I don't usually post on a Thursday (or whatever day it is for your Timezone), but another year has passed, and I'm finally 16! Whoop! 🎉

Anywho, I did far too much research about Spiders in class to not use it for a One-shot...

Ships: Frostmaster (Loki x The Grandmaster), Shurichelle, IronStrange, SpideyPool

Warnings: Swearing, incorrect science and anatomy, idk what else

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"Ugh I hate the sun!" Peter shouted, flinging himself to the floor.

This would have been all good and fine, except he was in the middle of Walmart and it was pouring down outside.

"You good, dude?" Ned asked, looking around to make sure that no one was stink eyeing their small group of friends.

MJ, Ned, Wade, and Peter were at Walmart, purchasing a bunch of piñatas and candy for a late night beat-down party in Wade's apartment.

Usually Shuri and Loki would have joined them, but Shuri was being forced to attend some weird Wakanda practice dinner that she despised greatly. Mainly because her girlfriend, MJ, wasn't allowed to be there. Loki, on the other hand, was off world with his boyfriend, The Grandmaster.

"Yeah, are you okay, Petey-pie?" Wade asked, helping Peter to his feet.

"I'm so tired of seeing light. How do people live like this?" Peter half-wailed, shielding his eyes from the light.

While the Ned and Wade shared looks of confusion, MJ's eyes widened in realisation. "Holy shit, Parker. I've heard about spiders having it, but are you able to see Ultraviolet light?!"

"Uhm, yeah. Isn't everyone?" Peter asked, rubbing his eyes. "Ooo, fruit loops!"

"No, dude... no we are not," Nee sighed, shaking his head.

Wade frowned deeply. "How did you not know that?!"

"Well, after that week of absolute agony I went through when I was first bitten, my whole body healed itself. I wasn't exactly healthy before hand. Practically on my deathbed quite a bit," Peter laughed bitterly.

He hadn't wanted to worry Aunt May, but he'd been exceptionally unwell in the months leading up to the bite. "So, yeah. I just assumed that my senses, other than the spider one, were reset at normal. You know, basic bitch style."

"Yeah, well, congrats on your newly realised super sight," Wade smirked, getting laughs from Ned and MJ.

"We should buy a cake to celebrate!" Ned exclaimed.

"FUCK YEAH!"

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"Everyone, everyone!" Peter cried, bouncing into the Avengers training room one weekend.

"Ah!" Tony screeched, surprised by the sudden appearance of his teenage son. Without thinking, he sent a blast from his new repulsers, sending the teen flying into a far wall.

Everyone gasped as Peter let out a startled yelp, crashing into the cement - leaving a person sized hole. The teen stayed there momentarily before climbing out, grumbling about the bruising he he would face the next day.

"I'm so sorry, kid," Tony cried, jumping to Peter's side. "Are you okay? Did I break any bones?"

Peter stared at him for a moment, head tilting to the side like a confused puppy. "Dad... I don't have bones."

There was a long, drawn out moment of silence, every hero and powerless associate staring at the teen.

"...You don't have bones?" Tony asked softly, face contorting with horror and confusion.

"Um, yeah," Peter laughed awkwardly, blushing under the intense gazes pointed at him. "Spiders don't have bones, they have exoskeletons. When I was bitten, my bones turned into this super flexible combination of chitin and protein. They're now like thick, weightless elastic bands that look like bone."

"Holy fucking shit!" Bucky cried. "That's why you're so light!"

"And you're happy without real bones? It doesn't hurt?" Nat asked, stepping forward.

"Nah - It's awesome!" Peter grinned. "I swear I've told you this before... They don't break or snap, even at extreme pressure. I was perfects fine when that building fell on me."

Spider-Man froze, realising his mistake the moment the other heroes started yelling. Nobody knew about what happened with the Vulture.

"I'm sorry, a WHAT fell on you?!" Steve cried, looking at Bucky for guidance. Bucky looked just as pissed off, perhaps more so.

"Who was it, I will stab them!" Loki practically growled.

Tony and Stephen were hyperventilating, clutching their chests in panic. Bruce was starting to look a bit green around the face.

"A name, Pete," Natasha demanded, "I need a name."

"One word, darling, and I'll ruin their lives forever," Pepper offered, pulling Peter into a hug.

Shuri immediately begun listing off names of everyone who had ever opposed Peter, then turned to look at her friend. "So which bitch do I need to make dead in a ditch?"

"Shuri," T'Challa said warningly, then turned to Peter with a stoic look. "But seriously, you are practically family, Peter. A strike at your life is a strike at Wakandian royalty. I will have them tried for attempted regicide, if you wish."

"I shall convince mother and father of the same!" Thor declared passionately. "You shall eat from the sacred tree of immortality and join us as an Asgardian god, man of spiders!"

Peter stared open mouthed at the Avengers and Co, utterly horrified. "And this is why I didn't tell you about the building..."