: WinterSpider (I'm de-ageing Bucky to 18, and Peter is 17), Stony (Steve is his regular age, but he and Bucky weren't friends in the past, instead Steve had a different friend who actually died), and BlackPepper

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of torture (in the form of a very badly written song), a badly written song

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Peter didn't know much about relationships.

I mean, he was kidnapped at 3 years old by hydra - being taken from his fathers (Tony and Steve) and surrogate mother (Pepper) - so he had grown up loveless and alone.

He'd been returned to his parents at 16 (along with his 17 year old boyfriend Bucky), of course, and his relationship with them was just like any other loving parent-child relationship. But he still had a major deficit when it came to love, in general, even after being with his family for a year.

So, when it came to how to help the person he loved most in the world, he had no clue what to do.

I mean, what do you do when your boyfriend spends 3 hours every single day staring at himself in the bathroom mirror, calling himself a monster internally?

It wasn't really a question you could ask on reddit, really, and his parents and surrogate mother had no idea, either.

Pepper's wife, Natasha Potts-Romanoff, on the other hand, did.

"Peter," Nataaha said softly one day, sitting down next to him as he tried to figure how to help his boyfriend, "telling him he's perfect won't help. You've got to show him. That's what Pepper did for me."

"How?" Peter asked, a stern look on his face.

Natasha smirked. "You'll have to figure that out on your own, Petey."

And so he did.

After days of continuous planning, he cornered his fathers, and explained his plan.

They were hesitant at first. I mean, what parents wouldn't be if their 17 year old son wanted to get a tattoo.

But they gave in eventually and even decided to take him to one of the New York tattoo parlours, claiming that it would be safer for him to get the tattoo under adult supervision.

A couple days later, after the redness from his tattoo had dissipated, his plan was ready to commence.

After dating Bucky for two years, Peter knew his daily routine pretty well. So he decided to wait until Bucky was returning from lunch to strike.

"Boo, bitch! Surprise!" Peter screamed, jumping into the room from the hallway and scaring Bucky. "You're perfect as you are!"

"Ahhh-! Peter?" Bucky screeched, clutching his chest in fright.

Peter nodded, clapping his hands together after every word of the following sentences. "You. Are. Not. A. Monster! You. Are. Perfect. As. You. Are!"

"Peter, I am and you-" The Winter Soldier began, but was cut off by Peter's tututu-ing.

"No! I love you, bitch! And I'm never gonna stop loving you, bitch!" Peter quoted.

That had been the first vine both of them had ever heard, which was because one of the Hydra security guards was watching a Vine compilation and didn't realise his headphones weren't plugged in until that Vine was over.

It had also been how Bucky has asked him out - during the music training session, he'd found a guitar and used it to recreate the Vine.

"Peter, please, I'm just not, okay?" Bucky said, attempting to turn around.

Peter huffed and pulled off his jacket, revealing his newly tattooed arm. "Would I get something imperfect tattooed on my body? No. Never. Here's proof of how perfect you are."

Bucky froze, turning back around at lightning speed. His mouth fell agape as he stared at Peter's left arm - which was tattooed in away that made it look almost identical to Bucky's metal arm. The only real difference was the Spider-Man symbol in the place of the Winter Soldier one.

"You... you tattooed your whole arm? For me?" Bucky whispered, eyes glossy with tears.

Peter froze, had he made the wrong decision? Was Bucky upset that he got the tattoo? Would this make his boyfriends self hatred even worse?

A million questions ran through his anxiously negative mind.

Bucky shot forward, pulling Peter into a hug. "I... I don't know what to say... Thank you. What have I done to deserve a boyfriend like you?"

"Pfft, everything, Bucky!" Peter exclaimed, squeezing his better a tad bit too hard.

"So, was getting a tattoo your only idea?" Bucky asked with a smirk, raising an eyebrow.

Peter rolled his eyes. "Who do you think I am? An idiot? No."

"At first I wanted to get my dads to buy me an amusement park so I could rename it 'Buckyland' and have you themed rides," Peter explained, "but then I changed my mind and wanted to make you a parade."

"Then I wanted to hunt down a bunch of Hydra agents and force them to create a bunch of badly produced dis-tracks on the Hydra leaders. For your entertainment, and all." Peter continued, smiling at his laughing boyfriend.

"That would have been awesome!" Bucky proclaimed loudly.

A mischievous grin covered the younger teen's face. "Which is why I did that as well!"

"You did?!" Bucky cried, face lighting up.

"Yep, and the fam's all waiting in the lounge room with snacks, if you'd like to watch them!" Peter announced before following his now cheerful and sprinting towards the lounge room boyfriend.

The teens slammed themselves into the crowded couch (which also contained all the Avengers, Loki, and Pepper) and the video started.

"Holy fuck, it's Johnny! That guy was awful!" Bucky said, looking at the overweight middle aged man on the screen who was attempting to look cool while dressed as a wrapper.

A tittle screen with the words 'Muppets Or Torture (About The Hydra Leader) by Johnny Johnny' appeared for a moment before disappearing. The music began to play.

"You get on with life as a Leader,
You're a smelly kinda person.
You like collecting stamps on Sundays,
You like being a dick in the week." Johnny's off-tuned, overly auto tuned voice rapped.

And the song continued...

"You like to contemplate muppets.
But when you start to daydream,
Your mind turns straight to torture."

"Sometimes I look at you and I look into your eyes,
I notice the way you think about torture with a smile,
Curved lips you just can't disguise.
But you think it's muppets making your life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for you to decide which you love more?
Muppets or...
Torture?"

"Muppets or torture?
Which one do you love more?
Muppets or torture?"

Everyone was in hysterics at that point. Not only did the song not rhyme (at all), and his singing was atrocious, but his writing skills were horrid!

"You like to use words like 'whoops,'
You like to use words like 'crikey.'
You like to use words about muppets.
But when you stop your talking,
Your mind turns straight to torture."

"Sometimes I look at you and I look into your eyes,
I notice the way you think about torture with a smile,
Curved lips you just can't disguise.
But you think it's muppets making your life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for you to decide which you love more?
Muppets or...
Torture?"

The group was loudly singing/shouting along to the lyrics.

"Muppets or torture?
Which one do you love more?
Muppets or torture?"

"You like to hang out with Rob,
You like to kick back with Dave,
But when left alone,
Your mind turns straight to torture."

"Muppets or torture?
Which one do you love more?
Muppets or torture?"

The song faded out with its last three lines, leaving the avengers clutching their sides they were laughing so hard.

If only the Hydra leader could actually watch that video! His reaction would be hilarious.

Once everyone had calmed down, Peter grinned and clicked a button on the remote. "Now it's time to watch the 'Spaghetti Monster Car Wash' one!"