I'm Stuck In A Fucking Time Loop
This chapter is a request from @HeAteMyTailor - who has probably forgotten about it by now because it's been like 8 months (whoops!). Sorry! Sorry for not posting since like February, too!
Also, I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to femalebakugo who greatly helped me write this chapter! Without her it probably would've taken another month to write and post this chapter, and it definitely wouldn't be as good!
Ships: Stony, and mentions of Spideypool
Warnings: Repeated character death (short term), a character being repeatedly brought back to life, swearing, fighting, death in general, and its pretty dark
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Peter Rogers-Stark had never liked time.
He didn't like the passing of time, or the concept of it, or the possibility of someone actually being able to control it.
For this exact reason, Peter was having a very bad day. Or Spider-Man was, actually, considering that the newest super-villain wasn't intentionally going after the son of IronMan and Captain America.
"TimeLord!" Peter shouted, cringing at the villain's stereotypical name. "Stop doing time shit!"
Everything about this villain was cringey, really. His costume was a dull black body suit (made out of the same material as tights) with poorly made paper plate clocks stuck all over him. His hair was bright orange and his eyes were covered by 80s inspired dark blue tinted glasses.
"No, no, no, Spidey-Boy! The fun has only just begun!" TimeLord cackled evilly, shaking his hand slightly.
Underneath his mask, Peter's face scrunched up in confusion, but before he could ask what TimeLord meant, he was knocked unconscious.
———
It was a deep, echoing thud that startled Peter awake, though it came out of seemingly no where. There was no nearby cause to result in such a loud affect, which immediately made him uneasy.
Another thing that made the teen uneasy was his new settings - an empty alleyway - and his new clothing.
No longer was he wearing his usual red and blue Spider-Man suit, instead the colours had morphed into shades of grey. It was still his suit, but different. Even Karen was different.
The AI no longer held the comforting feminine voice Peter was used to, instead it was far more electronic, untrustworthy, and almost Siri like. "Spider-Man... Spider-Man..." Karen repeated as Peter stood, her electronic voice glitching, almost as if she was finding Peter's situation incredibly funny.
"K-Karen?" Peter asked, lifting himself off the the ground. "What's going on?"
There was no response from the AI, only silence.
Peter looked around, confused and annoyed. He knew that the Timelord had something to do with his current situation, he just didn't know what.
Before Peter could ask Karen what was going on, the unmistakable sound of his father's repulsers filled the alleyway. The teen quickly turned around, letting out a relieved sigh as Tony Stark landed In front of him.
Except, Tony Stark wasn't Tony Stark. Not the real Tony Stark, anyway.
"Dad!" Peter cried, stepping forward. His Peter senses immediately went wild, but he ignored them. This was his father, after all, and his father wouldn't hurt him. "What's going on?!"
Ironman remained silent, not moving in the slightest. So Peter took another step toward, now even more confused then before. "Dad?"
Ironman slowly raised his right arm, his palm facing towards Peter and his repulsers lighting up an electric blue colour, as if he was about to blast his own son.
"What are you-" Peter was cut off as Tony fired, unable to move out of the way in time.
————
Peter expected that dying would hurt, because it did - very much so. It was quick but extraordinarily painful for the teen. What he did not expect was to immediately wake up in the same alleyway, unharmed and alone.
"Well, isn't that sad." Karen's newly statical and electronic voice cooed, "A father killing his own son!"
Malicious laughter sounding strangely masculine filled the alleyway, coming directly from Karen.
"Karen! What's going on?!" Peter cried, jumping to his feet and, once again, looking around.
She didn't answer.
"Okay... okay..." Peter mumbles to himself, internally and externally freaking out. "I've got to find someone else to help me. Dad's evil... maybe one of the others isn't evil."
Karen let out another burst of malicious metallic laughter, but didn't comment.
"Uncle Thor! Uncle Bruce!" Peter called, hoping that maybe his uncles weren't villains.
Neither of the two vocally responded to the teen, but a deep booming grunt, and a loud scrapping noise filled the alleyway. The second sound was almost as if someone was dragging a piece of thick metal against the concrete floor, whilst the first was eerily familiar yet completely different to any noise Peter had ever heard.
Peter's tingle went wild again as the Hulk and Thor sluggishly made their way into the alleyway.
The god of lightning was dragging his hammer along the ground, something Peter had never witnessed the god do. Hulk, on the other hand, seemed extremely different to how he usually was.
He no longer seemed angry but well-wishing on a mental level, now he was more animalistic, chaotic, and mindless. Like a giant zombie more interested in murder then eating a brain or two.
Peter's throat went dry as he looked at his uncles. They both stood so stoically, like the perfect soldiers waiting on commands.
"H-Hulk? Uncle Thor?" Peter whispered weakly, dread filling his stomach.
His two uncles looked at each other, heads turning completely sideways but bodies remaining perfectly still.
As the two no-longer-heroes lightly nodded at each other, as if signalling the other to continue, Peter attempted to web then up with his web shooters.
Except, he web shooters refused to work.
"Fuck!" Was all Peter could say before Thor lifted his hammer, the Hulk raised his fist, and they both charged at him.
Two loud thuds brought Peter to the end of his life.
————
Once again, Peter found himself laying on the cold concrete flooring of the alley, in the exact same position he had awoken in the first time.
This time Karen didn't speak as he awoke, which was a good thing for the teen. He was already dealing with the fact that his father and two uncles had brutally murderer him, he didn't need to be made fun of by an AI.
Instead, Peter decided to study the alleyway, attempting to find a way to escape his constant deaths. If he could outrun his villainous family, maybe he would be free.
He knew that he couldn't just web his way over the buildings, even if he could get his web shooters to work. They were seemingly endlessly tall.
Actually, the building were incredibly weird, as well. A few dozen window were attached to the dark blue bricked building to his right, revealing only empty black rooms.
The dark red brick building to his left had no windows, but a random scattering of doors that - as shown by the one hanging slightly open - lead to nowhere.
The back of the alleyway had a dark creamy yellow bricked building. This building was completely void of doors and window, but a small - barely visible - kitchen clock was attached to what assumably was the fifth floor.
Peter slowly got up, his mind whirling as he thought of any and every possible way of escaping or avoiding the people he loved.
Subconsciously, Peter took notice of the dragging marks imprinted by Thor's hammer that remained in the ground after his last death.
Anyway, maybe he could contact the Guardians of the Galaxy... if his family was being affected by something to turn them evil, the Guardians wouldn't be infected.
Could he even contact the Guardians? Karen wasn't... alright. She wouldn't help him. He also had no clue where he was, so getting back to Stark Tower would be difficult.
With that last thought, Peter decided that finding a way out of the Alleyway would be his best idea, for now at least.
But, luckily for Peter, the Alley entrance/exit was extremely accessible.
Spider-Man quickly made his way out of the alley, only to find himself back in the alley he'd just left. He huffed and attempted to exit the alleyway again, only to find himself, once again, in the same exact alleyway.
"What the fuck, Richard?! This is some horror movie level bullshit!" Peter screamed, throwing his arms into the air and glaring at the pitch black sky.
"Language!" A gruff and familiar voice called from behind him.
Peter turned around, a bright grin on his face. Not only was his other father - Steve Rogers-Stark - here, but his father could speak, unlike the other 3!
According to Peter's internal logic, Steve could talk so he must not be evil.
He was wrong.
"Pops!" Peter cried. "Thank the gods you're here! I was freaking the fuck out!"
Instead of comforting his son, Captain America scowled, lifting his shield up.
"Bad language such as yours is what's destroying America." Steve spat, making Peter freeze. "And people who destroy America are terrorists."
Peter's hands shook lightly as he tried to make his web shooters turn on. He didn't want to hurt his father, but he didn't want his father to kill him, either. "Pops, please-"
"Sorry, kid." Captain America said, directly throwing his shield at the teen's neck. "But I don't negotiate with terrorists."
And then he was dead.
——————
Peter snarled as he opened his eyes. "I am so not feeling the Aster."
"Did you really just make a Young Justice reference, you fucking loser!" Karen's statical voice spat.
"Oh, be quiet! If I want to complain about not feeling so Taught, I fucking will!" Peter cried, jumping to his feet.
Getting no further response from Karen, Peter shrugged his shoulders, not planning on doing anything in particular. He couldn't run away, escape, or call for help - at least not until he identified and understood what the fuck was going on.
So Spider-Man just stood there - awaiting his death. Again.
And, like clockwork, his fourth death came.
Jumping from seemingly nowhere, Natasha, Bucky, and Clint landed in front of Peter in dramatic crouched superhero stances.
Wasting no time, Bucky rushed forward.
Having sparred with the Winter Soldier rather regularly - just as he had sparred with all the other Avengers - Peter knew that Bucky could take a lot more pain then an average human.
So, using a small amount of his super strength, Spider-Man pushed the Winter Soldier into the red brick building. It wasn't enough force to knock him unconscious, but enough to disorientate him.
As Bucky flew into the wall, Natasha and Clint sprinted forward, attacking Peter in sync.
Peter gently threw Natasha backwards and began softly fighting Clint off, not using much force as he was scared of hurting them. If he injured or killed any of his family members, Peter wouldn't be able to live with himself - even if he was protecting his own life.
Natasha froze for a moment, her body twitching as if she was a robot short circuiting after being exposed to water, before returning to normal.
This distracted Peter, who stopped fighting Clint because he was worried that something was wrong with Natasha. Even if the Avengers had turned into villains and were repeatedly killing him whilst ignoring all their family history, they were still just that - his family.
The momentary was just enough time for Bucky to slam forward, wrapping his metal fingers around Peter's neck.
And, with a deafening crack, the world went black.
——————
And so the cycle of dying and waking up continued.
It started with Tony.
Then Thor and the Hulk.
Then Steve.
And finally Natasha, Bucky, and Clint.
No matter what Peter did, there was nothing that could keep him alive. Without hurting his family, at least, and he sure as hell wouldn't be doing that.
At least, that was until the end of Peter's 19th life, when he had an epiphany.
——————
The moment Peter opened his eyes, he realised what was going on, and he wasn't amused.
"I'm stuck in a fucking time loop!" He gasped out, eyes wide. "This is literally the plot of a horror movie! I'm stuck in Happy Death Day! Fuuuucccckkkkk!"
It was then that Karen decided to speak up, her metallic voice heavy with sarcasm. "Well, aren't you a genius, Spider-Man. It only took you 19 lives. Let's hope you can web your way out of this one..."
Peter rolled his eyes, this definitely wasn't his Karen. "Hush! Your opinion is no longer valid! You're not even real!"
If the time-loop-edited AI could role her eyes verbally she would. "I'm as real as you are, Spider-Man."
"No you're not! You're just an illusion created by Timelord!" Peter cried, throwing his arms in the air.
"Let's see how dying feels like for a 20th time, then, If this is all not real." Karen responded, going silent.
As if summoned, Natasha, Clint, Bucky, Thor, Tony, Steve, and Hulk, all entered the alleyway. Whilst Peter hadn't fought all 7 of them at the same time before, the time loop versions of his family weren't exactly the strongest or smartest.
Peter grinned, realising that he could do as much physical damage to them as he needed to, since they weren't real. Furthermore, he didn't need his web shooters as he still had his strength, speed, agility, his Peter Tingle, and the ability to stick to walls.
Tony blasted at Peter first, but a well timed shove sent Steve into his husband and both of them into the red brick building, leaving Peter with his Pops's shield.
Using his super strength, Peter threw Cap's shield at the Hulk's head, knocking Hulk unconscious. Spider-Man knew that Hulk would not be down for long, but a few minutes was good enough for now.
"How did Happy Death Day end..." Peter asked himself out loud, flipping Natasha onto the ground while he yanked Bucky's hair.
Clint slammed his fist into Peter's jaw, splitting his lip, to which Peter retaliated with a hearty punch and a broken nose.
Captain America and Ironman both picked themselves up and ran back towards Peter. Tony, attempting to blast Peter, had his helmet torn off and his arm grabbed by Spider-Man, who used the blasters to his advantage.
Using the blasters, he quickly sent Thor and Bucky flying into opposite buildings, knocking Bucky unconscious. Whilst kicking Clint in his broken nose, Peter knocked his father out with a nearby piece of rubble.
"For fuck sake, there was no ending! There's a sequel!" Peter cried, elbowing both Natasha and Steve at the same time.
Thor has picked himself up at that point, and threw his hammer at Peter's head. Peter, being worthy, grasped the Hammer and threw it at Clint and Steve (who were standing together), knocking them both unconscious.
A loud grunt indicated that Hulk had finally retained consciousness, worrying Peter slightly.
"Okay... okay... how do you stop a time loop?" Peter mumbled to himself, using his strength to kick the Hulk's feet out from under him. "The loop must be connected to something other then me."
Natasha barreled forward, a knife in hand, but Peter grabbed the knife, flipped her over, and threw the knife into Thor - who was charging forward. "What would Timelord use?"
Peter summoned Thor's hammer before throwing it into the Hulk's stomach, which sent him flying into the black brick wall.
"Time... minutes.... tic toc... clock... clock!" Peter gasped, punching Thor in the nose while turning towards the back building of the alleyway.
Attached to that building was the barely visible clock, ticking away quietly.
The clock was his freedom.
Peter quickly flipped Natasha into Thor, before using his ability to stick to walls to climb up the black brick building.
Hulk clearly didn't like Peter's plan because he shook off the hammer and grabbed for Spider-Man. Instead of allowing himself to be grabbed, Peter back flipped onto Hulk's head and used that force to propel himself onto the red brick wall.
"No!" Karen's cracking, metallic voice cried, once again taking on a masculine undertone. "I took away your web shooters you shouldn't be able to stick!"
Peter ignored the robotic voice, ignored his family, and ignored everything else except for the clock.
If his theory was correct, all he had to do was break the clock and he'd be set free, and nothing was going to stop him.
And then came Tony and his repulsers.
No longer unconscious, helmestless Ironman flew extremely close to Peter, attempting to shoot him off the wall.
Instead, Peter used his super strength and agility to kick his father in the face while simultaneously pushing himself upwards.
With a loud crash, Peter's elbow smashed through the glass of the clock, making the world around him completely go black.
Within seconds Peter was laying in the same position and place he'd been knocked unconscious in originally - when was fighting Timelord.
Jumping up, Peter twirled around until his eyes found the nervous looking villain.
Timelord grimaced slightly, lifting is right hand in a light waving motion. "Hi."
An extremely pissed off Peter stared at the time themed supervillain, who now seemed to be wishing his taken a different career path.
Timelord gulped deeply, shaking slightly as he tried to calm the angry hero. "W-Well this has been fun, aye? No hard feelings...? Let's do this again sometime? Also, I've trapped your family in their tower and forced them to watch you die 19 times, sooo...."
A chilling glare from Spider-Man made Timelord squeak and run away, understanding that it was his best chance of survival.
"Come back here you bastard! I'm going to kill you!" Peter screamed, chasing after the villain.
Let's just say, Timelord has a long stay at the hospital after this, especially long considering that Peter's boyfriend - Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool - overheard the commotion.
In the end, the Avengers were distraught, Peter was definitely mentally scarred, and Wade had to spend like $100 dry cleaning his blood covered supersuit.
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