my own brain
is a traitor

it creeps into the
corners of my
self-consciousness
and tells me i'm not good enough

never will be

but i believe it

all of a sudden
the eyes of the entire
population
fix themselves on me
waiting
for the slightest wrong
to laugh and mimick at
and possibly never forget
for days
or perhaps to roll their eyes
and say, 'what an idiot'

no
that is not me
don't
please don't think that
don't let the image of me
humiliating myself
cement
into your head
i'll do better next time
please
just forget that
that thing i did

that is not me

this is overthinking
a weakness of mine
among several others

;; uGh