I told my mum about this one-shot book and she posted about it on Facebook! Do any of you know how embarrassing it is knowing that everybody you have ever met knows about you writing and reading FanFictions? I hope not because it's horrible!

I've seen a bunch of one-shots where Peter has very serious, emotionally driven tattoos, so I took this request from @Sg62503 as an opportunity to write this strange and funny nonsense.

Ships: Spideypool, Shurichelle, IronStrange, Maytasha (May x Natasha)

Warnings: Swearing

Information for the chapter: Aunt May is still alive but she gave Stephen and Tony permission to adopt Peter.

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It all started with a smoke alarm and a sleepy Peter Parker-Stark-Strange.

Stumbling through the strangely clean halls, Peter made his way into towards the source of the horrific beeping noise, aka the kitchen.

In said kitchen were two people who never ever should have been allowed to cook. Tony and Stephen Stark-Strange were both so horrible at cooking that Gordon Ramsey refused to eat their food, and Gordon has probably eaten sushi from almost every gas station in Nebraska.

"Morning kid, would you mind grabbing the blender out for me?" Tony asked, dicing a dozen or so bananas into tiny pieces.

Peter mumbled a sleepy 'whatever' before leaning over to grab out the machine from a bottom cupboard. As he rummaged around the cupboard, his shirt rode up slightly, revealing a the bottom of a tattoo.

"Peter," Stephen said slowly, "what in the actual fuckity fuck is that?"

His adoptive parents were staring at him with wide eyes, both unsure if what they had just seen was a tattoo or just a trick of the light.

"A blender?" Peter answered in confusion, cradling the blender like a small child as he stood up.

"Not that, the tattoo!" Tony exclaimed, taking the blender away from a nervous Peter.

Peter winced. "Well a couple weeks ago I got very drunk with MJ, Ned, Wade, and Shuri and we kinda got tattoos."

"First of all how? You're 16! Secondly, tattoos? As in multiple?!" Stephen cried, his face turning white.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. The details from that night are all really hazy, but I'll show you my favourite tattoo." Peter said, lifting up the back of his shirt. The room developed into silence as they stared at Peter's back.

"Peter, why do you have a tattoo of Donald Trump and Bucky making out?" Tony asked, trying to hide his amusement.

Peter turned around and blinked at his adoptive father. "Are you telling me that you don't ship Ducky?"

Giggles escaped Tony's throat, which he attempted to hide behind his hand. Stephen simply walked out of the room, deciding to just let Tony deal with it.

"This is so hilarious that I can't even be angry at you for getting a tattoo." Tony said between giggles before walking out of the room to compose himself, abandoning his bananas.

Peter shrugged his shoulders and also left the room, going back to his bedroom in order to get ready for school.

The brunette teen was an excited mess seeing since his Aunt May and Aunt Nat, who had married a couple months back, were coming to the tower with the rest of his superhuman family.

He was so excitement that the next thing he knew, he was walking into his last class of the day, Science class, with his friends.

Peter sighed in relief when he didn't hear a raspy, half sarcastic greeting from the teacher's desk, but sadly the classroom wasn't void of the dickwad they called a teacher for long.

"Shuri! What do you think you are wearing?! That skirt is much too short!" The teacher science, Mr Moore, screeched as he walked into the room. This got him a lot of questioning looks as he was too far away from Shuri to even see her skirt.

Shuri looked down at her black pleated circle skirt, which was only 2 inches above her knee, and the leopard print tights she wore underneath it. She frowned before turning to the teacher with her best bitch face. "You're slut shaming me when Rebecca over there is wearing a hot pink mini skirt and a tube top?"

Rebecca, who really was wearing a mini skirt and a tube top, made an offended scoffing noise before turning her attention back to her phone.

"Miss Swann is abiding by the school dress code, you are not. Now, change at once!" The teacher shouted, pointing towards the door.

"But I don't even have a change of pants!" The princess of Wakanda spat through gritted teeth.

Peter, who had been too busy day dreaming about burning down the school to pay attention to what was happening, raised his hand. "I have a spare pair of shorts she can change into."

The teacher nodded, agreeing to let Peter out of class. "Yes, yes, but hurry back!"

The duo left the classroom quickly with the teacher smirking in the background and Shuri explaining to a now fuming Peter what he had missed in his fire filled daze.

The princess of Wakanda, who walked back into the classroom first, was now sporting a pair of short shorts over the top of her tights. They were Peter's emergency shorts for when he needed to Thot up the school a little bit.

The teacher nodded with a slight frown on his ancient face. Even though both outfits were completely fine, he still thought they were much too inappropriate.

Peter walked in next, making the old geezer of a teacher almost have a heart attack.

"Peter Parker, why are you wearing Shuri's skirt?!" Mr Moore shouted in horror. Peter always used the last name 'Parker' at school because, other then his friends, no one knew he was Stephen and Tony's adoptive son, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Firstly, because I can. And secondly, because I look hot in it!" Spider-Man said, snapping his fingers sassily before spinning around.

This spin made the skirt rise just enough for one of his other tattoos to be visible.

The teacher caught a glimpse of the tattoo on his back thigh and gasped in disgust. "Is that what I think it is, young man?"

"If you mean my Spongebob tattoo then yes." Peter said, smirking.

(I tried to describe it but you can't describe brilliance so...)

The teacher spluttered, looking around in horror. "Why would you do such an awful thing as to get a tattoo?!"

"Oh, it wasn't just me." Peter chuckled as Shuri, Ned, MJ, and Wade all moved different parts of their clothing to show off identical tattoos.

The teacher started hyperventilating, leaving the class immediately to go and complain to the most likely stoned principal, who honestly couldn't care less.

The class was used to this and packed up their belongings to leave. Every time this happened, which was usually about once a week, the class would just leave early since he most likely wouldn't return for the rest of the lesson.

"So, what are my otp ship, boyfriend, and best friend doing for the rest of today?" Peter asked with a grin, walking out the the classroom with his friends.

MJ took out her phone to show them a picture of some guy that was most likely named Chad. "This homophobic piece of work is named Chadwick Chadwick. Yes, really. He commented on one of Shuri's Instagram posts that she is worthless because she is a lesbian."

"WHAT?!" Ned, Wade and Peter all shouted, looking murderous.

"So," Shuri said with an evil smirk, "we are teaming up with his soon-to-be ex girlfriend to get revenge."

"Not only had he been cheating her for months, but she's also a raging bisexual." MJ cackled demonically.

Ned spoke up next. "I'm hacking into Donald Trump's twitter account so that I can make Ducky cannon."

Peter squealed before high fiving Ned. "Best. Idea. Ever. What about you Wade?"

"I'm going to walk around New York in my Deadpool outfit and throw chimichangas at random people." The black and red anti-hero answered happily.

"So an average evening for you then?" MJ said with a smirk, raising her left eyebrow.

Wade crosses his arms and pouted, making everybody laugh before they said their goodbyes.

Once Ned, MJ, and Shuri had all left, Peter and Wade fell into a slightly awkward silence.

"I guess it's just the tatt-two of us!" Wade joked to break up the silence, making Peter immediately turn and walk in the other direction.

Deadpool giggled at his boyfriend's reaction before turning around and skipping in the other direction.

Peter, on the other hand, was buzzing with excitement as he Naruto ran all the way to the tower. He hadn't been able to see his two Aunts since they went on their extended Honeymoon/Hydra beating up spree.

Since Natasha had taught May everything she knew about fighting, May was basically now a ninja. But her ninja skills didn't stop her getting tackled into a hug by her teenage nephew.

"How have you been, ребенок паук?" Natasha asked with a loving smile.

Peter grinned largely, pulling his other Aunty into the hug. "You know, the usual. Kicking names and taking ass."

May pulled back, eyes turning from happy to angry within seconds. "Tony has informed us that you randomly got tattoos out of the blue?"

The couple each raised an eyebrow as he nodded nervously.

"Show us so that we can rate how idiotic you are and give you a suitable punishment." Natasha commanded, making Peter wince.

He showed them his Spongebob tattoo, and his Donald Trump and Bucky tattoo, before moving the collar of his shirt to reveal the last tattoo.

Right above where his heart was, Peter had a rainbow love heart tattooed onto his skin. This would have been perfectly normal and fine if it weren't for the writing in the heart, which is because the writing simply said 'Insert Text Here' in bold cursive letters.

Seeing this, May immediately yeeted Peter out of a window for his idiocy.