love will fuck you up more than drugs ever will.

- the weeknd

you were a risk, a mystery, and the most certain thing I'd ever known.

- beau taplin

They say "the cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea..."

Except that doesn't seem to be the case for Natalie, who is uprooted from her Georgia hometown to a sleepy South Carolina beach town, so that her younger sister Nikki can participate in a clinical trial for her non-hodgkin's lymphoma. Despite the fresh ocean air and open skies, Natalie feels more suffocated than ever. That is, until she runs into Brooklyn - or rather, he runs into her and spills coffee all over her in the hospital hallway. Brooklyn's boyish charm, quirky humor, and sweet disposition are a breath of fresh air for Natalie. A friendship blooms almost immediately, but neither of them can deny there's something more.

A storm looms on the horizon as Brooklyn's history of drug addiction begins to surface again, constantly moments away from unleashing a flood - one that could drown his relationship with Natalie in secrets and lies before it's barely begun.

- realistic depictions of drug addiction, substance abuse, and hard drug use

- strong language

- non-explicit sexual content (& if you whine about the fact that there's no smut I will literally punt you)

- anti-bad boys

- good grammar

- WATTYS 2018 WINNER - "THE HEARTBREAKERS"

- This is a very personal, close to my heart story that is loosely based on my real life experiences. It has sensitive subject-matter that I feel there needs to be more accurate representation of, which is ultimately why I wrote this story. I hope reading this will help anybody who has not experienced this to have a bit better understanding of the reality of dealing with a loved one who is plagued by addiction.

- This is not a bad boy story, and we need to stop heaping harmful stereotypes onto addicts because we think it makes them "bad." Get educated.

- I understand this type of story is not for everyone, and that's okay! You are more than welcome to click out of it if it's not for you, but leaving rude, ignorant, or unhelpful negative comments is not okay and makes me very sad. All of my stories are meant to be safe/positive spaces for both readers and myself, and I have zero issue calling people out, deleting these types of comments, or blocking people if necessary <3

- Please refrain from making ☆ fandom references ☆ on this book, they make me cry

- Original draft started June 18, 2018 | Completed October 2, 2018 // second draft started June 14, 2019 | Completed August 20, 2019 // third draft started June, 2021 | Completed October, 2021

please keep in mind this is still an imperfect piece of fiction, and there still may be continuity errors and typos, since this has not been edited by a professional. when you stare at 80k+ words over a short period of time you can definitely still miss things. feel free to point out typos. however, i am not looking for any constructive criticism at this time, so please keep those kinds of comments to yourself <3

& please be mindful that since this is an edit/rewrite, anything from the previous drafts is subject to change. if you're a rereader, please refrain from posting spoilers or saying things like "oh but in the other version this happened." past drafts are now irrelevant, tysm

Copyright 2018-2022 (moonraess) | All Rights Reserved

This story in its entirety may not be reproduced, downloaded, disseminated, published, or transferred in any form by any means, except with explicit permission by its creator. Don't steal my shit. I'll find out and ruin you.

This is a work of fiction. Any and all characters, locations, and situations are a creation of my own. Any resemblance to real people or places is purely coincidental.

to all those who are fighting your demons - kill 'em with fire.

This is dedicated to my husband's mother, who passed away after a long battle with cancer while I was in the middle of writing the original draft of this story. She never got a chance to read it, but I know she is very proud. Of her son, of me, and anyone who has overcome their struggles, whether it be cancer, addiction, or anything else.

✗✗✗