Italics- Flashbacks
Bold- Singing

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Neil skidded back on the floor, he stopped as his back hit something, he looked up slowly to see Avni looking down at him.

What would she think of him? Would she see him as less than a man.

She looked up, scowling at the man at the door.
So this was the man, if you could even call him that.

She stepped around Neil, toward the door "Get away from my house and dont you ever come back"
He cackled loudly

"Always had to get someone to fight your battles didnt you" he peered down, turned, then walked away.

Avni slammed the door, locking it, she rested her head against it, trying to calm down her racing heart.
Then she turned around, not expecting the image she saw before her.

This was not the time for her to break down, he needed her now more than ever.

Neil had stood up, his brow sweaty, he leaned against the wall "I just remembered I had work to do"

Work would help him forget, he wouldn't be a burden to her that way

Avni stepped closer, very slowly
"Its okay, he's gone now"

The cold look in his eyes faded slowly to a broken one.
"Lets go sit down" she said calmly, though she didnt feel calm at all.
She had to be. For him.

XXX

Neil gripped Avni's hand tightly, his eyes shut, all he could see was him. The man who had taken away everything from him.

"Its okay to cry Neil" she whispered

"Are you gonna cry now" he laughed

"It doesn't make you less of a man, you are the strongest man I know" she soothed

"Look at you, crying like a little girl, so weak, do you want me to stop" he crowed

Neil opened his eyes, he looked down at Avni, then led down in her lap, his shoulders shook as his sobs began to consume him

She raised her hand, stroking his hair, tears silently made their way down her cheeks
"Ive got you Neil, I love you, I will always love you"

XXX

"So I heard you thought it was a good idea to try and tell your mother about our special nights, that wasn't a good idea was it, what will she think of you, she thought she had a son, and really she had a weak little girl"

He lowered himself, kneeling before Neil, he grabbed his chin
"Oh dont cry, it wont make any of this better, but it may make things more enjoyable for me" he smiled conceitedley

He stood up then, his hand on that worn out leather belt, the smell of alcohol and leather the first sign it was another night his uncle would ruin for him

XXX

It was at times like this, he was that five year old boy who didnt understand his uncle's malicious glares and inconspicuous touches.

Then he was eight years old, lying on that bed, frozen in fear, all energy to fight completley drained out of him.

Then he was ten years old, being told he was a child that misbehaves and tells lies
"He'll grow out of those silly imaginations" he heard his family say when they sent him away to live with the only man who claimed to be able to handle him, his uncle

"Neil" Avni called "Can I do anything"
"Just hold me" he paused "Please, you're the only one that can even begin to take it away"
She lifted him up, pulling him toward her, he sat between her legs, his head on her chest as she hummed softly

He could smell the alcohol and leather now, it made his chest tight and breathing seemed almost impossible.

He was that young boy again, he had never felt like a man, because men dont get raped, they fight back, they are strong, but he wasn't.

As if understanding his inner turmoil, Avni kissed his forehead
"None of this is your fault, its his, for doing what he did to you, you were a child, he stole your childhood away from you, how can you ever be at fault for being a child who wanted to live and be free" her voice broke partway through as she rocked him backwards and forwards slowly

No one tried to mess with him when he was suited up in his expensive blazers, shirts and trousers.
He was no longer that young boy who seemed to innocent, and if he believed his clothes could protect him from the innocence that had been stolen.

Then that is what he would believe.

Because he was dressed like a man now, no longer dressed like a young weak boy

His cold exterior would keep any bad away, because this time he was a man and no one tested men, but it didnt keep away the nightmares.

Because he could still feel the weight of his uncle's body against his

He could still feel his grabby hands all over his writhing body

He could still feel his breath against his neck

He could still taste the alcohol on his uncle's breath against his chapped lips

He could still feel the belt rubbing against his wrists as it held his hands away from trying to fight back

"Can you sing to me Avni" he sniffed, gripping onto her like his life depended on it

And his life did depend on it

She gulped, her voice shaky as she sang

"Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay"

He thought he would be over this by now, but he wasnt, he was still that little boy craving for someone to save him, someone to listen, someone to believe

"There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard, at the end of the day"

Every day was an ongoing battle, most couples had made love by now, even had children yet just kissing her was difficult.

She would never hurt him, but all he ever saw was those nights.

"I need some distraction
Oh, beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins

And maybe empty
Oh, and weightless, and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight"

He just wanted to be free from it all, to not have to think of the pain for just a moment.

"In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here"

Those nights alone, shivering under the cold shower, scrubbing at his body. Scrubbing and scrubbing till he bled, till his skin burnt so much he couldnt feel any of it anymore

"So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back

The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack"

Avni rubbed his back as she sang, holding him to her so fearful he would slip away

She had seen pain in his eyes before, but never this look of emptiness, and it scared her, terrified her in fact that he would give up fighting and shrink into a shell of his former self

"It don't make no difference
Escape one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness
Oh, this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees"

She prayed he would just stay with her, just hold on. She would never leave his side, she would protect him.

"In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here"

"I want to shower" he spoke, pulling away
She let go weakly, she really didnt want him to be alone

"Ill be right here, okay"
He nodded and walked to get some clothes

XXX

Neil walked out of the bathroom, his creamy white long sleeved top clung to his wet body.
His eyes still a dark red, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his grey jogging bottoms

Avni stood up slowly "Coffee" she asked
He nodded

She felt so helpless, she had no idea what she could do to save him, to take this away

She moved to the kitchen, his footsteps tred softly behind her as she tried to focus all of her concentration into making the drink

She turned and put the coffee beside him, he looked down

Why wasnt she talking to him? Was she embarassed?

Would she be disgusted if he was to ask her to hold him, because he wanted to be held by her.

He stretched out his arms toward her, she moved quickly, wrapping her arms around his waist, digging her face into his chest.

"Oh Avni" he whispered into her hair
She didnt want to cry infront of him, but she couldnt stop herself

For so long he had dealt with this pain alone, now she was with him, he would never deal with it alone.

I hope this chapter wasn't to heartbreaking.
Please remember, rape isnt ever the victims fault, no matter the gender.

The reason I wrote this story was because I feel like rape as a topic, especially rape when a male is a victim isnt talked about as much as ut should be

There is still a long way to go for Neil and Avni to try and overcome this, I hope this chapter turned out better than expectations

And again, let me know your thoughts

Much love