Happy Pride Month, bitches! (I say bitches with adoration, not malice, of course)

Happy, happy, happy pride!!!! 🏳️‍🌈

This is a request by AliciaATM and I really hope you like it! I had soooo much fun writing the different scenes (I usually don't like working with songs but this was a lot of fun).

Ships: Parley, BlackPepper, IronStrange

Warnings: Swearing, minor implied classism, weapons, I don't really know what else...

————

"You ready, Peter?" Pepper Potts-Romanoff, Peter's adoptive aunt, called out, catching the attention of the teen.

Peter grinned, patting down the collar of his dress shirt. "As I'll ever be. Do you think I look good as a red head?"

"It's strawberry blonde," Pepper replied with a snicker, "but, yes. I do."

Long story short, Peter had lost a beat to one of his favourite aunts - Pepper. As such, Peter was spending the day as her.

His hair was dyed to match her shade identically, and he was absolutely rocking her favourite periwinkle and white glittery pantsuit. His fingernails were manicured in her usual French tip, and he'd perfected her mannerisms.

Not only was he to take her place for the day, but he was going to be the over-the-top, extremely dramatic version of Pepper, who was still an utter boss bitch.

The whole tower had been informed that Tony and Stephen's son, Peter, would be filling in for her for the day. Except, they were all expecting the air-headed, intelligent but ditzy person he put on for TV.

They were in for a massive surprise.

—————

There was silence in the main meeting room, which was filled with some of the most important people working for Stark Industries.

Then, off in the distance, very light words could be barely heard.

"I ain't tryna,"

"I ain't tryna,"

"I ain't tryna,"

"Do you hear that?" One of the head scientists asked, getting a look of confusion from the others.

That was when the doors were going open by Harley Keener, Peter's boyfriend and pretend assistant for the day.

The music was now louder, as if they were in tv show or movie, complete with theme music.

"Yeah, ain't tryna be cool like you,
Wobblin' around in your high-heeled shoes,
I'm clumsy, made friends with the floor,
Two for one, you know a bitch buy four."

A very snazzily dressed son of a billionaire strutted into the room, waving lightly at the room full of stunned geniuses. "Hidey-Hoe, payroll tops."

"Wait... no offence, Mr Stark-Strange, sir, but, we're meant to be meeting with Mrs Potts-Romanoff..." The highest ranking engineer, other than Tony Stark-Strange himself, trailed off.

"Yeah, but I'm her for the day so I guess you're stuck with me." Peter replied, shrugging lightly. "But speaking of meetings, here's todays topic - finances!"

Each meeting attendee groaned. Even the finance department head looked absolutely miserable.

"So Aunty Pepper went through all the finances for the last quarter, and congratulations! You've all kept your departments below the yearly expected spending amounts." Peter replied, smiling around the room. "Harley - hand out the stickers."

Harley went around the room, slapping 'Good job!', 'Way to go, superstar!', and 'Brilliant!' stickers on the chest of each attendee, who simply gapped in shock.

"Huh?" A woman meeped eventually, breaking up the silence.

"I'm surprised as you are," the teenager replied, "but pleasantly, of course. The Christmas bonuses for every employee will reflect these savings. Congratulations, once again."

Another long beat of silence followed, being broken by another person. "Whahhh?"

Peter frowned, looking around the room. "What else do you want me to say - you all did great! Anyway, I gotta go do boss bitch stuff somewhere else."

The teenage superhero grinned over at his boyfriend, waving goodbye to the meeting attendees.

"Peter Stark-Strange out, bitches. Friday, play my mix," The for-the-day CEO cried, sauntering out of the room.

The same song as earlier continued playing, which only added to the insanity of this whole ordeal.

"And two left feet, you know I always drop,
First thing a girl did was a bop,
I'm the whole damn cake and the cherry on top,
Shook up the bottom, made a good girl pop."

————

A larger number of people in various positions relating to Stark Industries were crowded inside the massive, decadent elevator.

Just as they reached the fifth floor, the music changed from that of a usual elevator to Doja Cat's song, Boss Bitch.

"You ain't even here to party,
Ken in the club tryna pipe a Barbie,"

The doors opened and two teenagers, one a few steps behind, came strutting towards the elevator.

"I don't wanna go, go, go with the flow,
Back-bend till I touch my toes, and,
I don't wanna row, row, row the boat,
Wrist full of rocks and I hope I float,"

Peter stepped into the lift first, sending everyone a dazzling smile, before Harley joined him.

"Big up yourself 'cause you know they don't
I chew, chew, chew 'cause they hope I choke."

"Howdy," Peter greeted, looking around at the gawking, "my name's Peter Stark-Strange, acting CEO, how are y'all doing?"

Even without the 'acting CEO' part, they were all marvelled to be in his presence. This was Peter Stark-Strange, genius son of Tony and Stephen Stark-Strange!

Before anyone could reply, Harley handed Peter his drink. "Here's your frappe - 80 percent brown sugar, ten percent vanilla ice-cream, and ten percent chocolate sauce."

"Awww, you do love me," Peter cooed, smiling at his boyfriend, then he remembered that they were boss and employee for a few more hours. "I mean... great work, assistant. Our platonic affection does not impend on our work."

A few people in the elevator let out matching shorts while others snickered.

Then the elevator dinged and Peter's them music begun playing once more.

"I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss."

Peter waved goodbye to the group before he and his 'assistant' left the elevator.

"I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss."

————

Peter was walking down the ninth floor when he saw a man throw a fist full of candy wrappers of the floor.

"Dude, maybe you should pick that up," the man's friend suggested, looking around awkwardly.

"Nah, that's why this place as cleaners," the first man replied, snickering. "I'm not doing their job for them."

Peter immediately shot over, music playing in the background.

"Said, bitch, I'm the after, you been the before,
I've been a stallion, you've been a sea horse,
Don't need a report, don't need a press run,
All of my bad pics been all my best ones."

"Ex-fucking-cuse you, Bitch, but pick up your own mess," Peter snapped, coming and a stop in front of the two men. "The cleaners are here to keep Stark Tower cleanly and void of potentially dangerous messes. They are not here to be your personal servants."

The man grunted, face heating up from shame, then anger. "Who do you think you are? Do you know who I am?! I'm-"

"John Willis, Senior undersecretary to the owner of some B-grade paper factory that we want nothing to do with, yet you insist that we need to sign a contract with you." Peter hissed out, knowing who that man was. "Calm your tits, Madam Umbridge."

"How dare you! Who even are you?!" John shouted back.

Peter let out a light laugh, hands placed firmly on his hips. "I'm Peter Stark-Strange, son of two Avengers, and acting CEO for the day. If I tell you to pick up your fucking rubbish, you pick it the fuck up."

John went pale, finally realising just how much hot water he'd gotten himself into. He leaned over and picked up the wrappers under the watchful eyes of Peter, who then strutted away with a disgusted huff.

They definitely weren't getting a contract.

"I wear the hat and I wear the pants,
I am advanced so I get advance,
And I do my dance and cancel their plans,
Said, boo, don't be mad 'cause you had a chance."

————

CEO's didn't usually act as tour guides, but when all the scheduled tour guides were busy and Pepper was free, she took up that role. A role which Peter happily took on, too.

"Remember students," a very tired looking teacher said, looking around the group of thirteen year olds, "best behaviours and absolutely no swearing, whatsoever."

Before any of the children could reply, music began playing throughout the entrance hall.

"Drop,
Said, I took it and I ran for it!
I run it and I stand on it!
Money on the floor when we dance on it,
Shine bright, finna put a tan on it!"

The large group of newly teenagers gapped openly at Peter as he sassily sauntered down the main staircase.

"Said, I took it and I ran for it!
I run it and I stand on it!
Money on the floor when we dance on it,
Shine bright, finna put a tan on it like."

Peter came to a stop in front of the group, smiling at the confused and somewhat mortified teacher, then at the student. "Hello, kids. My name's Peter Stark-Strange and I am both the acting CEO for the day, and you're tour guide."

"Oh my gawd, are you really?!" One of the girls cried out. "My older brother has a major crush on you!"

Peter smiled awkwardly, unsure how to really respond to such a declaration. "Huh, that's... sweet. Uhm, come along students, I'll show you the Avengers weapons room!"

"YES!" Came a synchronised cry from all the students, while the teacher let out a horrified 'No!'.

As the group made their way up the stairs, Peter's theme song begun playing once more.

"I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss."

"I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss."

—————

After an hour or two of ogling weaponry and Peter telling embarrassing stories about each Avenger, a different tour guide took over. This meant that Peter could spend the last out of his day with his favourite Stark Industries workers.

The interns.

Unlike most other businesses, SI interns were payed well above minimum wage because they deserved it. This meant that they got the best minds around, despite their financial situations. They were also extremely hard workers, so the money paid off.

However, their status as hard workers was also a bad thing for them, as no one had had time to stop and listen to the pure chaos occurring around Stark Tower.

Just as a light tapping of heels could be heard, distant music begun to play."

"I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss."

One of the interns looked up with a frown, turning their head towards the door. "Does anyone else hear boss music?"

With that, the door was flung open, revealing Peter in all of his CEO glory.

"I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss!"

"Heyyyy, Interns! How's it going?" Peter asked, taking a sip of his newest Starbucks drink.

The interns gaped at him, some due to his outfit and others due to the theme music.

"What..." One of the interns started then trailed off, connecting last weeks announcement with this. "Oh, you're the CEO for the day."

Peter grinned. "Yup."

"Where's your assistant, Mr CEO?" A different intern joked.

"There's an intruder on the seven floor so Harley's off shooting him with potato's until the police arrive."

"Ah," came the synchronised reply. Typical Harley.

Just as Peter was about to open his mouth, likely suggesting that they do something chaotic as a group, Friday interrupted. "Sorry to interrupt, Mister Boss Bitch CEO Babe For-The-Day, but the police are in the lobby and wish to speak with the highest person available. You are required."

Peter sighed, pouting at the interns. "Sorry, guys, gals, genderfluid and non-binary pals, but duty calls. Buh-byyyye!"

With that, he was strutting out of the room, music playing once again.

"I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss."

"I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss,
I'm a bitch, I'm a boss,
I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss."

Just as Peter was out of earshot, well, if he weren't superhuman, one of the interns turned to the others. "My gods, he really is a boss bitch!"