A section of this chapter I wrote while on laughing gas because I had to have a wayyyyyy too old baby tooth removed. I don't think you'll be able to tell which part since I always write like I'm high, but kudos if you can!

Anyway, this is a request by goats6666 and I'm so so so sorry for how long it has taken.

Important Question Time!!!!

- Are any of you interested in a Spiderverse crossover oneshot (specifically where Peter meets Miles)?

- Would you guys ship Peter x Miles or is it a friends/spider brothers situation? What about Harley x Miles? (I've been seeing a bunch of MechanicalSpider stuff and it's cuttttte)

Ships: SpideyPool, Stucky, Shurichelle, PepperMayTasha (idk, I think they'd make a cute polyamorous couple, plus I hate just picking one of the three individual ships), IronStrange, Clint x his wife (I know, a straight ship for once! Wow)

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, child endangerment (I guess???), attempted kidnapping but not really

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The end-of-year trip; the one day a year students of Midtown could rock up at school, unbothered by the dress code, and experience an un-schooly amount of fun.

Well, in theory, at least. In practice, the fun part could border more on the boring end of the spectrum.

So where else did Peter's class, led by a somewhat tipsy Mr Hall, decide to go but a random bowling alley?

Furthermore, where would Peter's entire family so happen to go for a 'team bonding exercise', but the exact same place?

"Petey-pop!" Natasha called over the silent bowling alley, every eye in the room pointed towards the large group of Avengers and Co. "Hiiiii!"

The only two that weren't present were Thor and Loki. However, Peter was more than certain that they wouldn't be far away.

Peter turned to Ned, eyes wide with horror and face bright red. "Kill me."

Wade - Peter's boyfriend - cackled alongside MJ and her girlfriend Shuri (who didn't actually attend Midtown but the school gave up trying to stop her from attending whenever she showed up).

Mr Hall stared at at the group of Avengers, then at the five teenagers. Wordlessly, he grabbed his 2L 'water' bottle - chugging a quarter of the clear liquid that was definitely not water.

Whether it was in fact A) Vodka, or B) Clear Tequila, was anybody's guess.

"Wait," Flash cried, face flushed and eyes twitching with anger and horror, "you actually know Parker?!"

"Peter!" Tony gasped in mock disbelief. "You didn't tell them about the adoption?"

"Adoption?!" The not in-the-know members of Peter's class shouted. This, of course, did not include Mr Hall who's psychic barista was more than happy to spill tea on hero business.

"Well I took one look at this beautiful genius child of mine and was like 'yeah, that idiot is a Stark'," Tony replied, clutching his chest with a dreamy smile. "Then I told Pepper and Nat to marry his aunt - which they did - and get the adoption papers in order so that Stephen and I could claim him as our own. Now he's ours!"

Peter frowned at the billionaire. "That is not how any of the wen-"

"Hush, dear child of mine," Stephen interrupted dramatically. "You do not know what you're saying. Come, dear husband, let's throw heavy balls at stationary pins."

Steve turned to Bucky with a frown. "Why don't you refer to me as your dear husband?"

"Because you're a bitch," Bucky shrugged, getting a snicker from Natasha and Clint.

Steve considered this for a moment, then nodded. "True."

"Nat, Clint - how are the families going?" Peter asked softly, trying the get a somewhat normal reply.

"Yee-tee-harty, life's a party," Clint shrugged. "The wife and kids are good."

"Same old, same old," Natasha replied. "I'm introducing my murder sister to May and Pepper tomorrow. Wanna come with? Maybe if she is distracted by the odd need women get to become your over-protective aunt/mother figure, she won't make as many jokes about my relationship."

As much as Peter wanted to meet Natasha's sister, the thought was horrifying. So much so that Peter almost took a breath of relief when Loki, Thor, and Bruce (Thor's boyfriend), showed up, taking the attention off of him and his answer momentarily.

That was until Thor's hammer was sent flying towards his face at the speed of lightning.

Ned, Shuri, MJ, and Wade instinctively stepped to the side while Peter let out a high pitched shriek of horror.

Peter reached up his hand and grabbed the hammer - stopping it before it could plow into his face.

"What the absolute fuckery is this lightning bullshit, Thot?!" Peter cried, shoulders shaking as he clutched the hammer to his chest.

Gasps filled the bowling alley - every person in the room knowing what holding Thor's hammer meant. Peter Stark-Strange was worthy!

"Holy fucking shit balls," Flash cried before swiftly passing out. Clearly he wasn't having a Gucci day.

Loki laughed as Peter placed down the hammer, watching as Thor bounded over to the teen. The god of thunder looked practically glowing as he stopped in front of Peter.

"I must show you off to the Asgardians, child of Stark and Sorcerer," Thor boomed, easily lifting Peter off the ground and cradling him as if he were a baby.

"Oi, Point Break!" Tony shouted, strutting across the room, a displeased Stephen trailing behind him. "Put down my kid!"

"I shall fight thee for young Peter!" Thor cried, handing Peter to Natasha, who was able to cradle the teen with an equal amount of ease, before she placed him on the floor.

While Thor and a now iron-manned-up Tony fought, spurred on by both Loki and Bucky, Nat grinned at the teens. "I've got Tony's credit card and permission from your teacher. Wanna grab your friends and get out of here?"

Peter, Wade, Ned, Shuri, and MJ shared a look before replying in sync. "FUCK YEAH!"