This is a request by DatQueerMess and I am very sorry for how long it has taken.

Anyway, this is day 3 of posting every day until the 26th... woo...

Ships: Stony, Parley, Thoruce, BlackPepper

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of weapons, mentions of Christmas themed strippers, other stuff?

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Peter Stark-Rogers, or Parker according to his class, had a bad feeling the moment the first ring echoed through his classroom.

"Mr Parker, you know the rules." Mr Hall exclaimed, clearly giddy. The teacher quickly abandoned the white board, grabbing out bucket of popcorn from his draw. "Put it on speaker."

Peter's maths teacher had a rule that if you receive a phone call in class, it must be placed on speaker. These phone calls were then rated out of 10, and whoever had the most interesting phone call of the week received a prize.

"You brought popcorn?" MJ asked, amused by their Math teacher's antics.

Mr Hall shrugged. "My physic barista told me to. She said today would be realllllly interesting. Now, Peter, time to face the music."

Peter sighed deeply, accepting the call and placing it on speaker.

"Oh good, you picked up. Peter, your lunch is in the fridge. Are you okay? Did you have something to eat?" Tony exclaimed, going into over protective parent mode.

"Dad, I-" Peter tried to explain, blushing as he become flustered.

"Uh, uh, uh! Did you or did you not eat lunch?" Tony repeated, sternly.

"No, I didn't, but-"

There was a light tutting from Tony. "Happy will be picking you up at three o'clock and will immediately take you to McDonald's. Your friends may go, too, but you will be eating!"

"DAD!" Peter exclaimed, turning even redder as the class laughed loudly.

"Food, PETER! You need food to LIVE!" Tony yelled in response.

Peter threw his hands up in the air. "Fine, okay! I love you, goodbye!"

"Love you too, kiddo!" Tony replied, hanging up.

There was a lightly murmur from the back of the class, as a few students recognised the voice as Tony Stark, but were too surprised to do much else.

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After Peter's rating of 7/10, which was mainly due to Tony's dramatic yell of needing food to live, he didn't even have time to sit down before his phone rang again.

Peter sighed loudly, while the teacher began handing out packets of chips and soft drink cans to the other students.

The time, the caller was Peter's boyfriend, Harley. "Peter, your father is insufferable!"

"Har-?" Peter tried to interject, but was cut off by his boyfriend.

"He wants us to clean the lab when you get home. US! YOU AND I! We only made half of that mess!"

Peter winced. "Well-"

"Okay, maybe we did all of it, but still! It isn't our fault that the glitter cement guns didn't go as planned!"

Everyone in the class were giving Peter odd, concerned, and extremely amused looks at that point. This made Peter attempt to interject again. "I mean-"

"Or the tarter sauce and feather bazooka!"

"Eh-"

"Or the hot sauce and perfume bomb!"

"Actually-"

Harley spluttered loudly. "All of those weapons are necessary for villain fighting! What a superhero without a few odd weapons?!"

"Harley, I'M IN CLASS! We'll talk later!" Peter exclaimed, hanging up the phone while the class burst into confused laughter.

This phone all was rated an 8/10, and unleashed a tidal wave of weird phone calls from his family members. 

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"Peter...?" The familiar voice of Hawkeye called as the teen answered.

"Yes...?" Peter replied, meek and exasperated.

"So, hypothetically, If I was dangling from a stick, right above an active volcano... what should I do?" Clint asked.

The class gapped at Peter, who's voice went two octaves higher. "UNCLE CLINT, YOU'RE WHAT?!"

There was a loud beep, and Clint sighed in relief. "Fury's here in the helicopter - I'm good. Soooo... how's school going?"

"I... I'll see you this afternoon." Peter replied, ending the phone call.

8/10, again.

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"Peter," Steve, Peter's other father, started with an exasperated sigh. "Walmart just called."

Peter made an odd choking sound. "Uh oh."

"You covered all their Christmas trees in spray on cheese and alphabet beads." His unimpressed father began.

The teenager winced, attempting to explain himself before being cut off. "Dad, I can expla-"

"No - I'm not done. You destroyed their Christmas trees, then paid a bunch of strippers in Christmas themed costumes to chase middle aged women who seemed to be acting like Karens."

"I mean... yes?" Peter replied, unsure what to say. He couldn't just deny it - he'd done it, after all, with the help of his friends and boyfriend.

Steve fell silent for a few seconds. "Good job."

"Huh?" The teenager answered, surprised.

"Good job, kid." And with that, he hung up.

8/10, down from 9/10 due to mentally scaring a teenager who began to imagine stripper frosty the snowman.

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"Did you put a baby seal in my bathtub this morning?" Bruce asked immediately, not bothering to greet the teen.

"Baby seal- oh, oh no. Gilbert?" Peter replied, gasping in horror.

"So it was you!" Bruce exclaimed. "The Hulk has a massive fear of baby seals! He's throwing a temper tantrum in my mind and I'm out of aspirin."

If the class hadn't already connected the dots on who Peter really was, they had now.

"Sorry, Uncle Bruce. I meant to give that to Uncle Thor... he wanted to fight it off as a gesture of how much he loves you." Peter responded, blushing in embarrassment,

"Oh... oh. Well, just give it to him when you get home, okay? I'll go... do something away from the seal. Bye, Pete." Bruce hung up the phone quickly, before Peter could say his goodbyes.

7/10 for a good love story, and the seals name.

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"Hey, Uncle Thor." Peter was actually able to greet the god.

After a few long moments, there was a loud squeak and Thor spoke up. "Hello, young Peter! I think we may have a situation - Gilbert has been kidnapped."

The class dramatically gasped, with one kid in the back yelling out a 'dun, dun, dun!'.

"Oh, no, Uncle Th-"

"I have been in contact with Fury, who said he will send in some secret agents to find him."

"What, no!" Peter cried.

Thor sighed, his voice stern. "Yes, this is necessary. I have found evidence that Gilbert may have been taken to Australia."

"Australi-"

"I know, I know. Australia may not truely exist but we must try! I shall contact you when he is found!" Thor exclaimed, hanging up.

9/10.

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With the packets of chips all gone, coloured popcorn and chocolate bars were passed around, just in time for the final phone call.

The moment Natasha's name lit up the screen, Peter knew this call would be the worst of them all.

"Aunty Nat?" Peter answered the phone, getting a bright grin from MJ and Ned.

Loud battle sounds could be heard in the background as Natasha, in Russian spoke happily into the phone. "Little spider! I can't tell you how amazing that new shampoo is on my hair!"

(A.N I'm not even going to attempt to google translate any of this)

"That's amazing, Aunty Nat! Is it the one Aunty Pepper got you from Paris?" Peter replied in fluent Russian.

"One moment, Pete." Natasha replied in English, as the sounds of a large body being flipped on the ground and seven gun shots came through the phone. She immediately switched back to Russian to continue their conversation. "Yes, yes it is! Is smells like mangoes, too, which is a nice change from raspberry."

The class was gapping at their fellow student, with no one - not even Ned and MJ - knowing that he spoke Russian, much less fluent Russian. Mr Hall, however, did not seem surprised

The conversation continued, with Natasha stopping to fight people every minute or so, until she hung up, saying that her Starbucks Frappuccino was ready.

"10 out of 10 - you win!" Mr Hall cried, clapping loudly. "Even though I understood none of that, it was so dramatically brilliant."

Peter sighed, blushing in embarrassment as every eye in the class continued to be shot directly at him. They all now knew who he really was - the hidden away son of Tony and Steve Stark-Rogers.

"So, what's the prize?" Peter asked, looking at the teacher with an utterly miserable expression, knowing that once his non-friend classmates snapped out of it, he would have a lot of explaining to do.

"Your prize is.... the crate of feral cats in the parking lot!" Mr Hall exclaimed gleefully.

"WHAT?!"