This is a request from littlekitte159 and I want to start off by apologising for how long it's taken to write/post this request. I got this request early October... it's late February! I'm so sorry to everyone who's requested something from me and hasn't received it yet. I will get it done as soon as I can!

Furthermore, I have decided to no longer take requests. This will NOT be a forever thing; I will take requests again eventually! I just want to focus on my own ideas for a little bit, not someone else's...

The requests I've received prior to this are not included and I WILL be writing them - hopefully within the next month or two I will have them all written.

Again - I am NO LONGER taking REQUESTS.

Thank you for understanding!

Warnings: Swearing, technically character death (idk)

Ships: IronStrange, SpiderFrost, Stucky, BlackPepper

——————

Not to quote Beatlejuice the Musical, or anything (even though it's an absolute bop), but everything, everything happens for a reason~!

Everything...

So, when a group of Barney Cosplayers - along with a very high Donald Trump - decided to take over Tokyo, there was a reason.

Officially, the reason was that the attackers believed the true Barney was locked in a basement somewhere in South Korea and needed ownership of Tokyo to get him back. (Not sure how they came up with this plan, but whatever...)

Unofficially, the reason is simply that the author's suffering from writers block (again) and has decided to reuse some of her old (but relatively amusing) ideas.

What has this got to do with the price of Eggs in China? Nothing.

Absolutely fucking nothing.

But it does have everything to do with the following chapter.

"For fucks sake, dad's wearing his suit around the tower again. Something bad must be going down." Peter Stark-Strange mumbled as he lounged on the living room couch with his boyfriend - Loki.

As if on cue, a red metal fist punched through the automated sliding door, making Peter role his eyes at his father's dramatics.

The fist was quickly replaced by Tony's helmet-less face, smooshed up again the large hole. "Peter, Evil Goat Goth! Don't blow up the fucking tower while we're gone, we have a bitch ass world to save!"

Loki hissed at him like an angry kitten - clearly annoyed at being called 'Evil Goat Goth' - while Peter just sighed.

"Whatever, just don't die or anything."

And so there they - Peter and Loki - were. Two powerful, moronic teenagers left alone in a giant high tech tower. No supervision, no parents, no limitations.

There was a few minutes of near silence (with the only noise coming from the ads  playing on the tv, that is), before Peter turned to Loki. The god of Mischief shivered slightly, looking up to meet the gaze of his grinning boyfriend.

"No." Loki said simply, glaring at the brunette.

Peter pouted. "Please?"

"No, no, no!"

"Pretty please? I'll get you some of that German chocolate you love~" Spider-Man begged, turning his puppy dog eyes on his boyfriend.

There was an unintelligible grumble from the god. "Fine! But I want a whole crate full!"

"Fuck yeah! I'm gonna learn magic!" Peter shrieked.

He had been trying to convince Loki to teach him for months, but he had refused every time. Something about the magical balance, Spider-Man being overpowered, not wanting to create a black hole, etc., etc...

A loud, regretful sigh echoed through the living room, making Peter cackle evilly.

Someone - likely multiple someones - would very much regret leaving them at the tower alone.

———— 2 Days Later... ————

There was a chilling, eerie silence within Avengers Tower. This was extremely unusual for a Saturday at 1pm - a time when almost every Avenger was present.

That silence did not last long.

A long, high pitched screech of horror echoed through the tower, followed by multiple other screeches.

Once the horrified screeches were finally finished, a pair of evil cackles came from the main living room.

"What have you mother-fucking duck ass bitches done?!" Tony screeched, storming into the living room with the other Avengers in tow.

The two magic users - Loki and Peter - put on their most innocent facades, batting their eyelashes and pouting slightly. "Nothing..."

"Nothing?! NOTHING?! My room is now a literal nest full of hawks and magpies, How the feathery-FUCK did you two get magpies here?! They're from Australia!" Clinton shrieked.

His clothes were torn to shreds, his was hair messy and covered in feathers, and he had multiple peck marks all over his face.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" Loki shrieked back, throwing a pillow at the archer.

"What about me?!" Tony cried, holding out a rainbow coloured screw driver. "My entire lab is rainbow. Rainbow! Every-fucking-thing is rainbow; my tools, my walls, my windows, even my IronMan suits..."

Tony slumped to the floor, clutching the hammer like a baby as he sobbed loudly. Sure, he loved showing off his gayness to the world, but the amount of rainbow in that one room was a complete eyesore.

Steve and Bucky then stepped forward - both looking confused as fuck.

Steve started speaking but it wasn't his voice that came out, it was Bucky's. "This is some FanFiction level weird shit, Peter. Turn us back."

"Language!" Bucky - who was actually Steve - shouted before he could stop himself.

"English, honey. We're speaking English at the moment." The real Bucky said, rolling his eyes at his boyfriend.

"This is so fucking confusing." Loki groaned, looking between them as Peter nodded in agreement. They wouldn't be turning them back, though - at least not until the spell wore out in an hour.

"What the fuck is this, huh?!" Stephen said, throwing handfuls of tea bags at the two teens.

Clint looked confused. "Tea bags?"

Peter snickered. "Nope. They look like tea, but they're really coffee."

Everybody (except for the two teens and Stephen) winced. They all knew how much Stephen loved tea and hated coffee. He could barely stand the smell, much less the taste.

"My precious babies," The sorcerer cried, "All tainted by that disgusting shit!"

"You're a witch, aren't you, witch? Just turn them back." Loki said, rolling his eyes.

Stephen immediately perked up, grinning brightly. He quickly began removing the spell on each individual teabag, turning them back to tea.

"I do not understand. Dresses are for females, are they not? Why have you switched my battle armour for female clothing." Thot asked, frowning. Everybody's attention turning to him.

All of his clothing - except for his underwear and socks - had been replaced with a combination of mini dresses and princess costumes. Furthermore, every piece of clothing (other then underwear and socks) that he tried to put on would magically morph into a dress.

Loki cackled evilly - reminding many of the room's occupants of a stereotypical mad scientist.

"Well, blue is your colour.." Peter smirked, pointing to the light blue mini dress Thor was wearing. "Plus, you're lucky I talked Loki out of his lingerie idea. Now THAT would have been scandalous!"

Thor frowned softly but nodded in understanding.

It was then that everybody took notice of Bruce. Or Baby Bruce, now.

Though, he wasn't exactly a baby... more of a toddler, really...

Bruce had been de-aged down to 3, and looked absolutely pissed.

"I was about to make a medical break through, now my baby hands are too small to lift a vial!" The literal man-child screeched, glaring at them.

Peter squealed loudly. "Oh my gosh, you're even cuter then I imagined you."

The scientist huffed, crossing his arms. "Turn me back before I go full baby hulk."

"No can do, short stuff. The spell wears off in an hour." Loki snickered, walking over and ruffling Bruce's hair.

Bruce was most certainly not amused by this, grabbing Loki's wrist - biting him harshly. Loki hissed in pain, clutching his hand as Bruce glared at him. "Fine. Now, kindly fuck off, puny god."

The scientist grumbled loudly, angrily storming over to the couch and throwing himself into a sitting position.

There was silence for a few moments before the attention was turned to the only women present.

"Why weren't Pepper and Nat pranked?" Tony asked, pouting and staring at the two women in suspicion.

The two teens blinked at him for a few seconds before Loki decided to answer. "Have you met them?! They're scary as fuck!"

"Mhm," Peter hummed in agreement, "we'd probably be tortured mercilessly if we got a single speck of glitter on anything they owned, much less full on pranked them!"

"Nah, we wouldn't torture or kill you, Petey." Pepper Romanoff-Potts cooed, smiling softly at her non-biological nephew.

Nat nodded with a smirk, agreeing with her wife. "We would torture and kill Loki, though. And Tony."

The billionaire looked aghast. "What?! Why me?!"

"You're Peter's father, aren't you? You'd receive Peter's punishment because he's Baby and can't be injured." Pepper explained.

"Stephen's his father too, though?!" Tony cried, looking absolutely horrified.

Natasha snickered. "Stephen is our gossip buddy - as if we'd kill him."

"Without him we would have never known about Clint's-" Pepper was cut off by Clint, who shrieked loudly in protest.

Nobody - other then Natasha, Pepper, Stephen, and himself - would EVER find out his secret, if he had anything to say about it, at least.

"Whelp, this has been fun. Peter and I will be leaving now." Loki said, looking at the lounge room's holographic clock.

"What? Where are you going?" Stephen frowned.

Loki shrugged, walking over to Peter and grabbing one of his hands. "Anywhere but here, I guess. The black hole's about to appear."

"THE WHAT?!" The Avengers shouted at once, watching as the two teens disappeared off to another universe.

Seconds later that universe was destroyed, leaving only a confused Deadpool floating off into space.

Deadpool pouted, thinking about all the Chimichangas and Pancakes he would never be able to eat. "And this, my fellow Fan-Friends, is why Spider-Man learning magic is a really bad idea."